Question

So because we’ve had to take care of Dementia mom & Epileptic brother ALONG with waiting care of my 2 y/o nephew (might as well say we’ve got joint custody with my sister since we’ve got him Thurs-Sun & take most responsibility for him) ALONG with our family. Mom co-signed for our house and now they want us to refinance since she’s been diagnosed with Dementia. there’s no way we can do that! My mom’s house & land are paid for. Do we take the $4000 they want to refinance & there’s no guarantee we will be approved OR add 2 rooms onto mom’s house with it?  

Answer 1

Who’s they?  

Comments

@roybal how does mortgage company know your mom was diagnosed? I don’t see how they could force that. Check with attorney

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@umbra8 maybe see about doing a refinance then so that way your sister isn’t able to get any of your home if your mom has a will because technically your home is your moms asset

Answer 2

You’re going to want to refinance and get moms name off. She’s sick and you want less issues when the time comes. And get credit ready so you get approved.  

Comments

@umbra8 ok. I was speaking about your house. I hope with caring for others you are giving yourself some Self Care. As a caregiver to family and as a previous career, that’s something that’s important for your sanity. If you are a praying women I would seek wise counsel. Is there a way to see if you qualify for the refi without paying up front? Like with another place? Such as credit union or bank?  

Answer 3

I think it comes down to you what your lawyer says. If it is fully in your names and there is no way your sister can attempt to challenge it, then fine build. But if this segues your future from any boneheadedness, I would spend the $4K on refinance.  

Comments

Yeah I suspect your sister will continue to act this way. She has proven to be unreliable. I just want you and yours secured even if that means a bit cramped till you can save another $$$$ for building some space.  

Answer 4

Here’s another thought-ask your attorney about refinance with another lender. We usedQuicken Mortgage. Super easy. Super quick. Maybe look into them or another lender? I think it’s always good to see what other options may be out there. Good luck!  

Answer 5

WHO is telling you you need to re-finance? If it's your sister telling you to refinance, it sounds as if there might be some sour grapes in her head that makes her think you're getting some GREAT DEAL having had Mom co-sign. I don't know why you are taking in your nephew along with your ill mother and brother, but heaven's. I personally think you should ignore any family nay-sayers who want you to refinance and put the money you'd spend on a refinance into those extra rooms you WILL NEED. If it's a legal issue, then you really need to see an attorney. If your mother and brother are incapacitated, can you get state assistance as their caretaker? I know when my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, her doctor really pushed us to apply for state help. We didn't do it because we didn't really need the money and we had room for her, but there's nothing wrong with getting paid for caring for your ailing family members, and doing so might ease up your budget quite a bit. Good luck.  

Answer 6

I have never heard of a mortgage company caring about a sickness. As long as someone is paying the mortgage they do not care. I have spoken with people where the mortgage holder had been dead for years and they were paying and living in the home. Could your sister have had someone call you pretending to be the mortgage company?  

Answer 7

I have worked in banking and lending for years and this doesn’t make sense to me. Please consult an attorney on this situation. As long as payments are on time and you aren’t delinquent, this mortgage company should never require that you refinance.  

Comments

@umbra8 how did this even get started? Do you have to turn in income info annually, or did they contact you after delinquency?  

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@umbra8 wow I have never heard of anything like this. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it on top of everything else. I wish I could suggest a solution, but being able to refinance with a bank or credit union would be the only way to get away from them - except selling the property. Maybe that is your best bet so you can be done with this company. The amount of money they want is ridiculous!  

Answer 8

So is the problem because your mom sign papers and has dementia? Do they feel this one done when she didn’t have the mental capacity to know what she was doing?  

Comments

@umbra8 no one what? And this may be something you want to let go of for real. Put that money towards your moms house. I was a caregiver for 12 years and I work in Credit now and situations like this with elderly folks are serious. They probably think y’all took advantage of your mom and would consider it elder abuse. So my suggestion is build the two rooms and move back to your moms if y’all can’t refinance.  

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@umbra8 do they stopped y’all from making payments?  

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@umbra8 well if your not willing or able to do that then you’re going to have to move to your moms. Which makes more sense since it’s paid off already.