Question

I’m in a bit of a difficult situation. I’ve realized we are way over extended and I can’t afford to pay minimums on all of my debt. We are a one income family. I make about ~$54k net income a year. I feel like the only things I have wiggle room on are my rent & cell phones. This is our monthly bills below. Rent $1240 Daycare $1100 Electric $131 Gas $58 Internet $60 Utilities $100~ Car Gas $160 Food $400 Cell phones $200 Car insurance $110 Car payment $260 Debt consolidation payment $289 Medicine budget $300 Other Debt - Best Buy min payment $28 - balance $966 QVC min payment $25 - balance $278 Target min payment $28 - balance $230 CFCU min payment $25 - balance $487 CFCU LOC min payment $104 - balance $2300 Walmart min payment $28 - balance $320 A little backstory. The debt consolidation payment includes debt that is not listed above. The amounts above are accounts I could not list in the debt consolidation payment because the accounts are either not old enough or they have promo interest rates. The medicine budget is also not negotiable. Please no judgement in my situation I know I’ve gotten myself into. The only debts I can afford to pay are the CFCU accounts. They are my credit union accounts where my car loan is at. I’m afraid If I stop paying on my credit card & loc that could effect my car loan & I don’t want that. Everything else I see no way in being able to pay. Does anyone have any advice? I will also add the reason our cell phone is so high is because we lease our phones. From what I read in my contract is even if we turn the phones in we still are required to pay the lease balance in full. Which I cannot afford to do and the remaining balance will probably go to collections.  

Answer 1

Catherine, I work for DHS in Oklahoma. Please apply for day care assistance on our website at OKDHSLIVE. ORG. You may save hundreds of $ that way.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry your going through all of that with your husband that must be rough. I dont know what triggers them as I'm sure you dont, is there a way he could refinish furniture or some kind of slow pace side job?  

Comments

@westernize689 he’s trying to get into the medical marijuana industry as it helps tremendously with his issues but he’s just starting to get his foot in the door.  

---

@humidistat11 I think for now I wouldn't make that the front runner it sounds like more time and money. You need to get cash flowing he can still work on that but even just repainting pieces nicely and selling them for double can help quickly.  

Answer 3

No judgement. If you’re working for your in laws is there any chance they could have the kids for a couple of days a week to free up some daycare costs? Or is there a side hustle you/your other half could pick up to do in the evenings? Maybe your other half could start sorting through the house and listing anything you could sell on eBay etc. If he’s not working but can’t have the kids on his own for medical reasons maybe there is something he could feasibly do from home when the kids and you are out for the day?  

Answer 4

How old are your kids ? If your oldest is old enough to use a phone I would let your husband watch them. If there is an emergency and your husband blacks out your oldest can always call you or 911.  

Comments

@fishplate218 3 &18mos.  

---

@humidistat11 another thing you can do is have your husband watch the kids and since they are too young you can put cameras in your house and watch him and the kids periodically and if anything happens run home. You can talk to you kids and husband through the camera. I know there is some wyze cameras that are $20 that you can watch on your phone and talk to people in the room. Or also call and check on him every hour if he doesn’t answer run home and check on them. I’m assuming your in laws are flexible with you working for them

Answer 5

Maybe where it’s summer break or close to find a high school student to keep the kids during the day and dads there to help if needed. Would save a bundle over the summer to help knock out debt. Also make and agreement for when school/fall resumes! You might even be able to find a college student to come help how maybe does online classes and can mash with your schedule!  

Answer 6

@humidistat11 I'm sorry and I've been there too! Is there anything in the home you can try to sell? Right now it's hard that we can't have yard sales but if there is anything excess you can try to get sold it may help. Also, can you talk to your financial institution like a credit union to see if you can further consolidate those store cards?  

Answer 7

Looking at your phone bill, I know you said you are leasing but are you able to go down to the least amount of gigs possible and try not to use it? Is it an absolute necessity to have internet?  

Answer 8

Daycare is killing you. How many kids do you have? How old are they? Do you have some family that can help watch your kids if you could get a couple of months without dare care you should be able to knock out all those other bills. For now though you have to get a second job or a side hustle cause you need more income period.  

Comments

@pushcart 2 kids. 3yr old & 18mo old. I unfortunately do not have family that can watch them full time. That is the reason why they are in daycare.  

---

@humidistat11 oh wow yeah they are young. what about even a couple of days so you can do part time day care?  

---

Can you find someone in their home to watch them? The max ant family pays me is $170/wk for 2 kids. Daycare here isn't the cheapest either. Or is there a reason your husband isn't watching them?  

---

@overthrow188 her husband has medical issues and that’s why he can’t watch the kids.  

---

@pushcart I went back and read.  

---

@overthrow188 okie dokie. Gotcha

Answer 9

Take a deep breath. Huge hugs and you’re in the right place. I’d start by making sure you’re tracking every single dollar. You’ll need to lower what’s going out and increase what’s coming in. You have some great suggestions how in here on some side gigs and selling things around your house. I’d also suggest eating out of your pantry and freezer and fridge as much as you possibly can. Schools around me are offering free lunches and breakfasts to children in the area. Is that something you could pick up to help with groceries? Or food pantries? If you could get your grocery bill down to $300, that might really help. I know it’s not easy.  

Answer 10

Call your credit cards and most if not all are waving payments, late fees and interest for a few months during this crap. Make sure you say your strapped financially due to the corona.  

Answer 11

Mint Mobile has really inexpensive phone plans!  

Answer 12

If your husband has medical conditions, he should apply for disability

Answer 13

Daycare and rent are way too high. However due to your husbands condition, I would look into cheaper housing. It may cost more to move upfront but it would save you money in the long run. Do you really need a 4bd house when you have two babies and you and your husband? You could either rent out extra bedrooms or get a cheaper place. I don’t see where else you could cut.  

Answer 14

Most states have daycare assistance programs. That could seriously help with those costs!  

Comments

@editor not with a $54k salary! In Georgia, I didn’t qualify make $34k years back.  

---

@oppen typically if you have multiple dependents, the thresholds go up. Again, it depends on the state income limits but if she has kids and a disabled husband. she just might qualify!  

---

@editor yes ! I mentioned that in my comment below. Where I am a family of four qualifies even making 65, 000$ a year !  

---

@markus this could save her a huge chunk of money every month.  

---

@editor it would spare her and her family so much. Nobody should be paying equal amounts rent and child care. So unfair

---

@markus wow! I’m surprised you all qualify. In my state (IL) the only help those who make a very small salary. What state are you in?  

Answer 15

Look for like a high school student to watch your kids. My niece is 17 and she’s been watching infants since she was 16. She really good at it. She usually charges $10/hr up to 5hrs. After 5hrs it’s a flat rate of of $85. I’m sure it could be cheaper for you.  

Comments

$85 x 5 days x 4 weeks is $1700 so definitely not cheaper!  

---

@bragi32255 I used to watch 1 kid like 8 hours/day, 5 days a week for like $120 a week. So if you find the right person it could be a lot cheaper.  

---

@balduin it’s not everyday she babysits. It’s usually weekends. Didn’t think about that!  

---

@bauske193 that’s what I’m thinking. Find a stay at home mom who wouldn’t mind watching her kids. I follow a lady on IG who sits for a family with her daughter.  

---

@bragi32255 for sure! It would be awesome if she could find cheaper childcare but realistically she’s not paying much for it already so I doubt she could get it for much less. I‘m home and sometimes help people out with childcare for $30 a day and it’s barely worth it. She’s already paying less than that. I don’t mind doing it occasionally because it helps others out and it’s a bit of spending money for myself but I definitely wouldn’t do it regularly for $30/day. Not worth it. But if she’s able to find something of course that would be awesome.  

Answer 16

There are a few things you could look into depending on your situation to save money: 1. How many phones are on your cellphone plan? My husband and I have an unlimited everything plan through Verizon and are financing our phones with 0% interest with them, and our payment is $182. It’s high but we made room for it in our budget. Depending on how many phones you have on the plan, you may be able to lower your phone bill. 2. Is there a way you could sell the car you have now and either buy a used car in cash or finance a different car with a smaller monthly payment? 3. You may be able to lower your car insurance if you shop around and contact your current provider. I personally make a point to call mine once a year and shop around for the lowest rate.  

Answer 17

I see you spend $300 on medicine. If your husband has a condition could you qualify for Medicaid?  

Answer 18

Speak to your credit union. Especially with corona, they have programs to help with financial assistance. Ours offer skip-a-pays every 3months and could maybe help! Hang in there, girl!  

Answer 19

So I thought I had nothing to sell at my house. I walked around and found all the things we don’t use as well as some of our furniture (mine you it’s cheaper/well used) and have been able to sell off $3k in 2 weeks via offer up. I’ve been really diligent with follow ups and posting. Also look at what you don’t need, even if you love it.  

Comments

Also you’re really worried about things moving to collections, but if you’re unable to pay it all, it’s gonna affect your credit. The bank will not do anything to your car because you didn’t pay their credit card. Both are under contract and independent of one another. I didn’t see a response above, but if husband is disabled, can he watch the kids part time or watch one but the other goes to daycare? Even watching one part time. Also cheaper daycare, might not have as much as you want but the kids will be safe and it’s temporary.  

Answer 20

How would stopping paying your CCs affect your car loan? I'm not familiar with that

Answer 21

If you can’t cut down on expenses than it’s time to bring in extra income. Whether it’s another job, selling any items around the house, babysitting, something to bring it more money. That’s really your only option. I know it’s hard, but it needs to be done. You can’t just not pay your bills ‍♀️ I also read some comments and if your husband is unable to work, why hasn’t he applied for disability? That would help your family out even if it’s only a couple hundred more a month. It’s better than nothing at this point.  

Comments

Also, is husband able to watch the kids so you can cut out daycare? Or maybe look around for somewhere cheaper. Maybe even see if you qualify for daycare assistance. I promise, there IS help out there. You CAN get through this. It won’t be easy though.  

Answer 22

Is finding a different daycare an option? Maybe that cost less ? Also, what cell company do you have ? Usually if you break a lease you just turn in the phone not pay the balance out because it’s like it’s being “rented”

Answer 23

With all of that going on, have you filled for government assistance? Right now they're practically throwing food stamps at people. That would take care of food and daycare. Have you taken advantage of the covid19 hardships with your credit cards, car insurance and finance?  

Comments

Also if you get ebt (food stamps) Comcast has $10 internet.  

Answer 24

Have you attempted to call any of your debt holders& negotiate a lower payoff amount? Considering the pandemic, there may be more options for you at this time.  

Comments

This . you might also be able to add the other debts other than the credit union and extend the length of time your making payments.  

Answer 25

I would call all creditors at this time and explain that you’re struggling right now, and ask for forgiveness during COVID to try to get caught up on absolutely necessary bills to keep a roof over yourself and your families heads. Make sure it won’t effect you negatively somehow (late fee, % increase, etc) Make a payment plan on your current balance with the electric company if that will help to put money towards something more important. Call around and ask EVERY one for car insurance quotes. A friend that works for an insurance company told me when we’ve been with a company a long time we don’t realize the pennies and nickels that they add monthly or quarterly to our insurance and just continue paying monthly without argument. Daycare: income versus household size. Would you qualify for an affordable child care program through your state ? Look into this, you would be surprised. Where I’m at a family of four qualified for assistance making up to 65, 000$ a year. Note: many would say refrain from taking money out from somewhere that may make you owe, and putting it elsewhere. I would too under normal circumstances. I’m not sure where you’re struggling most, but I do know friends and family during this pandemic are struggling and were even before and received some temporarily relief anyways. I know and am fully aware your credit is extremely important but feeding and housing your family is MOST important. If you balance making temporary changes well and keep track I think you can make this work!  

Answer 26

If your husband is unable to work for medical reasons, don’t think about disability, just do it. Any little bit will help in your situation. Also I would look for something part-time/WFH for you, as well, just to get you back on your feet. Call credit card companies and see if they can waive your payments due to Covid-19. Call all of your accounts, honestly. You have options, take a deep breath.  

Answer 27

It’s not a lot but check out get upside for gas! It gives you money back on each gallon of gas! Try to sell things - I’ve had a great experience with Mercari, (plus you can do it all from home). Even if it’s just a couple hundred like someone else said you can pay off those small balances and free up that money. Also I would really consider another income - can your husband drive at all?  

Comments

What kind of skills do both you have? What about mowing the neighbors lawn, cleaning homes, dog walking, just trying to think outside the box

Answer 28

I am so sorry you're going through this. No judgment. Just a few ideas, with COVID happening maybe try calling all utility companies, rent, car loan and car insurance companies to see if they're offering any forgiveness? Also I would lessen food budget if possible. I checked Pinterest a while back and found some great bulk recipes for inexpensive. Or purchasing off brand options and try the ibotta app to get gift cards on future purchases

Answer 29

I know this isn't advised but would help in an emergency. If you have any credit on your loc, take it out and then payoff a credit card. Everytime you make a payment on the loc take out the available money. It's not ideal and just moving debt around, but usually loc have lower interest rates. My best friend did this for a couple months when her child support stopped suddenly.  

Answer 30

You say one income home, but are paying for daycare. do you have a partner? what are they doing? can they work and/or watch the kids?  

Comments

@cosmorama0 that was my question also. That would save a good chunk of money.  

---

@cosmorama0 she has a husband but due to medical issues he can’t work or watch the kids

---

@cosmorama0 this happens all the time. my situation isn’t too different from hers.  

---

@gingerly Long i understand, i wasn’t passing judgement, just trying to figure out where money was going.  

---

@cosmorama0 would her husband qualify for disability then and they can apply for benefits for reduced daycare since he is physically unable to work or watch the kids?  

---

@nitaniter also curious, i would hope this avenue has been considered  

---

@nitaniter we haven’t filed for disability yet and my income is to high to qualify for assistance.  

Answer 31

Scrimp and save and pay off the 2 smallest credit cards to eliminate 2 bills so you have a little footing and then keep working to pay them off one at a time. You'll get there slowly but surely, one at a time!  

Answer 32

I feel ya! We're a one income family of 5 (will be 6 in September ) living on about 53k/year. I've been struggling with this also. We used our tax return/stimulus checks to pay off a credit card and our auto loan so that has taken our monthly payments down. Our rent is 1200/mo. No daycare thankfully so it gives us a little wiggle room. Not much, but even if its $20 after everything is paid, then I consider that a win. We live very frugally. I coupon, shop and make meal plans based on weekly circulars. We don't have any extra bills other than basic living expenses, ie. Rent utilities phone. Our "extras" are Hulu and disney+. We live in Idaho and don't qualify for assistance, but maybe you could look into that? Even the smallest amt of medical, food, or cash assistance could help. Other than that, I'd just start calling around and pricing out different daycares, phone plans, whatever you can to bring the monthly costs down. Try selling extra household things you don't need or use anymore. It's amazing how easily it is to sell things, and put all that money towards extra monthly debt payments. I know where you're at right now, its so hard to pay everything you want to. Just take things day by day. You'll get there!  

Comments

@innerve Nelson we do not qualify for assistance either.  

---

@humidistat11 Im sorry, I know how frustrating that is  

Answer 33

How many kiddos do you have and what kind of daycare are they in now?  

Comments

@cosmorama0 2 kids. 3yr old & 18mo old. They are at a in home daycare. I don’t think I will move daycares. Our daycare lady is like family. I pay $500 every 2weeks but some weeks it’s $750 because there’s a extra week. I set aside $50 extra each paycheck so when I have to make a $750 payment I have put aside already.  

Answer 34

Can you apply for any state assistance for daycare? Is there anyone else that can help watch them I saw you said you don't qualify. :(

Answer 35

Not ideal, but could you sell your car and buy something with no loan needed?  

Comments

@wet709 I’m pretty sure I’m upside down on my loan. I haven’t looked into buying a cheaper car

Answer 36

I would definitely call in on any expense too see if you can work out a payment plan or any discount due to covid. Go basic to basics on groceries, shop your panty first and create a meal plan. Also who is your cell phone provider? Do you currently owe any money on devices? You might be able to switch carriers or to a different plan for a lower rate.  

Comments

@suburbanite5 sprint. Yes we lease our phones.  

Answer 37

My spouse is disabled also and we are one income. i work 2 jobs to bring in similar to your income. i understand that things like childcare, disability, and healthcare are complex topics. ❤️

Answer 38

I read your husband has health issues and I’m so sorry you all are dealing with that. I would give him a list of things he can help with while you work- example might be to call around your area- we have resources for those who are disabled- not even monetary wise but just resources for helping navigate anything you may need- such as ways he can earn $$, whether or not he would qualify for disability, who might be able to help with medicine costs since you don’t qualify for typical resources, etc. Also maybe he can be in charge of having dinner prepped (when possible) so whenever you get home you can feed the kids and get them down and that way if you could find an online gig for $10 or so an hour you could bring in extra cash in the evenings not doing the typical house stuff? Thinking he washed laundry during the day- things that can be done at his own pace but still lighten your burden so you are free to do income earning things. Rat race rebellion has some ideas for work from home. Another option is have husband take surveys on his phone all day, not fast earning by any means but I could make $25 a week between different survey sites answering them while nursing my twins last year. Every bit helps, you can do this. Ask around everywhere and see what help is available and take all the help you can get, no shame. there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!  

Answer 39

Call the companies due to the current situation there giving some slack .  

Answer 40

What industry do you work in? i’d be happy to connect over PM if you want. dealing with a disabled spouse and young kids is one of the hardest things someone can go through.  

Answer 41

Can you apply for state assistance to help with daycare? Can you apply for foods tamps while you get yourself and expenses situated?  

Answer 42

Sell your car and buy a car with either a lower payment or with cash that way you can eliminate a payment. Use coupons for your food. Try to get your cellphones, rent and internet lower. Also you may be able to lower your gas expense if you get a different vehicle.  

Comments

@suburbanite5 Caron I think I’m upside on my car. I don’t have any savings to buy a used car & pay for the difference on my loan  but I may go to CarMax to see what they would give me

---

This is going to be so hard for you but you can do this. I was in your position a couple of years ago and we were finally able to pull through.  

Answer 43

I saw that you’ve posted previously about supporting your husband’s new photography business. It’s going to sound harsh, but at this point one of two things needs to happen. 1) he watches the kids and you stop paying for daycare 2) your husband picks up a part time job doing anything, literally anything! I can appreciate supporting your husband and his business, but you’re a team and he should be helping to support the family too. My husband is in school and so I’m the primary breadwinner, but my husband works a job he HATES 3 days a week to help with our finances.  

Comments

I agree. I get that this can be complicated, but not having to pay child care even for 6 months and then stringently budgeting and working on the problem would make all the difference. If he is disabled and unable to work, that is one thing. But if he is trying to follow his dream while you are carrying all the weight that is another. But I have to say that your debt isn’t as bad you feel like it is. just one adjustment somewhere could make all the difference. ❤️

---

@avocation609 her husband is disabled and can’t watch the kids alone or work outside the home.  

---

@hitchcock oh someone said he was starting a photography business.  

---

@rosario in a previous post the OP stated they used their tax return to buy him equipment to support his budding photography business

Answer 44

Four walls. Rent food car utilities. And then pick and choose what to pay. Start there. Everything is else doesn’t matter when you are this tight. Pay what will make you safe and fed. Then sit down with each debt and see what you can and should pay. I would put a hundred dollars in an envelope first and then start paying debt. If some don’t get paid right now, that’s okay. Sometimes you have to dig out so you can live and worry about that debt later. But you have to start saving something.  

Comments

@tybi like save $100 first off and then worry about everything else?  

---

@humidistat11 yes. Pay what you need to stay safe and then save money for you. You need to create a cushion between you and the danger. Then start paying debt in order of importance. When I started I didn’t pay cards for 60 days. Yes I knew it would hurt me but my husband was out of work from an injury I had to give myself breathing room. My credit took a hit yes. But it was temporary. The next month I paid two late payments to catch up but by then I was also okay with 400. 00 in the bank in case of emergency. It helps you breathe and take some stress off. Then you start tackling the debt. It’s how I did it and a year later I am debt free from everything except a minor card 400. 00. And I won’t pay it all off right now because of circumstances. I pay double minimum. There is a way out. The biggest thing is to get some money so you can no incur more debt as you go.  

---

@tybi ok I understand.  

---

@humidistat11 what I would do first is sit down and sort it all out. Pay your rent, your utilities, get grocery money together. And not just minimum. If you normally budget 300 do 500 this month. That way you have breathing room there too. Get lots of pastas and canned veggies and fruits. Cake mixes and such. So that you feel like you are eating well at each meal. It really really matters when you are struggling. Food spending and the worry about it makes it all seem so dire and causes mistakes and panic. If you can make it so you can put your head on the pillow every night and know that you know that your family has a place to stay, enough food to eat, money for medicine and something to drive if you need to go out with gas in it, and electric. It starts to change the mind. It makes you feel safer and it is easier than to tackle what’s ahead

Answer 45

Is there any other option to lower your medicine? That looks to be the only place where you’re paying a lot more than bare minimum. Have you asked your doctor about generic or less expensive alternatives? Or asked about discount pharmacy cards? Just a thought.  

Comments

@palladic oh yeah good ideas! Also google the manufacturer of the medications sometimes they have programs for meds. I work for a nonprofit and we give money for meds. I tell people that all the time

---

@pushcart yes! Great idea to contact the manufacturers. I know sometimes they’ll give coupons and such too! Especially if there is not a generic available.  

---

@palladic sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. sometimes there are discounts. sometimes they aren’t available. my spouse takes multiple medications that are $300, $700, per month, *with* a discount card/GoodRX. so then it depends on your insurance situation.  

---

@gingerly Long yeah. It’s always worth looking into!  

---

@palladic yep. just my own personal experience, i get really frustrated when people ask my family if we have heard of manufacturer coupons or goodrx. yes, yes we have.  

Answer 46

Do you work from home? If not, internet isn't necessary. We have no internet and no cable tv and spend quality time together instead of our devices.  

Answer 47

Have you looked into any pharmacy programs that offer discounts for the medications that are taken?  

Answer 48

Download the GoodRX app. it brings down medicine bills by a pretty decent amount depending what pharmacies you have. And almost all states are offering extra assistance rn for childcare payments esp with essential workers

Answer 49

Have you tried applying for daycare assistance programs? That would free up a lot of money for you and it helped us as well. Also, I know with kids it is hard but there are some extra side hustles you could work to make some extra money to help.  

Comments

We have been where you’re at when we started, I know it is super overwhelming, but you can do this! Its hard, but when you overcome this you will be so strong, just one step at a time! ❤️

Answer 50

Call the cell phone company and talk to the hardship department. They should at least apply a discount to your monthly bill.  

Answer 51

I’ve seen you post before about your husband not being able to work, but why is he not able to watch your children again? Saving $1100 just for 6 months would help your situation TREMENDOUSLY. That would give you $6600 and you could pay off all the “other debt” AND build up your emergency fund. I did this last year when my mom wasn’t working due to her doing chemotherapy treatments. I talked to my daycare provider and they saved a spot for my son and completely understood my situation. He went back after I was able to save some $$ and get back on track. If you’re not able to cut out any expenses then you need to add income. So, that’s either your husband applying for disability or you getting a second job. I worked two jobs for several years as a single mom.  

Comments

For 1100 I'd hire a teenager to come over and dad and teen can watch the kids

---

@humidistat11 your kids are young/small. You could make the living room your room and the bedroom the kids room. If you really want to get out of this hole, then you’re gonna have to make sacrifices. That’s just the truth. Even TBM lived in a tiny apt with her son and bf bc it was affordable and it allowed her to pay off debt & save! She even started her business in that tiny apt! Also, someone mentioned cancelling Internet unless you are working from home which is also a good idea. $60/month may not seem like a lot but that could be a week’s worth of groceries! But we can give you all the advice in the world, YOU are the one who has to do the hard work and make it happen! You can do it! Just have to get out of what you think “normal” is and set your mind to it.  

---

@humidistat11 what’s your bring home each month?  

---

@revere I PMed you on fb

---

@gingerly Long I’m currently going through this. I applied for myself in 2018 and we are still working at it. Such an incredibly complex process. especially if you are under 55 (according to my attorney)

Answer 52

Why can’t your husband watch your kids

Comments

@intermittent he is disabled.  

Answer 53

How old are your kids? Can they be put into learning programs versus daycare? Shop cell phone plans. The medicine sometimes you can get a coupon for from the manufacturer. My sons vimpat is 60 after insurance and I use a coupon that brings it to 20. Food you can always skimp on if you freeze leftover meats and reg leftovers. Is you debt consolidation not all of these cards?  

Comments

@hum 2 kids. 3&18mos. The debt consolidation payment is debt that’s not listed below. That’s additional debt.  

---

@humidistat11 oh okay. If your husband can even watch the kids half the time that would free up daycare. I understand they are small and take a lot of work. I would try to find a stay at home mom that needed extra cash that you could trust to watch them cheaper the other half. The three year old you maybe able to enroll in an educational program to take up some of the time. Personally I’d cancel all my cards and come to a payment arrangement with them. You can fix your credit later but right now the focus has to be on living. Sell anything you can and apply towards these debts and a savings. Your husband should be able to clip coupons and do rebate apps like Ibotta and fetch if he can photograph. This really has to be a team effort. Right now most schools have free lunches for kids 1-18 so I would definitely pick up the lunch bc it does help. Also donate plasma if you guys can.  

Answer 54

I know you said the medicine budget is nonnegotiable, but if this is for prescriptions, have you used the GoodRX app? This app offers manufacturer's cupons for prescriptions AND it can be used with your insurance. One of my mom's lotions that the dermatologist prescribed her dropped from over $300 to less than $25 with the app.  

Comments

@interchange she probably knows most of this.  

---

@interchange I will agree with this. My husband has ms. His meds are 1500 a month. We have a program with the company. They pay everything but the copay and our insurance pays that. We are not in poverty income either. They told us when we applied that people making 150000 a year are on it because it cost over 15000 a year to pay for it. Asking never hurts. Sometimes you have to call every manufacturer.  

---

@gingerly Long I'm not here to assume what she knows and doesn't know. I'm here to offer advice, which she asked for. GoodRX is amazing and hopefully it will help her save money and will help her get out of debt. :)

---

@gingerly Long she’s on here asking for advice and you are arguing with everyone giving it to her. I didn’t know about Good RX until last year and even then didn’t know if I could use it with my existing insurance. Don’t assume what people do and don’t know. Kindness goes a long way.  

---

@interchange samw thing happened to my husband with one of his diabetes medications. Went from $175 to like $20 I believe.  

---

@gingerly Long she wouldn't have come on here if she "knows most of it". I certainly hadn't heard of this app. maybe instead of making assumption you could make a positive contribution to the thread? ‍♀️

---

@coxa4354 sorry, it’s kind of a holdover from when people were advising me on this once. you’re right, maybe it will help her. ‍♀️

Answer 55

How about moving to a smaller place

Answer 56

1. Get ball rolling ondisability. This is imperative. And If something ever happened to your hubby your kids would collect a percentage . 2. I saw you worked for in laws. Your taxable income is too high . Look into allocating money into dependent care ( to pay for kids daycare ) and either FSA or hsa depending on if you have a hdhp. These will take a huge amount off of your taxable income come tax time and may even move you into snap/wic territory

Comments

@mt4305 your kids will actually get a percentage (family benefit) if he is approved for ssdi. it’s 50-80% of his total monthly benefit. they can collect this while he is living.  

---

I never knew that !  

---

@mt4305 me either. my spouse was just approved for ssdi last week after a 3 year process.  

---

@mt4305 it’s only for ssdi, not ssi.  

Answer 57

I am not judging by any means, but if your husband is starting a business from home without bringing in a current income, then he needs to care for the children while you are at work to reduce child care expenses.  

Comments

@lavender she said he has a medical condition where he passes out so can’t watch them by himself

Answer 58

If you are a one income family, why are you paying daycare?  

Comments

@gingerly Campbell DH can’t safely watch the children because of health issues.  

---

Has he applied for disability then

Answer 59

Our credit union automatically waived our car payment for May. Give them a call.  

Answer 60

Could family watch the kids while you get a second job? I don’t think it’s necessary forever but with your balances 4K frees up over $200 a month in payments.  

Comments

@daub1 side hustle will help even a little - there are at home or some late options so you don’t have to be away from kids. Been here - recognizing is your first positive step- call everyone and ask for help. See if your landlord will reduce your rent 100 bucks. Cell phones, water, gas, electric and insurance even cable call see what you get there and then call all your cards and car loan. You are not the first person here and you won’t be the last- in the current environment you will likely get lots of help! Let us know ! You got this!  

Answer 61

Are you able to carpool to work? That will cut car gas down a lot. Try to make meals out of what you already have, and meal plan every week. Are you able to refinance your car for a lower rate? And shop around for car insurance. You could possibly save there! I know you’re doing the best you can. No judgement here. I think it just takes a couple second opinions and creative thinking to help you see where you may be able to save. Best of luck!  

Answer 62

Good rx for script and if this is with insurance ask the non insurance price Cut cell phone to cricket or someone cheaper we use tmobile and save 140 a month from what old bill was And beans and rice  girl beans and rice we've all been there for the grocery budget Also if your not on assisted daycare maybe try that no shame just do the best you can for your fam

Answer 63

Ok, I did not read all of these comments so apologies if I’m being redundant. First, judgement free zone. ❤️ Do what you can do. We’re here for you. Second, when prioritizing what debts to pay, I would always choose to pay secured debt first. If you don’t pay a credit card, yeah, it tanks your credit, but there’s nothing they can come take from you. Good luck.  

Answer 64

What about selling the car and buying an older one outright?  

Comments

@prescriptible16095 I’m upside down on my loan.  

Answer 65

Call your credit card companies, see if they will reduce the amount owed at a one payoff price! I did it before it went to collections, and it helped! See if your car payment can be waived for a month. Use that money to pay off one of those small credit cards. While talking to credit union, you can see if you can add to your car loan, and use that money to pay off small CC. I know it's not the best option, but when I didnt have enough to cover my monthly expenses, then it helped. It added to what i owed on the car, but it made my payment go up maybe $30. And that was adding 3k onto the loan. Daycare assistance! Huge blessing! In oregon I qualify for family of 3 and right now I know the states income levels have raised to allow more available. Also see if you qualify for food stamps. And wic if the kids have state insurance, they automatically qualify for wic in oregon. Gives me probably $150 in groceries a month!  

Answer 66

This may have been mentioned in someone else's post and if so, I am so sorry. Try working with hubby's doctor to look into Disability for him. I am sure he feels the strain of not being able to help on a steady basis. This could also help the medicine budget. Just a thought.  

Answer 67

Daycare: is it possible to work from home for even 1 day a week? This light let you save some money in daycare. Electric - any way to cut back on electric used to bring bill down ie make sure all lights are never left on in unoccupied rooms. Limit electrical appliance use? Internet - any wiggle room here or do you really need it if you have your cell phone internet? Food - are you able to cut food budget by £50 per month? This would let you pay off target in 4 months and free up some more cash. Cellphone - can you downgrade package without penalty? Other than that sell anything you don’t need at home. Perhaps your husband can take care of this aide of things? Good luck

Answer 68

See if you can refi your car. See what all you can sell around your house on fb marketplace for cheap. You would be suprised at what you don't need and it becomes addicting to purge and watch those $5 bills add up. Call your utilities and get on low income assistance. Sometimes they dont even ask questions. Sometimes they do a flat rate. Call all your creditors and ask what they can do. Be kind, be persistent, ask for managers. Explain your situation. Be frugal. Eat at home. Be strict. Imagine that everything is a luxury to withdrawl from. Eliminate cable tv. Reduce your internet bill just by calling and asking for a discount.  

Answer 69

What’s included in the $100 utilities? I saw you listed gas and electric separate. Could you to go a food bank to get some food to cut down the food budget? Perhaps a second job if you have family that can watch the kids? Sell everything you can.  

Comments

@heritor72247 $100 is water, sewer, trash, emsa, etc

---

@humidistat11 ah gotcha. Honestly when we were in a bad spot I literally sold everything that I could. If we didn’t use it at least once a week I sold it. We had about $1000 worth of junk just around the house doing nothing. Clothes, toys, random stuff.  

---

@heritor72247 I understand that. I have any entire wardrobe I don’t wear. I need to get stuff listed!  

---

@humidistat11 is that something your hubby can start to do? Not being judgmental at all. I’m disabled and honestly, being able to list and sell on eBay etc gives me purpose and a sense of providing in some small way. We are in a similar financial position, so I completely understand your frustrations. I will also echo, have hubby start the disability process. It takes time!  

Answer 70

I'd look into help or other options for day care because it's such a high monthly cost. Maybe you could talk with a social worker to help you find resources. (Or start with your kids pediatrician and they can help you find a social worker). Good luck! I hope it gets better!  

Answer 71

I am a preschool director so the only thing I feel qualified to help in is daycare lol— have you checked with your state DHR on free/reduced daycare? If you qualify, the state will pay your entire daycare fee (or a part of it) and you’ll only have to pay things like summer fun fees, etc.  

Answer 72

It looks like you have gotten really good advice and lots of loving words. I’m going to add that you NEED to figure something out. When you’re upside down in bills it just doesn’t get better without REAL sacrifices. If it’s just four of you and two are littles then you CAN cut groceries to $50 a week. Buy whole cuts of meat, chicken thighs (they are cheap), ham goes on sale a lot, pork butt roasts ( if they are boneless you can slice them into steaks). Large bags of flour and learn to make desserts, bread, etc. it takes work and planning but it will help immensely. But GET RIGHTSIDE UP. Or you will be in this situation for way more years than you want. If you want help with recipes that are easy I would help anytime. Also, if you have alternatives to childcare, family, teens, etc, it would save a LOT. I have been there and it is terrible, ever month robbing Peter to pay Paul and always deciding which bill NOT to pay. It’s stressful and exhausting

Answer 73

Part time job? Ups offers part timers free health insurance. The coverage for medicine is amazing. 90day mail order is free! If you pick up at a pharmacy it's no more than 5. 00 for name brand .  

Answer 74

Have you looked into childcare assistance?  

Answer 75

You’re getting a lot of good advice. And this is a great community to help you out. Also, check into food pantries and Co-ops. Right now our local co-op is serving 500 families/week (up from 150 pre covid). It can help cut your grocery bill. See if local schools are giving out free meals to kids. I know sting here they don’t check to see if you are in need or even if you go to school. Do you have any friends how might be able to take the kids a couple of half days right now & then you can pay them back with free childcare in the future (like for a weekend, etc. ). It’s a great time to check into college & high school students to watch the kids as well. You mention you work for your in-laws, is there no way you could take the kids into work with you? (I’m not sure what you do) at least temporarily. I don’t know how comfortable you are with then knowing about your financial situation. But you might be able to find a way to convince them to let you do it or see if they’ll take the kids on weekends for you to do a second job? I don’t know if any of that would work, I’m just trying to think of different ideas. This is the time to get creative and it is a time to get a bit uncomfortable. Hubby should be able to go through the house and help with the selling of stuff and cutting coupons. He can also research more affordable rates for insurance, Internet, etc. it doesn’t sound like his disability would keep him from that. Keep trying for assistance-right now more ‘qualifications’ are being waived, so not is not the time to give up.  

Answer 76

Grubhub and uber eats would change your budget. At $100 a night you could get rid of all those smaller debts. I've been exactly where you are. I'm so sorry!  

Comments

Also shipt, doordash, and Instacart. Any of those delivery places where you can work on your own schedule. Just make sure your car insurance allows it. You may have to add a “rider” to the plan but it only adds a few dollars a month and you can make that up in one delivery. You could work 1-2 hours one night a week and make up what you are short.  

Answer 77

Look into Republic Wireless for phone company. I'm switching to them and going from paying $50 a month (which yes is already low, Metro PCS) to only $20 a month. If they cover your area it would be a drastic cut for you.  

Answer 78

What about "renting" out the 4th bedroom for a live in nanny situation? Advertise for a room plus something small like $500 a month in pay. That way they can live rent free and still have $500 a month. Don't include food unless you can cut your food budget down with meal prepping. Look for college kids or an older person. You'll save on daycare costs and your husband will be home to put you at ease with having someone else in the home.  

Comments

@tsuda oooo this is good!  

---

@pushcart I surprised myself with this idea lol

---

@tsuda  

---

@tsuda renting out 4th bedroom is a great idea. I’ve also heard that a good place to look for young people and college aged kids who need a place to stay would be at a church. I’m not LDS, but many of my LDS friends say that the church is always looking to help young adults with babysitting type jobs and housing. Maybe you could even rent to another mom who is also watching her own little one?  

---

@tannatannage That's good too! I didn't think of looking at the churches.  

Answer 79

You got this! If I were in your place, I would: - Switch to a new cell company. We have Cricket; 4 lines, $100. - Get creative with that food budget. I’d cut it by $50 to $75 off the top and breakout the crockpot, air fryer and the like. Or take advantage of neighborhood food pantries to supplement the cut in budget. - see if you can qualify for utility help through Red Cross or OCAP (Organized Community Action Program). You’re income is high, so that probably won’t work, but it’s worth a call. - Lastly, try negotiating or shopping your med costs. I have private insurance but GoodRx has saved me a bunch. Also, I got prescribed an inhaler that was $300. Told pharmacist I couldn’t afford it; they found a manufacturer coupon, and I got it for free! Good luck!  

Answer 80

Oh man. I've been in this similar situation where I made just too much to qualify for assistance, but not enough to pay everything.  It's a sucky situation. My suggestion: try for WIC if your kids are young enough, or use the food bank to cut down food expenses. Learn to cook inexpensively (beans, rice, etc) when we were in this situation I tried to keep our grocery bill to about $150/mo for our family of 4. It meant buying no meat or veggies that are over $2/lb. Bartering for things you need, using (if you have one) a buy nothing group to ask for things you need/want/etc. It forced me to be very creative. I would also talk to the cell phone people & see if they will work with you. Our cell phone bill usually runs around $70/mo for 2 lines.  

Answer 81

This is an amazing group and this is why I love it. @humidistat11 I hope you find the help you need and I don’t doubt for a moment that you will come out of this strong and tall. You got this and you have many to cheer you on.  

Answer 82

So many people have suggested great things! Thankfully you do have options here! He needs to file for disability ASAP! My dad has many health problems, it was a long process but he got on it and also got a credit for my bother (when this happened I was over 18. ) It was a huge help. Obviously since you work for your in-laws they know their sons condition. I’m not sure what you do, but are you able to work from home at least 2 days a week? Save on daycare? Can you take the 18 month old with you to work for a couple days? Have a play section set up? Letting them know it won’t be forever but you need time to get back on track. Also if you talk to them maybe the grandma will offer to watch a couple days for you? It’s their son, and grandchild I would hope they would be willing and wanting to help as much as possible! I know it’s not all ideal, but with everyone’s ideas you can definitely figure something out that works for awhile. Just try to remember it’s not permanent!  You’re doing great mama!  

Answer 83

Catherine, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Small kids, possibly disabled husband. (Have they found the cause of his blackouts? Are they heart/blood pressure related? Seizures? Autonomic immune system response failure? I ask because I too suffer from blackouts and the DX has been a long road. ) I definitely suggest that he apply for disability, now. Like tomorrow! With the help of the physicians he’s working with. Also, get a lawyer (they will not charge you until the case is completed and then they can only take a % based on a sliding scale and then there is a total cap they may not go beyond). It will be a long process and depending on his age, and medical history he will certainly be turned down until he’s sitting in front of a judge. It’s better to start the process now - build the case now. Not later. I speak from experience. Along with GoodRX, if the medications are expensive, and not generic - get in touch with the manufacture and they can generally have a financial plan to help cover the cost. They want people on their medications for better efficacy results that can be marketed. Use it to your advantage. Have hubs look into it . You’ve got a lot of great suggestions here. The idea of a “mother’s helper” coming during the day to help while dad is home with the kids is a solid suggestion. I know it can be tough from personal experience. I have twin boys & when my blackouts started they were 2. 5yrs old. I stopped going to work and my then nanny became my “helper”. It’s daunting, but it can be done. Breathe. You’ve got this!  

Answer 84

Do they give assistance to help with day care where you are located? Here in California they have assistance for income qualified parents. Maybe you can check?  

Answer 85

Can you lower your rent and your cell phone can you lower that by switching maybe bundling with internet/cable?  

Answer 86

I would call best buy Target and QVC to see if they can freeze your account for a month or 2

Answer 87

For the medicine budget check different pharmacies on pricing. I found a $25 diff from shop rite to Walmart.  

Comments

@dunkirk not every med comes from the pharmacy.  

---

@gingerly Long if it is over the counter you should be able to shop for better prices as well.  

---

@dunkirk there are also coupons for medicine, i had no idea about them our pharmacist told us about them, the pills we were going to purchase were 75 at Walgreens, with the app. We found the same drug at fred meyers for 7. 50 i will as my husband what the app with coupons is if you like

---

@sot22288 Kinney I have tried Good Rx. There prices were good. Also Walmart has good prices and some are free as well

---

@dunkirk great to know

Answer 88

Hi. I am so sorry that you are in this stressful situation. First, this situation will get better. You can do this! I will base my answer on the information I see. Your income looks great for my area, and your food bill is wonderful. If I were in your situation I would work on the rent and daycare. Could you find a cheaper place to rent, even if you had to pile in one room? Could you live with family? Could you ask a family member or friend to help with daycare, even if it would only save you $100-200? Do you have a support system in place? A friend or family member that can encourage you?  

Answer 89

So sorry you’re going through a tough time. If I’m understanding correctly, you’re only short $109 total?  

Answer 90

We were struggling with our cellphone bill because we lease our phones. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Wing as a cellphone provider. They use AT&T towers. I was able to port over all 4 of my phone numbers drop my cellphone bill from almost 400 per month down to 180. They took over my cellphone leases and broke the remaining owed(over $600 total left) down to be paid over 24 months so it significantly lowered my bill by taking my lease payments down from 25 per line to like 8 per line. And they are so flexible with their plans. It was truly a life saver for me.  

Comments

@jester I will look Into this!  

Answer 91

Catherine, message me about the medication, I may can help get that cost down.  

Answer 92

Charles Sinclair u.  

Answer 93

Daycare is expensive so I feel you on that expense. We saved by finding a daycare at a church, it’s licensed and great and less than name brand, chain type daycares. Could a family member help a few days, or even a few hours? We had an aunt watch two days per week, or grandma pick up at 3 during summers so we weren’t paying full day.  

Answer 94

OK, so I personally would do this - if you can manage it. If there is a way to delay a rent payment, or defer one month - you could take that rent payment and knock out 2 credit cards (best buy and one other), which would then potentially make it easier to pay what you owe, and potentially start snowballing. If you could find a cheaper pay by the month phone plan, you could potentially save $100 a month, as well. Groceries are hard - but you could make an effort to trim $25 off each week, and that is another $100. Good luck :)

Answer 95

About cell phones. I have Comcast as my internet provider which then gives me access to their cell phone service. You only pay for data. That’s it. Unlimited is 45. 00. I have that for my sons phone who uses it all day long and for school. My other son and I share 10 his for 60. 00. So I’m all in at 105 for three phones. You can share that data with three phones if you like spending only 60. 00 for three phones. Their service is great and I have better reception and coverage than I did with Verizon because it also uses their WiFi signals when you are out. Look into better option I would stay away straight talk or anything like that. You actually pay more than one of these kinds of plans.  

Answer 96

I would not delay rent. Not one day. Keep your house safe and intact. If you can pay that it comes first. Don’t worry about the debt that doesn’t not help you live day to day. Start with four walls and move out

Answer 97

Talk to your hubs drs and your pharmacist! You may have done this but if not both of them may be able to help with the cost of meds. Drs usually have samples of meds that they give away. let your self know you’re struggling and they may be able to give you a mouth for maybe a month or two and that would help you catch up. also pharmacist are usually really knowledgeable regarding coupons or copay assistance with the different manufacturers. If you could even get relief on 2 months of meds that could pay off one of your small debts and free up some so you could breath! I am praying for you and your family sweetie!  

Answer 98

Are you a single parent? If not why does your child go to daycare? You could save that money every month by keeping your child home! Just a thought. I wish you the best and hope you can figure out your financial future!  

Comments

@pang Francis Kliphuis i’m sure she has thought of this. her spouse is disabled and can’t supervise.  

---

@pang Francis Kliphuis I’m not sure this is helpful. Daycare is for many reasons.  

---

@tybi for some families it can be avoided working different shifts or one parent being home, I didn’t know however that her spouse was disabled.  

Answer 99

There is an APP called GoodRX from $15 dollars medications using that APP discount cost me only $4 dollars now. Is a really good APP