Question

I’m not sure if this has already been shared, but I felt it’s important for all of us to always assume innocence. I have a friend who is a single mom and got judged for bringing her daughter to the grocery store to get essentials. We all don’t have support or families to help, and since we can’t use babysitters or ask family to watch our kids, remember to not judge everyone as you’re not in their shoes. “I've seen alot of nasty posts in regards to people making "non-essential" trips. Do you ever think maybe that guy buying a gallon of paint knows he must keep busy because idle hands in the past has caused him to relapse and pick up that case of beer? So he's using this time to do home improvements, something that keeps his mind busy while feeling a sense of accomplishment, trying to avoid painful triggers while possibly alone? Or maybe that lady buying bags of soil and seeds, hasn't struggled with depression and suicide? How do you know that planting and watching something beautiful grow during this time of darkness, isn't essential to her and holding on to what little hope she might still have. We need to remember that it is impossible to know just by looking at a situation from "our" small lens what someone is truly going through or where their mental health is at. Everyone handles chaos and healing through different means, and I know we are all on edge but please stop being so judgmental of others. #mentalhealthisnumberone” Copied from a friend

Answer 1

Oh my gosh, thank you! Someone in another group yelled at me because I said it was acceptable to grab a coloring book while at Walmart for essential supplies. Sorry, grabbing the coloring book did not put anyone at any more risk than me grabbing the bananas. People have lost all common sense.  

Answer 2

Thank you for posting this.  

Answer 3

The only posts I've seen that seem to address parents with kids is those who have seen entire families out shopping. Meaning two adults with the kids. At the very least the second adult could stay in the car with the kids. But of course, no one knows anyone else's' situation. I think the most concerning thing here is that Des Plaines has the second-highest number of cases in the Cook County burbs, just behind Glenview (and closing in fast). So clearly people in DP aren't getting the hint. This is why people are freaked out and reacting so strongly.  

Answer 4

Absolutely. I think most folks are annoyed by entire famlies (mom dad and 2 kids at the store) someone needs to stay home or in the car

Answer 5

I agree, this isn’t directed at people with families and multiple adults and kids going into the stores. Only those who have to take their kids in, should be.  

Answer 6

Also people can ask if someone else is already going from their hood and say hey can you grab x while there as well vs me going for paint, you going for soil, him going for screws. We need to start thinking smart and reducing transmission points. Obviously life has to go on in some form but how do you minimize the problems

Answer 7

And man do I feel for all of you who are single parents right now to be clear. I grew up as a only child of a single mom and can't imagine her or me trying to cope with all of this back then. Hats off to all of you

Answer 8

Thank you for this-I am a single Mom and sometimes the judgment on these posts of taking my child to a store reminds me that we live in a world where criticism is higher on radar than understanding and empathy. I’ve come to work through that unless they are asking me how they can help, opinions mean very minimal. My daughter needs milk and essential items and if I leave her behind, I am sure I will be deemed as an unfit mother of a 2 year old. Therefore, she goes where I go. I am grateful for her daycare even being open as I too am an essential worker and my income is crucial to us being able to survive. I get it, is it scary-ABSOLUTELY. Do I have to push through the fear and do it anyways? ABSOLUTELY. We take EVERY precaution as best as we can to not be out during “busy” times, or if I am able to curbside pick up, yes I am in. Can I do it before I pick her? Yes I will try and do for the most part. Instead of posting about it, I would encourage people to ask, do you need help? Can I help you find something faster and bring it to you? Kindness goes a LONG way

Comments

@imbue you’re killing it! And I always say, if you’re gonna criticize than be prepared to offer help

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You summed it up perfectly! If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out. Even if it's me going out to get what you need. I'll gladly leave on your porch.  

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@stearne Thank you ❤️

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@jawbreaker31 Thank you ❤️

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@imbue and yes! Let us know how we can help if we can

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Ditto! I'll be making my weekly trip to the grocery store tomorrow morning (wearing a mask and gloves). If I can help, please PM me.  

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Thank YOU so much ladies-Y’all have me crying over here. I appreciate you all.  

Answer 9

Also. remember that the homes with a doctor or nurse is leaving 1 parent with no support and they have to take the kid(s) because their partner is out saving the lives of others so they can be home with their families

Answer 10

This whole thing has shown me, the Fb warriors/judgers are coming out of the woodwork and/or full force. No one knows anyone's back story, but Lord have mercy some people sure are first to make a post and/or stupid comment about everything and everyone around them.  

Answer 11

Finally someone said it! Thank you!  

Answer 12

All this judgment. I saw yesterday at a park a mom yelling at her daughter. She was visibly exhausted, stressed and I felt so sorry for her. People were passing by and giving her "that" look and saying nasty comments. Really, people? We are so fast to judge but we are not in someone's shoes. We don't know the situation. We see just what is in front of our eyes -a parent at a. store with a child, a yelling mother. We don't know what's behind. Let's be more kind and emphatic.  

Answer 13

I saw in another group friends meeting at the grocery store and one goes in to shop and the other watches the kids in the car from their car parked right next to each other. Car running ac or heat on whatever the weather is at the time. I'd be happy to help out that way too if anybody needs it!  

Answer 14

Agreed. And the pick up services are all backed up by a week. We’ve tried to do pick up three times giving ourselves 4 days but we just couldn’t get through to five 6 days.