Question

I would need your advice. I am on a debt payoff journey. I make a decent amount of money but have a lot of debt. My boyfriend just got a job that pays more but he also has debt he needs to cover. We have decided to move in together. We will be renting because we are nowhere financially stable to buy (but in the future it's our plan). I currently rent my parents house but it's not an option because of the distance with my boyfriend work. We have decided in what city we want to live considering both of our job. I have a son (he's 9) and I have him full time. My boyfriend has two kids (girl whos 4 and son whos 2) and he has them every other week. We were considering a 3 or 4 bedroom either house or appartment, depending on what we find. My question is. Do you guys think we should look into 2 bedrooms and put the 3 kids together. That way, we could save a lot of money and payoff our debt faster and start saving for a house. Or would it be too crowded to be 5 in a 2 bedrooms? I know it's ultimatly our decision, but I'm looking for inputs to be able to make a decision.  

Answer 1

My boyfriend and I moved in together with 2 kids each into a small 2 bedroom. We have the kids every other week. It was by no means comfortable, but it served its purpose for us to pay off debt and now we’re moving somewhere bigger. Luckily the kids all get along so on weekends they would “camp” in the living room. Week nights there were bunk beds or we’d put 2 in the bedroom and 2 in the living room depending on bedtime schedules. Personally, I loved it, we saved a lot of money and we found a lot of things to do outside to get us out of the house to where we were only all there for meals or at night. AND, it’s only for half the time. I think you could do it in some place smaller, but it will mean purging some belonging, smaller furniture, and finding more efficient ways to use space. You can do it!  

Comments

@cinchona thank you so much for your input. I was beggining to think I was crazy to consider it. It's nice to hear from someone who made this decision too and manage.  

Answer 2

With your son being older, I think it might be nice for him to have his own room, specially as the others get older. I don't know how long you plan to rent but if you think in 4 years, he will be a teenager and sharing with an 8 year old girl and another 6 year old might be a bit much! Kids only get bigger! Maybe ask your son how he feels about it?  

Comments

@paronymous It would be for 1-2 year max, but I completly understand your point of you. Thank you. I've talkng with my son about the possibility of sharing his room with one or the other. He was okay with it and didn't mind which one it is. If I'm not mistaking, he share a room with two boy at his dad. But yeah, if it was in prevision of 4 years of living like that, I don't think I would consider it

Answer 3

I would look for a 3 bedroom for sure. His kids are young enough to be together but 3 kids in one will be difficult with those ages. Good luck

Answer 4

Legally, you need one bedroom for every two children, at least in my state (I’m not sure if it differs by state. ) I don’t know the situation with the mother, but that’s always something to think about in regards to affecting custody.  

Comments

@odie4 thank you. I'll definitly look into that. I'm in Quebec Canada and don't remember hearing about that law except for foster care family. I'll also talk with my boyfriend because I sure don't want to cause problem with his custody agreement

Answer 5

You can do it if you want but it depends on your children. I have a 15 year old, 13 year old, and 7 year old and they share a room. 5 people in 2 bedroom 1 bathroom small house. Until we can afford to buy a house we will live like this.  

Answer 6

They're young enough that if should be ok especially since it's essentially 4 days a month. Just make sure that you still keep your finances as separate as you can until you marry. No joint accts, no cosigning anything. There's several DR videos on people who have done this and been completely screwed in the end.  

Comments

@braunstein0 I might not have written it correctly, but it's for 1 complete week every other week. So like half the month. And don't worry, there's no plan on joigning everything together. Been there, done that and got screwed. I learned from my mistake

Answer 7

I personally think that your 9 year old would appreciate having his own space. I would put the smaller kids in a room together. Does your son have his own room now?  

Comments

@heartwood at my house he does, but there are only myself, my sister and my son. And we have a lot of rooms At his dad, he share a room with his girlfriends son and his dad son (8 and 3). So he's use to being 3 in a room But he only goes to his dad everyother weekend

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@abrahan I thought you said you had him full time and I took that to mean he didn’t visit his dad. At the present ages, it might be okay to have them in the same room. I would see what the difference is in a 2 versus a 3 and decide from there. Of course, the little ones could also sleep on a sleeper sofa until they get older and by then you guys can get your own home.  

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@heartwood I'm sorry. English is not my main language so I might not have written it right. Here we say full time even taugh he goes to his dad every other weekend (when his dad take him)

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@abrahan no problem. I would decide based on what works better for your budget and that may be a 2 BR and either the little ones use a sleeper sofa or share with your son.  

Answer 8

Differing opinion and it truly is a take it or leave it as I don’t have children: I would be weary of bunking the girl with the older boy even if they were all three together. Either the two younger who are siblings together or the two boys together.  

Answer 9

3 rooms. Space isn’t the problem for me, I have 8 children and we live in a 3 bedroom house. We have a girl room and a boy room and I’m comfortable. I’d look into the issues of legality. I have family who had to separate kids (biological different fathers/shared custody) because of the age difference and them not having both the same parents. I think for the ease of split custody and avoiding any trouble that may come, give the 9 year old a room and the younger two a shared room.  

Comments

@oliy6 okay I'll definitly look into the legal aspect of this idea