Question

Moms, can we talk about toddler  for a sec? We started potty training my almost 2. 5 year old about a month ago. We are doing it at our own pace (so please no judgement about the right or wrong way to do it). Ever since we started she has had trouble pooping. like going 5, 6 days without a poop! Then she is in so much pain. I feel horrible. She eats a ton of fruit, veggies, and fiber already and after talking to her pediatrician we cut down on her milk intake. She told me she today she is scared of the potty which I think is why she is holding it in, because it hurts do much. I don't know what to do anymore. We are on another streak of not "going". Yesterday I gave her miralax and still no movement. Any advice?  

Answer 1

WHAT is she afraid of? Falling in? Getting flushed down? See if you can figure out the what and go from there. Also don't be afraid to give up for a little bit and start again in a few weeks. IT'S OKAY. There's no transcript or grade on this (for EITHER of you)  

Comments

@amative I asked her. She just said the potty so working on getting to the bottom of it. Ya may have to take a break!  

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Also maybe this  

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@amative so funny!  

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@stovepipe81781 I remember in nursing school taking a child development class or maybe it was child psych and for some reason I remember learning that the reason toddlers get skittish about going poop on the toilet is because they feel like they are losing a part of them, something that’s theirs and theirs only. At first they are proud bc of all the accolades but then something switches in their brain & they’re like why are they so happy? Do they want it/ meaning the poop, lol? And sort of like equating poop to sharing or having to give away something that’s a part of them. My son is almost 2 and I think feels that way when I clip his fingernails. He doesn’t freak out bc he’s afraid, he’s pissed that I’m taking something that’s his, and when I pretend to put them back on he’s 100% fine

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@amative this works great! Glad you posted this.  

Answer 2

I think the feeling of it falling out scares them. It took my daughter a little while yo get used to it. Stick with it and she will get more used to the feeling. Good luck!  

Answer 3

My daughter also struggled. Talk to your ped, but out now 7 year old has been on daily Miralax since she was 3.  

Comments

@jory73 I gave miralax to her yesterday. So I can do it again today?  

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@stovepipe81781 my 2 year old was on it daily - now she gets it every 2 days

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@stovepipe81781 I would talk to your ped for dosing, but out daughter takes it every day. We've tried prunes, pears, etc, but Miralax works best for her

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We mix it in water, and she drinks it with her breakfast

Answer 4

Is she still wearing pull ups or diapers or anything? Maybe she’s just not ready yet and would be better off being able to go in her pull up?  

Comments

@yahoo yes still wearing pull ups. It is so weird she did so good at first and loved it but now I feel she is struggling so ya maybe not ready?  

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@stovepipe81781 that would be my guess. Some times kids need to stop and start again.  

Answer 5

Sounds like you're trying all the food/drink stuff to help flush her out. With my daughter, she's obsessed with swimming and I told her that the poop would get to swim, and she loved it. We've also make potty time special (books, drawing, telling stories) when she tries pooping. I've also heard good things about Poo Goes to Pooland (Google it) because it externalizes the issue and they get to help poop go home.  

Comments

@marxismleninism thank you! Yeah we read books, tell stories but she gets so distracted then!  

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@stovepipe81781 Maybe some breathing techniques? There are cards on Amazon called Yoga Pretzels, they're mostly yoga poses (and super cute) but also have some fun breathing tools for kids. I'm sure you could Google them to- whale breath, bunny breath, snake, bee, etc

Answer 6

My son started pooping in the potty on first go but my nephew still asks for diaper when he has to poop. So kids are different. I give my son prunes if he skips a day so that helps him. Also, we used to massage his tummy to help him go at the beginning.  

Answer 7

My daughter had a tough time too. We did rewards we knew she would take to. She would get Oreos for pooping in the potty and if she had a few successful weeks we would let her pick out a toy. After she had success with that she was good but would have a few poop accidents at school. I finally told her nobody likes to clean up her poopy pants so we have to go In the potty and it stuck.  

Comments

@sancha7 thank you! Ya I told her about a reward so she likes the idea!  

Answer 8

Just diaper her when she has to poop. It will come later for sure. All 4 of my kids were like that too. They usually held on until nap time, I’d diaper them and then they would poop immediately.  

Comments

@rebroadcast she has a pull up on so I'm praying she just goes soon!  

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@stovepipe81781 she will. The poop will come a couple months after the peeing. For some reason kids think that toilet is a big thing for poop. Hang in there

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Both my kids refused to poop on the potty for the first few Months of potty training. They would ask for a diaper and I’d put one on, they would poop and we’d go back to undies. Good luck! ’

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Oh, and my first needed Miralax for awhile from holding it too. The doctor said the colon can get stretched from the large amount in there, and then the poop will continue to be large and painful, simply because the body fills that colon before making us feel like we have to go. So you may think about doing the miralax for a few weeks to help shrink the colon, if it’s been awhile.  

Answer 9

My son was the same exact way. He continued to poop in a pull up every time until his 3rd birthday. Then he decided he was ready to be a big boy and never had to wear a pull up again. Maybe she's just still not quite ready.  

Comments

@duomo yeah she just might now be. Thank you!  

Answer 10

My second one was like that; always holding his poop. One day I’ve decided to give him a fiber choice tablet and the rest is history  

Answer 11

We gave daily miralax to keep the poop soft—makes it harder for them to hold it in. Once they go a few times and it’s soft, they will be less afraid of it hurting. You can even show your kid that it’s going into their water cup and explain its magic fairy dust to help make their poop softer lol. My kid had a streak of hard poops and then she didn’t want to poop on potty or diaper because she remembered that it hurts.  

Comments

@dull4474 I didnt realize it was okay to do everyday, that is great news! Do you know if it was just the 2tsp?  

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@stovepipe81781 check with your pediatrician but the dose can be altered. They may want you to do one day at a full dose to get things moving and then decrease it. It’s kind of trial and error because you want it to be enough to soften the poop but not too much that it’s runny.  

Answer 12

My 2. 5 year old tells me it’s hard to poop on the potty. We are also doing the training slow. He pees on the potty whenever I have him sit there, but refuses to poop. He did try once (and was successful) but hasn’t wanted to since. He poops in a pull-up. If I have him in underwear he will poop in that. If you haven’t, maybe tell her it’s ok to poop in her pull-up for now and say we can work on pooping in the potty later. With my older son, it took bribery. He was able to eat a popsicle every time he pooped in the potty. He was scared at first but then loved an early morning popsicle treat.  

Comments

@iatrochemistry thank you! Sounds like a very similar situation to your son!  

Answer 13

Miralax will take a few days to produce results. But it may be a good option for helping the process along at this point

Answer 14

Put a smaller kid seat on & make sure her feet can touch something. a stool & not just dangling down. Or use a potty chair. Our daughter was scared of the potty, so we had to work our way up to the toilet.  

Comments

@lousy2870 we have both, the little elmo potty seat on the ground and also the seat on the toilet so she gets to choose or use either. She seems to like both and thinks the big one is cool. but who knows!  

Answer 15

Use pedialax it’s a softener and lots of water. when they get rid of the pain is when they will finally do ut by themselves

Comments

@lahnda113 can you get it at walgreens or cvs?  

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@stovepipe81781 yes I switched from Miralax to pedialax and more water. also got rid of the potty and got this. believe it or not. made my daughter feel more secure and in a couple of days she was potty trained. she told me that she didn’t like going in the potty and this was better (for any reason made her feel more comfortable)

Answer 16

This is a common struggle with early potty training. It sounds weird but there is a lot of emotional development that goes along with potty training. They don’t want to let their poop out because it feels like part of their body. Weird, I know. My two oldest were 3 or 3. 5 and it really does happen naturally. No power struggles, no accidents, no pull ups at night, etc. I have two littles who are 2. 5 and 3. 5 and I’m doing the same with them. Holding poop can be a power struggle. Will she poop more if you put a diaper on her?  

Comments

@leoni3 I have heard it is a really hard transition so I totally empathize with her ☹️. She wears pull ups and even when she tells me she has to go she like sucks it back in.  

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@stovepipe81781, my littlest guy gets really constipated so I make him little chocolates in a gummy bear mold. I use dark chocolate and mix it with coconut oil. I freeze them, pop the bears out into a container and store them in my fridge. He loves them and it helps!  

Answer 17

My son has this problem when he was a toddler. When he was totally backed up we used a stool softening suppository. What a relief! Then after I started to give him Benefiber everyday. Could be mixed into juice and it dissolved completely! No leftover grit like some supplements. Or I'd add to his oatmeal in the morning.  

Comments

@grimace great advice thank you!  

Answer 18

At this age my son was so scared of pooping in the toilet too. He did very well with pee but when he wanted to poop he would tell me and he would put on a pull up just to poop and then we would throw it in the toilet and wash. It is not the best way but this was the only way to get over his fear.  

Comments

So maybe give her the option. She would be even more scared if it hurts her.  

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@cogitative81257 that sounds like a great idea. Thank you!  

Answer 19

Water! Juice! Make sure she drinks lots! And it will make it easier to go. I had this problem with mine too

Answer 20

I wouldn’t use miralax, it’s been known to have affects on kids and before I did my research on it I used it on my 2yr old and it completely changed her behavior and wouldn’t work unless taken daily for days on end which isn’t recommended. Try giving her a none dairy milk (almond, soy, etc), get her on a really good kid probiotic, and prune juice works wonders. We do this combo daily and it has helped. Flax seeds in smoothies or yogurt really help too. As far as getting her to go right now, I would try a suppository to get her unplugged.  

Answer 21

She’s holding it in, which is very common while potty training.  

Answer 22

I just potty trained my 2 yo in march. She was scared too. So I would have her on the toilet, I sat in the bathroom with her and removed the anxiety of sitting on the toilet from her. We would sit there and sing songs, go through mantras who is my strong girl, brave girl etc. And then when it would be coming she would get scared and hold it in and I would hold her hand and keep distracting her and letting her feel safe in the environment. I did almost 2 weeks of this before she was completely removed of all fear.  

Answer 23

Prune juice. Works like a charm. My little guy was scared too and now when he has to go he asks for prunes so it doesn’t hurt so bad.  

Answer 24

Potty chair might help instead of a toilet. For some reason kids think there is more then just poop and it scares then when they are in normal potty.  

Answer 25

My daughter was afraid to poop in potty. I let her wear pull ups to poop. Then I got her to sit on the potty and poop with pull up on. Then I cut hole in back of pull up and let her sit on potty. Poop went in toilet. She wasn’t afraid anymore . Good luck!  

Answer 26

You’re going to fast on potty training. Put a diaper on her so she can poop. Let her pee on the potty for awhile until she’s not scared. Then try poop on the potty.  

Comments

This was my thought too.  

Answer 27

My daughter had the same issues - doc had her on miralax for at least 2 weeks to get her system normal and then on an as needed basis - also - pear juice - I highly recommend - it works almost better than the miralax in my opinion.  

Answer 28

Warmed prune juice

Answer 29

She needs more fat. Everyone thinks fiber helps you go. but only if you also up your fluid intake. Check out some "fat bomb" recipes and see if you can give her one as a treat. I always try stuff like this before medical/otc stuff. Another weird toddler thing is that it's scary to have something that was close to you (poop in a diaper) now falling away from you. Calm jars can help. Also explaining that she won't fall in or get hurt might help. There's also the play dough trick. Make your hand into a fist with play dough inside. Have it squeeze out like poop. Show her what is actually happening back there!  

Answer 30

My older son was small for his age, so we got a child sized toilet seat to fit over the regular seat. He didn't like it and the very next day hopped on the toilet facing the back, put his hands down on the seat, one on each side to anchor himself, and that's how he used the toilet until he was tall enough to stand and use the toilet in the "normal" way. If your daughter has a fear of "falling in" that is driving this problem, maybe you can teach her to mount the toilet, so to speak, like she's riding a horse.  

Answer 31

Get the book Everyone Poops to read to her! There is a thing where kids feel like they are “losing” part of themselves.  

Answer 32

For my little one who had some sensory stuff we took smaller steps. left the diaper on and let him go in the diaper sitting on his potty and we had the big cheers. he just needed smaller steps and we read some books about holding it in. I would try to keep the stress about it low. it felt like forever during it but he’s totally fine now and I feel like it was another world back then . hang In there!  

Answer 33

My two big kids learned on little training potties. My second one would hold it and then it would become this big issue, much like yours (but she was 4). So, things I tried: potty training books of all sorts, in a basket next to her potty to read while trying to go. Or, these days we have tablets, she can watch a show and just kinda relax or zone out a bit. If these little tricks aren’t helping - let her go in the pull up - then progress to pull up, but in the bathroom, then try on the potty with a pull up , then try the hole in the pull up trick. I still would use the little potty, it just seems less daunting. Good luck

Answer 34

My son was scared to go poop as well, peed fine on toilet (did not do baby potty, went straight to big toilet with toddler toilet seat on it. ) First it was poop in diaper/pullup IN bathroom (IN bathroom is important) then he would sit with pullup on the toilet. then eventually no pullup.  

Answer 35

She isnt ready yet hon leave training pants on her and tell her its ok if she has poop in her diaper that you guys are uist trying out the big girls potty but dont force her to go on it. It. has to be her. idea. if she is. holding. it that could lead to some serious problems down the road so make her feel comfortable. by giving her the option. No its not a step back trust me its a step forward i went through the. samething with my son. He didn't want to start going on the big boy potty till he saw his friend going in the bathroom and using it. Hipe this helps i know its frustrating but the right time will come where she will be able to feel comfortable. Also look into getting a animal potty swat like we have one the shape. of a froggy and it made it way less scary.  

Answer 36

Stop with the training. Diaper back on for a few weeks. Then try again. She's holding it. She's not ready.  

Answer 37

My twins are 4yo. One still needs to take a dump in a pull up. She is otherwise fully potty trained. She says it's about her inability to go in the seated position and that she needs to "push" against a wall to help her. Lol. Her twin was completely potty trained when she was about 3. 5yo. Don't rush your little one. Pooping is a different milestone that is more about development. To ease the constipation, I'd try prune or green vegetable pouches and encourage water intake. Good luck!  

Answer 38

We have been going through this exact thing for 2 months. We cut out dairy milk and use miralax daily. The pediatrician said give miralax every day indefinitely until the pooping isn't a problem any longer. It doesn't work instantly, it keeps things moving over time. She was also holding it for days and days and then crying and not wanting to poop. It was so tough to deal with. She is slowly becoming more at ease, going every 3rd day. Good luck mama. We did at one point have to use a suppository to get her going, and now if she wants to hold it in and I know she's in pain, I just tell her she will need "the medicine" again and that usually makes her push it out on her own.  

Answer 39

Same with my daughter. Turns out she needed some privacy in the bathroom (on the training potty) in order to #2. Also, the book everyone poops was a big help! Good luck!  

Answer 40

We just let our daughter take the lead. Nappy off or on when she wanted. It was her call. And when it came to pooping, we had many false alarms. But each time i would have to encourage her to wait a little longer, sit with her and chat over random things. Finally it came. didn’t seem too difficult. She kept telling me that it wasn’t so scary, so perhaps it is scary for little ones. But it seemed to help her knowing i was right there. She’s comfortable going on her own now.  

Answer 41

I agree with the not ready -I’ve seen this a few times -I also agree with diaper on her and poop on potty - don’t fret -it does work out when they are ready