Question

Taking a little poll.  how many of you mamas - whether you've just moved out here or been here for a while- have had a hard time locating your tribe, difficulty fitting in with groups you've tried or just cant seem to make a connection with other ladies out here - not that it's a bad thing - maybe you just haven't found your right fit yet?Taking a little poll. how many of you mamas - whether you've just moved out here or been here for a while- have had a hard time locating your tribe, difficulty fitting in with groups you've tried or just cant seem to make a connection with other ladies out here - not that it's a bad thing - maybe you just haven't found your right fit yet? Or are any of you apprehensive about meeting other moms and tend to keep to yourself at kids events, schools etc? No negative comments please - scroll on if it doesnt pertain to you. Thanks!  

Answer 1

I agree with this so much. It’s really hard to make friends here. Also being a full time working mom with littles can make it difficult.  

Answer 2

‍♀️I’ve made a few really lovely friends in my neighborhood, but I’ve struggled a lot with “tribe” lately.  

Answer 3

It took me a while to find people I truly felt good with. We moved from out of state 3. 5 years ago. I knew no one. but now I have a great group of friends! It just takes time. and sometimes it’s where you don’t expect!  

Comments

You are welcome ;) We love you guys xoxoxo

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@oliver7580 you are most definitely my tribe! Xoxoxo love you guys too!  

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@electrocardiograph how did you meet them?  

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@frame0 Johnson Tison through my daughter’s friend at school. at Fox Chase. then it evolved into other friends all with like personalities!  

Answer 4

I am blessed with many good friends but I do not have a cohesive tribe. I’ve had to learn that things look different for different people and that’s ok. It’s taken years to make friends. Most of my closest friends are from church and our special needs parents group

Comments

@offspring this! Friends. but a tribe?!?!  my daughter is autistic so it’s hard to do play dates and such. It’s hard to get a sitter. My husband and I are very much our own “tribe. ”

Answer 5

I felt exactly like this 5 years ago before I found my tribe. Best group of women I’ve ever met.  

Comments

@goldeye How did you meet them?  

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@frame0 Johnson Tison Moms & More Oswego. I shopped at the resale and decided to take a leap.  

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Yes me too. I shopped and then became a seller first. Then I decided to join and I regret didn’t join sooner  

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Oh awesome! I’ve been looking to join! I should sell clothes there this spring too.  

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@frame0 Johnson Tison you can come with me if you want. I know it’s awkward if you don’t know anyone. Lol Book club and Bunco nights are my favorites.  

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@caitlyncaitrin Oh awesome! Thank you! I’ll check it out and let you know  

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@frame0 Johnson Tison you can come to a couple of events before you decide to join.  

Answer 6

I’ve always kept to myself a lot because I feel out of place most of the time. I would like a tribe of people I connect with outside of our kids but I think I’m my own worst enemy most of the time. My friend Steph is my longest running friend of over 25 years but we hardly see each other. We have an equally dark sense of humor and outlook of the world that some others might not like. ‍♀️

Comments

@littles I have a dark sense of humor. I'll be your friend!  

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@scoundrelly7 mines like dark black.  

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@littles just like my soul

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@littles I think I found my people  

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Yeah my sense of humor is defined by horror movies. I mean come on!  

Answer 7

We’ve lived in the area 15 years. Where we came from, I was super involved and had a huge network of friends and acquaintances. I have found this area to just be tough and have heard the same from other transplants. Have met a lot of people through kids activities and sports, but once your kid moves on to the next thing, people don’t seem to keep in touch. I have made many friends over the years but have never found the elusive group of friends who all care about each other, love to be together as a group and have each other’s backs. My kids are now both off to college and I’m having a blast with my husband and my friends but am still missing the tribe. don’t think it’s going to happen for me here ‍♀️

Comments

@wildawildcat dont give up yet! I'm going to start a page/group for us - even if you dont go to meetups maybe you can connect here with like minded women. Let me get it started tonight and ill. post info here!  

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@pancreatotomy14987 can I be in your group! I am transplant too.  

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@wildawildcat, I would love to be included! I’m new here and also struggling.  

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@wildawildcat but I’m here. ‍♀️Willing to talk about Aldi, dogs and trips to St. Louis .  

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@legator74351 LOL! I have plenty of friends. and appreciate you among them ❤️❤️ It’s that whole posse vibe that I’ve never found here. I’m doing just fine without it but it would be fun!  

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@pancreatotomy14987 keep us moms posted!  

Answer 8

Me! Most of my good friends aren't in the same life as me and haven't found many out here that I just click with.  

Answer 9

Yes me ‍♀️

Answer 10

I’m a homebody and we come from a military life where it’s easy to find a tribe wherever you go. It’s much harder making friends as an adult! I’m definitely not one to put myself out there and make new friends. It’s so hard!  

Answer 11

Echoing much of what has already been said. I've lived in Illinois for going on 10 years. I work full time and my two are not school age, so meeting people is hard - let alone fellow moms who are juggling the same things I am.  

Answer 12

I think a big problem is that as adults we have such a hard time putting ourselves out there, and we assume everyone else has friends already. When what I’m seeing from this post is that most people are lacking friends too. I think our assumptions and the fear of putting ourselves out there gets the best of us.  

Answer 13

I am always down for new friends, I am the obnoxious one. I have 2 kids a sophomore (almost 16 at OHS and 10 y/o @ Fox Chase. and a bonus kid every other weekend (11). Feel free to reach out. :)

Answer 14

There is a FB group called Moms Need Friends Too that is local. Someone should design an app to find mom friends kinda like tinder.  

Comments

@cellule there is one called Peanut

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@cellule I’ve yet to make any friends on it though after living in Oswego for a year now

Answer 15

I’m definitely that way. I have a few of what I’d consider my core group of friends or people I trust. These are people I’ve met years ago & continue to interact with. Some Ive known for 25 years. But I have issues with new ppl. The 39yo me just does’t have the energy to put into making friends like I did when I was 20. Not that I’m not friendly or open to it, I just don’t go outta my way to seek it. Also. my kids & husband are the #1 priority. As per usual, mom is last. So if it doesn’t revolve around them, it’s not happening.  

Answer 16

I’m happy to say that because of church I have made some of the most beautiful and lasting friendships. But to have such relationships you must invest in time and show yourself friendly. That doesn’t mean that we have everything in common or that we always get together but that when we do gather there’s such harmony and encouragement like no other. I hope you’re able to find that soon too. Best of wishes!  

Answer 17

I have lived here for 3 1/2 years and have just recently found a great group of friends. I have never had great luck making female friends. But I will say hang in there and be selective. It makes a world of difference when you have the right people in your corner. Good luck mama!  

Comments

@bedabble23  

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@bedabble23 how did you find them?  

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@frame0 Johnson Tison they are moms that live in the neighborhood. I met them thru one mom and the group just formed from that.  

Answer 18

Just wanted to say that you ladies are brave for making these comments because SO many of us think this but have a hard time with our emotions/feeling in new situations or social events. I love this and hope something amazing comes out of it for each of you! As a side note, I wanted to share a story that I thought of as I was reading the comments. My daughter is in Kindergarten and last night, she came home to tell me "so and so" said no, you can't be my friend (along with other things). Well, we started the conversation of maybe he/she was having an off day since we are allowed those and showing respect to people even if they don't deserve it since that action is a true reflection of your character, etc. and it was done. This morning, dropped her off at the same time as that kid and I witnessed them greeting each other with "good morning", smiles, shared a toy, playful giggles while walking inside side by side. It was such a sweet moment knowing what I knew and a beautiful reminder from 5 year olds!  #starteachdaywithagratefulheart

Answer 19

I have to say love our mom group from Old Post! My kids love their friends and our neighborhood! And grew up here, left moved back like 5 years ago, and am sooo thankful for the moms I have met! It’s helps their kids are exactly my kids ages so 7 and 5 too! But hope you find your niche, now I did make the effort with my 5 year old’s friends “moms” and had a few play dates and haven’t really clicked so much with any of them but just keep trying! I got a “walking mom group in the summer we did last summer so let me know if you are interested. You are welcome to join us!  

Answer 20

I feel the same! I moved in in October which is a hard time to move in to!  

Answer 21

You know I love parties. I should throw a mom mixer

Comments

@oliver7580 yes! ‍♀️

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I'm down. I'll bring booze

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@scoundrelly7 sounds like our group! lol

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Answer 22

I did at first and then I found my tribe at Girl Scouts. I remember chatting up other Moms at the playground but rarely did anything other than a pleasant conversation happen. Rest assured it will happen!  

Answer 23

Yep. I moved here in summer 2016 and my friends I do have in the area are work friends. I care about them dearly and LOVE when we do spend time together. The problem is it just doesnt happen often because we all live spread out and I work in Batavia. But also I'm a total homebody and want to be lounging around in sweats haha. I'm starting to meet a few new people with my oldest in kindergarten and hope that maybe that can continue. Between work and home I am so tired and hardly have the energy to get to weeknight appointments lol! I'm a teacher though so come summer I have way more energy. It's also my anxiety that gets in the way. Grown up friendships are so complicated.  

Answer 24

It’s hard to move and it’s hard to find the group you fit in with. you can try to put your self out there and try getting to know other parents but really as a mom how much extra time do you have to devote to finding your social click? don’t get frustrated. it really does take more time the. you think

Answer 25

I moved here in 2007 and unfortunately found myself being a single momma of a 1 and 2 year old just 6 short months later. I hated this house, kicked myself for leaving our 2-bedroom townhome, and was so fearful of what would happen to me as I floundered trying to do it all. I slowly became close with my neighbors in my cul-de-sac more so because all of the kids (no matter what age) would play together all hours of the day and night. In 2011, my family was struck with a devastating diagnosis. My neighbors were truly what got me through. They are not neighbors. They are not even friends. They are my family. And it now stretches so far beyond our little sac, but throughout all of LWC. We have been contemplating moving for the past couple of years and it's my @flake/activity" class="qa-user-link">flake Court and @flake/activity" class="qa-user-link">flake Drive family that has kept us here. If you haven't been able to connect, I hope you find a few good ones to connect with that you can lean on.  

Comments

@milkwhite Adamo Schippers ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Love you!  

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@flake back atcha!  

Answer 26

I moved here in 2016. I’m a total homebody but my kids have made a ton of friends here and I’m super happy about that. I haven’t found my “tribe” lol but I’m not a tribe type of girl maybe ? Lol I’m not a (snobby) mom and Im a lot younger than most of the moms of my two older kid’s classmates. Seems like I’ve gotten a lot of judgment for that (idc at all, I’m just saying what I’ve noticed. ) I’m super like go with the flow. I’ve found a few super cool moms despite all that though. You’ve gotta weed through the “better than you” ones, I guess (I’ve met several of those. )

Answer 27

I am in- need local friends!  

Answer 28

Try meetup. com I’ve made some great friends Or start your own meet up.  

Answer 29

Yes, i am shy and have a hard time talking to others.  

Answer 30

‍♀️ I’m going on 3 years of living here and been a mom for almost 8 months and have another one on the way. I think I may have made a friend finally but it could just be a work friend thing (like basically every one I’ve met out here has been)

Answer 31

I suggest we all get together for coffee on morning. I'd be happy to host.  

Answer 32

It's definitely hard as an adult especially when you work and have obligations with your kids! I'm always up for meeting new people though! We should all have a meet and greet sometime  

Answer 33

I’d be interested!  

Answer 34

until I found Fit4Mom Oswego . and I swear they’re the tribe I never knew I needed! ♥️

Answer 35

I have never had a tribe! Does not exist for some of us!  

Answer 36

I’ve found it hard to make friends here. I have 3 kids and I’ve tried with the other moms in their activities but I’ve found some not all to be very catty. I would love to have a group of friends to do things with and without the kids.  

Comments

@yan384 Palomar same