Question

Does anyone else feel your spouse is working against you or not supporting your efforts for this journey? I’ve been working so hard on my budget, cutting expenses, limiting my spending (and shopping addiction) and tracking every penny, just to find unpaid parking tickets in my husbands wallet. We already pay over $160 a month in parking as he pays daily (been asking him to find a monthly one that at least saves $40 a month, but according to him there’s none- btw, today I found 3 different parkings that have monthly spots-) Today the ticket was due before paying extra $30 on it (it was already $50) and he still hasn’t pay it! I feel like my attempts to save and pay debt go to hell because of him and his poor choices. I’ll just keep doing my thing, working hard and so, but that frickin $50 could have gone to pay debt. (that’s what pisses me off). Words of encouragement? How did you got your spouses to get on board?  

Answer 1

I would sit down with him, show him the numbers, and get his input on the plan. For some people, that’s all they need and then they’re onboard. But unfortunately for some people, it takes months of seeing their partner succeed while they continue to drown before they got onboard. With my husband, he was resistant when I first mentioned budgeting because he thought it meant we couldn’t have fun or buy things on a whim so we went 7 months living paycheck to paycheck when we earned more than enough to not be living like that. We were constantly eating out due to poor meal planning and grocery shopping and just barely paying down debt. Finally one day when we were out at dinner my husband said, “I’m tired of not having money. ” I took that as an opportunity to bring up cash envelopes again and he again brought up his concerns and I told him we can still have fun and buy things for ourselves, it’s just planned for now. Within the month we found ourselves being able to throw $1500 to debt and it slowly went up to maxing out our snowball at $2200. Since then he’s been grateful for my budgeting and our cash envelopes. We’re not perfect by any means but by working together, we can still make it through off weeks (like how 2 weeks ago we went out to eat like 3-4 times instead of once a week )

Answer 2

All you really can control is your spending, you can’t force your spouse. Maybe once he sees all of the progress you are making it will motivate him to begin. Just like you can’t make someone diet or quit drinking, they have to want to.  

Answer 3

I haven't started this yet, but i've been stalking the page and starting to talk to mine about spending, good choices, etc. and he went out and bought a truck 2 days ago. so i feel you.  

Answer 4

I feel ya! My only advice would be to force him to talk to you, because at the end of the day even if your “doing your own thing” Finances can really really creat grudges. and you might end u with resentment.  

Answer 5

I let my husband do the budget and pay bills for a couple months with the same savings goal I was doing, , , he found out it was as "easy and simple" as he thought. Now we are on sale page and have better communication on everything now he famous words are "Keep doing whatever it is you're doing with the finances because it's working" it's good to hear that he appreciates it!  

Answer 6

I had an ex boyfriend like that and he became my ex

Answer 7

I would suggest calling Apprisen and doing phone budget counseling and let him hear it from a professional. Perhaps he will respond better when a professional lays out a specific plan and a path to a better financial outcome. Somehow you would both need to be on the call. Unfortunately they don't have in-person counseling any more.  

Answer 8

Apprisen is a non-profit and is therefore not trying to sell you a financial product.  

Answer 9

Call him on the " no available parking" then let him choose which of the three available he wants to use. Remember his tickets are his and should be paid from his money, not household funds. When he has to pay it instead of the money fairy he' ll see the light.