Question

Yesterday, I was boxing up books at the school where I teach when one of the custodians walked by and said to me, “You’re losing weight aren’t you? You’re TURNING INTO a beautiful young lady. ” Now, I know he meant well, but that comment ticked me off. I was beautiful before, I’m beautiful now, and I’ll be beautiful if I put it all back on tomorrow! All of you are beautiful and always have been, too! I just thought I’d share this as a reminder that our weights do not define our beauty.  

Answer 1

He had good intentions, appreciate that.  

Answer 2

We’ve all been there. The one I hate most is “you have such a pretty face” or wonderful personality or fill in the blank. they’re saying “ if only you lost some weight. ”

Answer 3

Melanie-you go girl-you made a decision to be healthy. You are beautiful just from your post.  

Answer 4

From the mouth of a man

Answer 5

I understand completely. Sounds double edged but some people don’t think before they speak.  

Answer 6

I agree completely with you but some people don't think like that.  

Answer 7

They obviously have never had to lose a bunch of weight. I'm sure he meant well.  

Answer 8

It was a compliment.  

Answer 9

Men don’t always says the right things , it was a compliment,  

Answer 10

There’s no right way to say anything anymore, take it as a compliment and move on.  

Answer 11

That was a compliment all it needed was a smile and a thank you!  

Answer 12

I just have to remind myself that when people are being unkind (deliberate or not), it is 100% a reflection of them and not of me.  

Answer 13

I completely understand what you mean. It is difficult not to take offense. However, people just don’t think before they open their mouths. The important thing is YOU recognizing that you are beautiful regardless of your weight. Most people’s weight fluctuate throughout their lives so you are not alone. One time someone said to me, “Have you ever thought of losing 50 pounds and becoming a model”? I was so caught off guard all I could think about was is THAT supposed to be a compliment?! Just move on and don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is too short.  

Answer 14

Be kind to yourself and the custodian. He wanted to compliment you. Accept the compliment with love.  

Answer 15

Just accept the compliment. he was trying to be kind!  

Answer 16

He definitely meant it as a compliment. It was nice of him to say anything since the days of the "me too" movement.  

Answer 17

I love it when someone notices my weight loss.  

Answer 18

Graciously accept the compliment. Full stop.  

Comments

@bidwell2754 , uh, I did say I know he meant well. I meekly said thank you. Doesn’t mean it didn’t rub the wrong way. Full stop.  

Answer 19

Omg, get over it!  

Answer 20

True, but you don’t know his intent. Accept the compliment and be happy.  

Answer 21

At least someone noticed! That’s certainly motivates me to stay on track! He meant well.  

Comments

Road to hell is paved with good intentions -

Answer 22

Some guys just place their foot in Their mouths. But i agree, w you

Answer 23

I am sure there is no question that you look better. I completely understand your point, though.  

Answer 24

He was trying to give you a compliment, so take it as one and feel great

Answer 25

My attitude. Take the compliment and be happy somebody noticed your weight loss!  

Answer 26

So far in two weeks I’ve lost 10 pounds! I set my goal at 20 pounds! Then I reset it Cause sometimes if you set the goal too much it can be overwhelming

Answer 27

I bet he was of a “ certain age”

Answer 28

He thought he was doing a good thing. wanted to let you know your weight loss is noticeable. Just let it go. Some people just do not know how to talk.