+36 votes
by (960 points)
I’m having a very hard time agreeing with my boyfriend on our house budget . He wants to look at $200k -$250k and I want something btwn $100k-$150k. Bsckstory : I own a home which I bought in 2016 & i rent out . This home cost me $81k . This was expensive at first as a single mom at 5% , but my interest rate went down to 1% and its very affordable now. Perhaps too affordable and giving me anxiety about purchasing more expensive. Some months we are robbing peter to pay paul and pulling money out of nowhere to make ends meet in the house we are renting now. . . Sooo . my question is What foolproof way do u have for determining how much house we can afford?  
I’m having a very hard time agreeing with my boyfriend on our house budget .

22 Answers

+15 votes
by (4.4k points)
Your house should be no more than 25% of your gross monthly income. When you get pre approved the bank will tell you what you can afford but we always stay well under that.  
by (4.4k points)
@adenectomy we make sure that includes utilities as well but we are pretty conservative.  
+28 votes
by (10k points)
I’d start by seeing what you qualify for. No reason to look at $200-250k houses if it’s not on the radar ‍♀️ also think about how much you really want to be spending per month on a mortgage. Do not leave yourself house poor. Also, only buy what you need. My husband wanted 4-5 bedrooms and 2-3 baths, but it wasn’t realistic for our budget and it also wasn’t a must have. Having a larger house would’ve been nice, the mortgage though, would not be.  
by (10k points)
If you’re struggling to make ends meet, you’re not ready for a house. THAT can leave you with a foreclosure if you’re not careful.  
by (5.5k points)
@vaporizer See I do opposite and what we can afford. We qualify for like 400k but I don’t want a mortgage payment for a house that much. My house is half of what I actually qualified for.  
by (10k points)
@taille that’s what I’m saying. Instead of looking at $250k houses, I’m saying see what they qualify for first. Why look at a $250k if you only qualify for $150k ‍♀️ I’m not saying go to the max you are qualified for, just don’t look at what you can’t get.  
+14 votes
by (1.5k points)
I would figure out how large of a payment you can afford. Mortgage calculators will help figure out your price. You also need to know property taxes and house insurance rates for your area because they are included in your mortgage payment.  
+9 votes
by (640 points)
I wrote out our budget and goals to see what monthly budget we were looking at. I estimated how much house we could reasonably afford by using a payment calculator on a real estate website (so like, I knew we could afford X amount so I played around with the calculator to see how much mortgage that would give us). Not an exact science but it got us in the ballpark! The banks were willing to loan us way more than we could actually afford, since they didn't take into account any of our expenses.  
+13 votes
by (890 points)
Why don't y'all stay in your home? I would hate to go into debt with some one who is not even totally commented to me.  
by (180 points)
@basilica I disagree here. Some are not interested in marriage. I probably wouldn’t run out and buy a house with someone I just met but just bc he’s her BF doesn’t mean anything. They can both be on the mortgage.  
by (890 points)
@speculator well I am 53 and the last love of my life stuck me so be safe. Look out for yourself.  
by (5.8k points)
@speculator I agree we bought before we were married and had no problems.  
by (1.4k points)
Unfortunately no one wants a relationship to end but without being married you lose everything put in. at least married its 50/50 (usually)
+27 votes
by (7.9k points)
My husband and I purchased a decent house with a bit of land, out of town (so he commutes about 30-45 mins each way) but it was the cheapest we could find. We busted our butts for 5 years and payed it off! Because the mortgage was half the price as renting, we were able to double up our monthly payments. It was a tirering 5 years but we feel secure now. My friend bought her house in the higher end of her budget and she's house poor now.  
+26 votes
by (1k points)
Can you move into the home you already own with the 1% interest rate and save some money, reduce expenses?  
+12 votes
by (4.9k points)
I like percentages of income so less than 20% because that 5% will be eaten with insurance and maintenance.  
+15 votes
by (2.6k points)
One of you should by the home and pay the other rent. Do not buy a home to someone you are not legally married to. I am sure he is a great guy but you must protect your and your child’s financial security. We have a family situation right now that is a huge mess bc of a death and the person they were with is trying to screw his children from his share of the equity in the home. Big mess is costing a ton in lawyer fees.  
by (980 points)
What @squid65227 said. You have no obligation to this person. In the eye of the law you both are single. Your relationship can end with just a word and then you will be left to handle all the financial obligations should he decide he doesn't want to bother with it.  
+9 votes
by (4.2k points)
Make sure your mortgage payment, insurance and taxes all come to under your current rent. Also, if you are going bigger, figure in utilities. You have to be able to save for house expenses as well.  
by (3.1k points)
@who36 agreed with all of this
+10 votes
by (4.2k points)
We mortgaged less than half what the bank approved us for. I have no clue how we would have afforded it. We do not have any other debts, but between all expenses and kids sports ($$$$) it costs a lot. We are able to save quite a bit each month, but if our mortgage was more there would be not that much excess.  
+27 votes
by (2.4k points)
I wouldn’t buy a house with a boyfriend for all the reasons others have cited above. Combine finances only when married.  
by (830 points)
@enforcement70 what exactly does marriage guarantee? I don’t even think she asked for that feedback.  
by (5.8k points)
@enforcement70 not everyone wants marriage. And I don’t agree with that. If you can’t agree on finances beforehand there’s a problem with the relationship
by (2.4k points)
Refer to Dave Ramsey’s YT or podcasts for answers as to buying property with a spouse or fiancée vs. boyfriend/girlfriend.  
+11 votes
by (570 points)
I talked to loan officer and they asked what do I feel comfortable paying and he give me what price I should be looking for. I based my comfort off of what paid for rent before I bought the house.  
+23 votes
by (6.4k points)
Everyone saying not to buy a house before you are married, I don’t know, some people never want to get married. Marriage doesn’t always equal commitment, and not being married doesn’t mean not being committed to a relationship. This may vary by state and I would talk with an attorney, but in PA you can title property as tenants in common instead of as joint tenants. Then you both own half of the house, if one person dies, ownership doesn’t automatically transfer to the other owner.  
by (980 points)
@alpert71 why be together if the end goal isn't to get married? Thats the whole point of dating
by (6.4k points)
@rhetorician685 because everyone is different and people have different goals and ideals? Same sex couples weren’t even legally able to get married until recent years, so by your logic they should have never bothered dating anyone since they could never reach what others think should be the end goal for everyone.  
+24 votes
by (1k points)
Call me later. We’ll talk about what I see as your options  
+15 votes
by (13.8k points)
From a "Murphy's Law" standpoint I would try and figure out your budget and what you could afford on only one income. The reason I say this is because people loose their jobs all the time. From a relationship stand point try meeting in the middle. Something else to think about is who is going to be spending more time in the home? In my case I spend more time home (I work from home most days) so it needs to be more functional for me then it does for my husband who's here maybe an hour or 2 before he passes out. (Asleep). Then here's the realistic standpoint. With how big your family is what is the average home price for what you need? Where I live 200k your lucky to get anything more then a 3 bedroom. If you want anything bigger your paying 3-4.  
+1 vote
by (2.5k points)
Things to think about: (1) ALWAYS trust your gut. You’re uneasy for a reason. Don’t ignore that feeling. (2) Is the downpayment coming exclusively from you? If not is it 50/50? (3) Follow up to #3 - who’s name is going on the title of the house and the mortgage? (4) Are you familiar with the property laws in your state should your relationship end and you own a house with a man you’re not married to? Answers to your “foolproof” question - in general a house payment should be no more than 25% of your take home income. But this percentage has no way to account for what debt you may have or what your other life circumstances may be. Best of luck to you.  
+10 votes
by (5.8k points)
We bought before we were married and had no problems
+21 votes
by (890 points)
I'm Canadian so prices are different but we were approved for 600k(first home) and when doing the math the monthly payment would've been astronomical! So instead we looked at our budget and figured out how much we could pay monthly towards a mortgage and everything that comes along with it. That ended up being around 400k. It was much easier doing that then the whole 25% thing.  
+3 votes
by (3.4k points)
Never get a Mortage for more than 25% -30% of one persons take home pay, is the safe budget way to do the math. One income and % 25-30% of take home . This protects the Mortage when repairs and job loss etc occur. Or stay at home with kids etc. If your struggling now than your already paying to much. do a zero balance budget first. And add 1/3 of monthly Mtg payment to the Mtg for ongoing lifelong repairs.  
+13 votes
by (2.6k points)
I for real told my husband, that I wanted a house we could both work at Wal-Mart, and afford. Because that was the least amount of money I could imagine us making together. I never wanted to lose our house. I'm so glad we did that. We OWNED our house within 10 years. And got lucky, because the market jumped when we needed to move, so we nearly made double on that tiny house! No regrets buying the smaller house. Bigger house requires more money to fill it with furniture and air conditioning, and to maintain it. We live in a bigger house now, and man I want to go back to the smaller maintenance cost of that other house!  
+19 votes
by (1.3k points)
We bought a home only on one income in case one couldn't work
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