Question

May sound crazy, but I want to find out if am the only one and maybe get some advice. My husband of 17 years has always been the one paying the bills. I send my paycheck to our joint checking. I buy things here and there not too extravagant but I want to start really saving. We dont ever preplan for things, have used credit to cover costs when needed and then spend all this time paying it back. I have been researching this and I feel like with our joing income we should be saving and we arent. He makes 600 weekly, and i am 1200 bi weekly. We only have our routine bills (water electric cable) and a car payment and insurance for 1 car. This tells me that we are basically spending frivolously on things we dont need. My struggle is. he doesnt seem to want to change it up and give up control to let me “try”. Am i the only one where the significant other isnt on the same page? How can I over come this? Should I seperate funds? KIND advice please

Answer 1

Your next day off, go into the bank statement for the last couple months and write them down. use a highlighter to show Bills, grocery, gas, extras (labeled if you want) then make a budget based off that and just show him

Comments

Men are very visual and need to see the difference

Answer 2

I definitely think this needs to be an open discussion between you and him about being transparent on all things in a relationship. At the end of it, if you feel like there was t transparency, maybe consider getting joint accounts. What I will also add for anyone who has one spouse paying bills and the other has no idea what is going on, is change that! My grandpa paid their bills for years and my grandma had her spending money. He died first and my grandma had no clue what was what. It took almost 5 years to get on a path. Please make sure this isn’t happening in your relationship, that is a hardship no one should have to go through in the grieving process. So, if it helps using that example to help him understand the importance, I recommend it.  

Answer 3

Couseling. Create a budget based off both incomes, including savings and spending. Present the plan to him. Get input in his wants and needs too

Answer 4

Separate finances. Send half your check to the joint checking and the other half to your personal checking. If he doesn't want to let you help then there is no reason to send all of your money to a joint checking because you're not working together.