Question

Anyone else struggle with parents who are in debt? I’ve got my own debt to payoff and goals to reach, but I sometimes feel so guilty for not helping my mom with hers. Growing up, I was never taught to save. She puts everything on a credit card and her rent takes up about 60% of her income. I just want to take care of all of it for her, but I know I need to focus on mine.  

Answer 1

I’ve tried to casually discuss finances with my dad because I know if something happens to him I’m going to have to figure out his finances. I also want him to be able to retire. He is absolutely awful with money (my mom previously always handled the bills and budget) and he likes to throw money around for ego. That said, I was never taught anything about finances myself from him or my mom. I do feel a sense of responsibility for him but I also have 2 children and a household of my own that is my priority now. I understand how you feel— but I also believe If we helped them it would be more enabling than improving their situation

Answer 2

In this same boat! I do what I can but not at my own expense.  

Answer 3

Oh - I get you! 100%. I was NEVER taught ANYTHING about money! Other than it seemed normal to struggle to pay rent, and lights, and car, and just don’t carry car insurance because it’s not necessary and food is more important. Oh man! I could go ON AND ON about how me and you are a lot alike! We probably grew up in very similar situation (financially anyway). Oh man! Literally, the only advise I have (because I still struggle with what you are talking about) is just focus on your journey. Maybe when they see you succeed, they’ll ask you for help AND YOU CAN GUIDE them . Good luck!  

Answer 4

So sweet of you to consider it, if anything teach her. Don’t do it for her or she won’t learn

Answer 5

My mom is really bad too. I try to talk finances with her but there is always an excuse of why she cant get better with money

Answer 6

I think each of us has to sort of hit bottom before we come to the realization that we need to change our spending/saving habits. So, if you help your mom out, will she learn anything to prevent her from keeping up her bad financial habits and potentially get in worse money problems? You have to think of your expenses and life first and only if you can afford to do it. Good luck.  

Answer 7

I would never expect my children to pay my debts

Answer 8

Same. My mom has never asked me for money and she seems to finally be getting her finances in order. But a part of why I started this journey was to not end up like her financially. I love her to death but she struggled her whole life. Somehow she managed to give my ungrateful ass everything I ever wanted and I have no idea how (probably credit cards) and for that I am so thankful. I’d love to be able to get in a place where I could help her but I have to fix my own mess first ❤️

Answer 9

My dad is not great with money he used to call and ask to borrow money and of course I would go deposit it into his bank account. He started to call every month and after awhile I said no more. Might I add he’s never paid me back even after he got $80, 000 in a injury settlement. Me helping him wasn’t actually helping him, it was enabling him. I’m learning to navigate this world and take care of my family unfortunately his money problems aren’t my money problems ☺️