Question

Happy mother’s day and happy sunday! I need some advice or thoughts on my work situation. What should I do? This heavily impacts my finances and well being so I figured this page could really help me I started a job earlier this year and missed work due to being extremely sick. I communicated and followed all protocols and recommendations about staying home when sick. I’m pregnant btw with some complications. Was about 20 weeks upon being hired. I was told i’ll be fired if I miss more. Small business. Less than 50 employees. No HR. I had my 90 day review a couple days ago and turns out my supervisors put false/out of context information and the review paints me out to be an awful employee. I confided in a supervisor about work related stuff and she put I “complained” about a bonus (as if i’m ungrateful) when I was asking if there was anything I did wrong to get a lower amount than others. Wanting feedback to improve. Amongst other things. Then another supervisor who has a history of lying or exaggerating things said something about me on my phone and being unethical. Long story. But false. Anyway, I addressed those things. I say that the 2020 handbook clearly states that your supervisor should be the person you go to with work related concerns and things important to you. I did and it was used against me. After I expressed that to my assistant director I was told “we have some unspoken rules around here and the handbook isn’t the best thing to go off of”. Like what? So now I have a write up, JUST NOW, for me being sick end of feb/beginning of march. And a review that makes me look unethical and awful when they’re not following their own handbook. Didn’t get the raise due to the absences but that’s not the most frustrating part because I can understand it from a business perspective, IF the business was ethical. Basically. I’m so stressed guys. I’m 8. 5 months pregnant, have a toddler, in school full time and i’m just hurting every day mentally and physically. I feel as if i’m being pushed away (i’ve talked to ex employees and they say that’s what this company does) and forced to be so miserable I quit. This is just a snippet of the entire story though but should I just quit? I know i can’t get unemployment but my mental state is deteriorating. We have 5k in savings, a lot of CC debt and my fiancé got a pay cut, hopefully only until July. He’s actively looking for second jobs, mainly overnights, and I know he’ll get one soon especially with grocery stores and distributions needing help. But is my health and happiness worth it? Like struggling for a few months and focusing on my new baby and school? I’d get another job after my maternity leave would’ve been done anyway. Help  Thank you if you’ve read this much.  

Answer 1

I may be looking at this another way but I use the information that is provided and work it to my advantage. I do not go to work to make friends but I do get along with my co workers. For me this is a job that helps support my family. I take my emotions out of it and do my job. If I felt like I was on the chopping block then I smile and do my job. Do not let them get under my skin. If they want me gone then they will have to fire me. Best of luck to you- I never leave a job without another job in the plan.  

Comments

@delgado yeah they’re trying to push me out. there’s a lot i didn’t say. but it’s all unethical and just plain wrong. i don’t want to keep working and getting criticized and lied about especially since i have so much on my plate and my mental state is deteriorating. i’m going on maternity leave soon ish so i couldn’t get another job

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@bureaucratize  you have a couple of weeks. You can do this. You have an end in sight which should help your mental state as well. Think about what this extra money will do for your family and new baby. Let the drama roll off your back and finish your obligation with your head held high. I would definitely not want a quit without notice on my job history- especially during these times. Best of luck to you. As a friend of mine likes to say "They can't take away your birthday".  

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@delgado lol i love that. yeah i would definitely give notice beforehand and i’m making sure all is documented and sent to labor and industries! just in case  

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@bureaucratize amen sister. That's the spirit. Don't let them break you down- never give someone that power over you.  

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Yknow, when they try to push me out, is when i dig in and say to myself “I’m not going anywhere. ” I’ll keep working and documenting, you can waste your time playing games but ain’t nobody got time to waste playin with you. ” Hang in there!  

Answer 2

Can you hang in there for another few weeks? When is your due date?  

Comments

@bipetalous528 but since it’s not paid its basically the same as me quitting lol

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@bureaucratize Oh thats true I guess.  

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@bipetalous528 i think my happiness and health is more important than 5 weeks of pay. it would accumulate to about $2500. at MOST. clients cancel all the time. so i’m just like meh. i want to be with my daughter

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If you are in Washington state, you'd get paid fmla, right? Or no, because the company is so small?  

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Wondering if your doctor can write you a letter stating due to your current health you are at high risk for Covid19? That way you can get unemployment until you can return to work after baby arrives. I'm in Oregon and I know Washington has more cases of Covid than we do. A friend of mine had to stop work due to get health issues, she didn't quit, is on furlough, and she has been receiving unemployment.  

Answer 3

What’s there policy on maternity leave

Comments

@hampton9 what do you mean exactly?  

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@bureaucratize if you stay until your maternity leave starts will it be a paid maternity leave? Will you have medical benefits that are needed for the baby?  

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@exasperate nope i won’t have anything from this job. my insurance is through my fiancé and i have a secondary through my mom. i don’t qualify for any government assistance either

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@bureaucratize like what’s the companies policy on being out on maternity leave.  

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@hampton9 there’s no specific policy. they’ve basically just said to let them know when i need to start leave and give them an estimate on when i return. not very official

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@bureaucratize so can your obgyn start your leave as of now? My coworker had to take leave about 2 months before being due Cuz she was at risk & was sent home to be on bed rest.  

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@hampton9 i’m going to ask her when i see her wednesday! maybe it can be started sooner.  

Answer 4

It does seem that they arelooking to push you out. you mentioned your eight and a half months pregnant so basically you're going to go on maternity leave soon I will not quit since you are going on maternity leave during your leave look for something else and then give them the notice

Comments

@mandeville thank you for the input  

Answer 5

I was laid off while pregnant due to my Family leave running out so I understand the financial stress aspect, but in my opinion nothing is worth the health of you and your unborn. I say give two weeks and be done especially if you don’t plan on going back or receiving any benefits but that’s just my two cents. Best of luck to you!  

Comments

@catchweight23850 thank you. this is pretty much what i’m thinking because i don’t want to grow with this company and i don’t get any paid leave anyway. my mental health is very important to me. i can’t believe you were laid off during that time though  

Answer 6

Sorry about the situation you’re in. I remember your other posts about your former employer too. There are definitely employers who care about you and are ethical. If possible hold out another couple weeks and quit when you give birth. For your mental health

Comments

@reste @fredericksburg yeah it’s unfortunate i left an employer that i thought was unethical just to get a HUGE wake up call with what that word really means. everything happens for a reason that’s for sure. i thought i was so lucky to get this job.  

Answer 7

I would also last a week or two longer. See if you can look for other job leads you can follow up on after you have the baby. Also, take this time to make sure you're on top of everything financially. Then leave. Give yourself a couple of weeks to relax before the baby comes. Good luck

Comments

@radiotelegraph yeah my fiancé would need to get a second job for us to survive. his paychecks alone wouldn’t help us survive. I have an internship i have to complete this fall for my degree so i may just focus on that

Answer 8

I would stay until your doctor says your ready to go out. If they let you go, unemployment would take care of you for a few months. Just breathe, go in and do your job and let anything just roll right off you. You have this dog by the short hairs (lol), so I would ride it out and take pleasure in it. Remember, you have control over your reaction. Simply don’t react. Just do. with a smile (it drives them even crazier).  

Comments

Unemployment may likely be more than your salary since the feds are adding $600 a week to the state amount.  

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@vandalism the problem is this place won’t fire me. they’re trying to make me so miserable i quit like they have with others. and i’m missing so much time with my toddler for this. i’m hoping my doctor can send me on leave sooner with the issues i’ve been having  

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@bureaucratize You are almost across the finish line. I’ve had an awful experience as well. Once I got my mindset shifted, I took off the oppressive feeling they were giving me like a bodysuit - I literally peeled it off. I went in one day with a completely different mindset and happy and didn’t react to ANYTHING they did. It changed my experience (you have that power) and drove them nuts. You can do this.  

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@vandalism well i mean i work in clients homes i only see a supervisor once a week lol the kids i work with are the only reason this job is worth it! im just hoping their lies and poor ethics don’t make me look bad for a future employer. i’m almost done with my degree and i can’t wait for that  start my actual career.  

Answer 9

I would ride it out to take advantage of the maternity leave then leave after you return to work. Then at least you’ll get some pay while you have a new baby.  

Comments

@dedans7492 the maternity leave isn’t paid at all

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@bureaucratize do you get short term disability? Do not quit yet. You might talk to someone at the Dept of Labor about filing a hostile environment claim. They can authorize a lawsuit.  

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@hackberry i’m calling labor and industries tomorrow morning and asking them what the best course of action is. i don’t qualify for any type of leave. MAYBE if my doctor puts me on maternity leave soon i can get short term disability through the state. based on the website!  

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@bureaucratize it’s the US Dept of Labor. Good luck!  

Answer 10

I would wait. You will be taking u laid maternity leave soon. Plan to find a new job and then quit. It is easier to get a new job if you are still employed. Employers assume there is something wrong with you when you have gaps in employment.  

Comments

@campo6 im not sure if i can physically and mentally keep going. i see my doctor this week and i’m going to ask what she thinks with my current state of pregnancy. i’m also finishing up my degree this year and have to do an internship shortly after my leave is over. i don’t think i could start a new job anyway  

Answer 11

If you really feel like they’re trying to push you out, I would hang on. They may be waiting until you have the baby to let you go so you can’t try to file a lawsuit. At that point you would be able to collect unemployment. I absolutely would not quit. I know how hard it is, I’ve had jobs where they’ve made my life a living hell. But you can last 25? more work days. Every hour you work is more money towards financial freedom

Comments

@crepuscular it just makes me so sad to not have the time with my daughter. only to be stressed out every day and come home so exhausted and swollen. i’m just wondering if it’s worth it all  i’m having major mom guilt

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I totally understand I had that mom guilt with my kids too. But it’s literally only MAYBE 25 work days until you go on leave. You’ve made it this far. Temporary suffering for the greater good. Being able to provide for your daughter and get your family in a better place financially will be worth it in the long run. I know how exhausting kids and pregnancies are but don’t give up so close to the finish line. Especially if you have no plans to go back. Stick it out and take advantage of the job and pay while you can.  

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@bureaucratize You have a few weeks until you are home full time. Girl, you got this. a few more weeks. A few more weeks. A few more weeks. You can do anything for a few more weeks. Show your daughter love and how persistence pays off. You will be together 24/7 in June!  

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@crepuscular yeah i know that’s the right thing to do financially! i’m going to talk to my doctor because i do have some complications going on and see if she agrees.  i’ll really try  

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@vandalism haha honestly a newborn and my daughter alone sounds stressful  and schoolwork. i wish i could have the time alone with her before baby boy is here. the struggle is real

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@bureaucratize It’s the same struggle we all have. we all do the best we can. You are part of what we all struggle with. I invite you to set intentions. Once you are home this summer, set boundaries between school time and family time. Most families only have a couple of hours DAILY. You will have the gift of being home to nurture your children for a short period of time before you start a career. It will be EXACTLY what you make it. Reframe your situation and you will see the absolute joy in it. You will never have another summer like this one - enjoy it, even with all it craziness.  

Answer 12

If you can financially swing it (keeping in mind that you won't have to pay childcare for the toddler, decrease in gas $, etc) then I would give them a date (whenever suits your fancy) and quit. You aren't going to be fired, unfortunately- they will just hang on for 5 more weeks making your life miserable. You aren't getting any benefit from staying other than the income. So I would sit down, what's the loss of income compared to not having to pay child care? Is it worth it or not. Try to make it as objective as possible. Even if you choose to stay 5 more weeks you will be fine! The end is in sight and YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!  

Comments

@ingenious thank you! if my fiancé didn’t get a pay cut it would be such an easy decision! but if he gets a second job then yes. i’m leaving! not worth the mental and physical stress  

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@bureaucratize hang in there! ❤️

Answer 13

I would quit citing health concerns and covid, apply for unemployment and see if you get approved. The base period would be 2019 so not on this companies wages. It's worth a shot. Even if denied you should leave. This company is a shit show and unlikely to improve no matter what you do

Comments

@donny yes, that’s how i feel! i’m also working in people’s homes and i keep getting sick. it’s ridiculous  so on top of them being unethical i really am risking a lot. i have a lot to think about over the next week

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@bureaucratize good luck. Do what's best for you and your family

Answer 14

I was in a similar situation and I’m a single mom with 2 kids. After 5 years, I quit. My only regret is I didn’t do it sooner. It will work out! I didn’t even have another job lined up, I was so scared! But it was the best thing I ever did!  

Comments

@jeopardy yes i wasn’t going to stay with this company long anyway because i’ll be finished with my degree in december and can go into my desired career! i definitely don’t want to regret not leaving when i had the chance!  

Answer 15

You and your mental health is more important if you can swing it even though it may be uncomfortable financially. Also on a different note my husband got fired once by a boss who was AWFUL. Like I was begging my husband to report this guy's awful unprofessional behavior. He wouldn't. But he was able to get unemployment because they didn't fire him in the way that they're supposed to. Anyway, sorry you're dealing with this. I think peace is more important. You will have so much relief I'd you let it go.  

Comments

@alius20 thank you! yes i think my mental health is more important. I think there’s so many unethical things happening and I’m not okay with being any part of it or being treated this way.  

Answer 16

I worked at a place that drained me mentally and physically. I never realized it until the opportunity to leave presented itself. Your mental state isn't worth it. Get out is my advice. The money situation will work out somehow. It's even harder to regain yourself than it is to get a hold. on finances, IMO. Good luck

Comments

@kurdistan thank you so much! i agree

Answer 17

I’m not an HR person but I do know there are laws that prevent employers from mistreating, harassing, & being prejudiced against pregnant employees. If your performance & attitude have been fine and you’ve followed protocol as far as notifying them of time off then there *may* be a bigger issue at play. If you think all roads circle back to you being pregnant & them trying to force you to leave then I’d spend some time documenting as much as you can recall with dates & specifics and then call an attorney. Most will give you a free consultation.  

Comments

@blond i’m not sure it’s based on my pregnancy. the two people who just quit due to similar treatment aren’t pregnant. it’s just them pushing me away for whatever reason! i’m probably just going to leave this job soon.  

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@bureaucratize Well as awful and stressful as the situation is I am glad at least that does not appear to be the reason why. Honestly Chloe? Sometimes the people who run a business and/or the culture there is just dysfunctional or toxic. Leaving a job when there’s not one to go to is not easy let alone in the times our economy finds itself in now. That said - I would not let fear of that keep me in a place that was unhealthy for me physically and emotionally ESPECIALLY while I was pregnant. Stay well and best of luck to you!  

Answer 18

If you are 8. 5 months pregnant are we talking about another 2 weeks of working? If so I would just hang in there. But the real question you need to ask yourself is if this is a place you want to return to when you have a new baby. I would say it’s not and if you don’t have benefits, etc. why keep this job? I would just hang on the next few weeks and find a new job when you are ready to go back to work.  

Comments

@tavie it’s another 5 weeks. pregnancy is weird and the time frame makes no sense  i’m in my 8th month. but yes you’re right it’s not worth it  i won’t be going back.  

Answer 19

Go to the EEOC website and research what you need to do to file a complaint against the company. I worked as a paralegal in the employment section of a law firm - I'm not offering legal advice, but what I noticed while working in that section is that most companies get really nervous with the EEOC gets involved. Plus, you don't need an attorney to file an EEOC complaint. Anyway, check their website to see if there is anything they can do to help. Good luck

Comments

@bipetalous528 Mary thank you so much!  

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@bureaucratize I hope everything gets worked out!  

Answer 20

If you haven’t already, provide a written response to your review and your write up. Your employer could use the documents, if needed, to protest unemployment or defend any claim you make if you do get let go.  

Comments

@battologize yes! i just wrote a letter yesterday that i’ll be submitting. thank you!  

Answer 21

I would file an EEOC claim stat.