Question

Needing advice.  I need to move my family into our own place (away from a toxic relationship).Needing advice. I need to move my family into our own place (away from a toxic relationship). Do I try to purchase a home or rent? Either way I'll need a 2nd job to cover things. - credit score is 686 - bring home pay is $2200/mo - car will be paid off in August - EF is only at $1000 - still $3500 in debt - no bills are currently in my name so I'll have to have deposits on everything - average rent for a 3 bedroom is $1000, there's 4 of us. Son 16, daughter 15, daughter 9 and myself.  

Answer 1

I would rent for now. Home ownership comes with a lot of surprise expenses and stress.  

Answer 2

Move out. Toxic not good, never will be

Comments

@mohock I agree it will never be good.  

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@simonasimonds36 go girl, take yours and run like a chicken with the colonel chasing you! Succeed!  

Answer 3

I would rent until all debt is paid, you minimize bills and you have a good amount of savings!  

Answer 4

How old are your children? Is a 3-bed absolutely necessary? I am completely with getting you & your children out of a toxic relationship HOWEVER $1000 rent when your take home is only $2200 is going to be tough! Sending my love & hugs! Hope everything works out for you!  

Comments

@fragonard9 we can manage in a 2 bedroom depending on bedroom size making rent around $750. It's going to be tough. A 2nd job will be needed no matter what.  

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@simonasimonds36 Do you have dependable (and safe) childcare?  

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@fragonard9 the older two will watch her but other than that I do not.  

Answer 5

Rent something smaller. Kids can share a room for the time being

Answer 6

Definitely rent. If it’s a matter of safety, the rental process will get you out of the situation much quicker than the purchase process.  

Answer 7

I wouldn’t recommend purchasing a house until you’re able to get your credit score up. The interest rates on your mortgage will be high with any credit score under the mid-700’s, which means that every month you pay your mortgage, a larger portion will go towards the interest than the principal. In the long-run, it could potentially get you into deeper debt. especially when you consider the increase in costs for maintenance as a homeowner (lawn care, unexpected plumbing issues, painting, furnishing the new home, heater and AC maintenance, property taxes, etc. ) Wishing you the best of luck in your fresh start!  

Answer 8

I would definitely rent until you get all debt paid off and get a lot more savings together

Answer 9

I would rent to get out of toxicness. What I’ve learned this year is that I can be happy in smaller place. Even if you have to get a one bedroom to save a little money. Small steps to a bigger goal  

Answer 10

I also would get a smaller more affordable place like $500-600/month rent.  

Comments

@casper that is a 2bd 1 ba trailer in a rough neighborhood for this area.  

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@simonasimonds36 sounds good to me. You gotta stick with what you can afford. It's only temporary

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@casper if it wasnt for my kids I'd go for it. I'm not going to leave them alone while I work 2 jobs in a bad neighborhood.  

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@simonasimonds36 find something small in a decent neighborhood then. Studio, 1 bedroom

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@casper there's 4 of us (me, 2 teens of the opposite sex and a 9yr old). We may could manage in a 2 bedroom but no way in something smaller.  

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@simonasimonds36 do whatever you feel you need to do. Everything works out in the end just might take a bit longer for you

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@simonasimonds36 Yes! Agreed! With kids, neighborhood is key. Find the cheapest place in the best neighborhood.  

Answer 11

I'd move asap and rent. Get away from the toxic and work on improving that credit and saving up more.  

Answer 12

Definitely rent. I’d want a much more padded EF to take care of home repairs before thinking of buying.  

Answer 13

Getting your family out of that situation is priority. I would rent for the time being, as home ownership can be more stressful, however, it can often be cheaper than renting. We’ve had to buy homes twice because renting was the more expensive option. Find something smaller if you can, pay off your debt and save the money for a down payment on a house.  

Answer 14

That rent is pretty fair. It can be done but it will be hard at $2200 a month. If there are 2 bedrooms available and your children are ok to share I would look into that for the time being.  

Answer 15

Id rent. See if you can find a 2 bedroom with a den or dining room if its available. That could potentially save some money and give everyone the space they need.  

Answer 16

If it’s a toxic relationship you’re getting away from id say rent because it’s faster to complete a rent process than a home. Purchasing a home can be a 1-3 month process sometimes longer. Once there you can look at your new financial situation and work out numbers to see if you can start the process of getting a home. I don’t want to get into your personal life but keep in kind that considering the ages your children have they need a lot of mom so maybe a second job and a house can be put on hold while you fix whatever is happening at home. In the mean time you can tackle on any debt and in the long run this will leave you more $$ for your future house.  

Answer 17

I would rent. With $2200, I month income I wouldn't want to own the issues a house comes with.  

Answer 18

I’d rent as well and instead of getting a second job see if u can get an all inclusive place for decent price even if it’s super small; try to apply for jobs where u may make more but don’t sacrifice the time with ur kids

Answer 19

Rent. You don't have funds for earnest money. Inspection fees, down payment, closing costs, appliances, move in costs, deposits for utilities, etc. Look into a large apartment complex. They might offer free or reduced rent in exchange for work on the property.  

Answer 20

Rent until you have more money in savings. Home ownership is expensive. For example, in the last couple of months we have spent $400 on a new window, $300+ to fix our AC, $60 for a service call, etc. you need a decent amount of savings.  

Answer 21

Could the teenagers work for own personal needs and to contribute some? I’ve been working since I was 13yr in my single mother of 2 household. It worked for me and my ma

Comments

@mitzvah87 one works weekends. The other is looking for a job. It's going to cause an issue when we move with transportation and a sitter for the 9 year old on the weekends I work.  

Answer 22

Rent because with that situation you aren’t ready for the unexpected stuff that can happen with your own home yet. Good luck.  

Answer 23

Definitely rent. In addition to the stress of leaving a toxic relationship, you don't need to added stress of buying a home and then home ownership. Get someplace where you are away from the relationship and just breathe. Then you can start putting a plan in to place for the future. You may not make the best decisions right now if you were to try to buy a home.  

Answer 24

I wanted to add that it is brutal to get a mortgage. We are trying to refinance. More than 50% equity, six figure income, 800+ credit score and I feel like they put us through the ringer. It is so rediculous the questions they ask that I almost pull the plug. It is also taking a very long time to close. I would recommend renting.  

Answer 25

Rent. Take care of yourself and ease into things. No need to have the extra stress of a house.  

Answer 26

Try applying for a better paying job so hopefully you can work one job instead of juggling two. Many folks don't think that there's a job out there that will pay them more than their current job, so they don't even look or apply. Best of luck to you mama  

Answer 27

Is moving in with family temporarily a possibility? There will be unexpected expenses when moving on your own plus another adult to help with teens is never a bad idea! Prayers you find a great solution fast!  

Comments

@czarism it isn't. I do not have family around and honestly I'm not close to any of them. I've pretty much been on my own since I was 16.  

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@simonasimonds36 then you’re a survivor. Just go woth as small as you can afford. Sunrooms with a curtain can make a great 3rd bedroom. I completely understand not wanting kids to live in a bad area. Is moving to a cheaper town an option?  

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@simonasimonds36 Friends can also be a support system. Find them and let them know you need their support during this time. Even if you don’t move in with them.  

Answer 28

When you looking at adds for rents for a three bedroom always check the two bedrooms as well Somethings there is an extra room / space with no closet so they cannot call it a three bedroom or charge for a three bedroom Look at all the adds carefully. Hope that helps :)

Comments

@runthrough I'm looking at all options.  

Answer 29

I would rent until you know more about how long your situation will go on and are you going to stay in same area or move.  

Answer 30

Have you got a safe way to save this? A trusty friend? Make sure your psssports and legal docs are kept somewhere else. I wish I could be closer and help. I hope you have someone x

Comments

@himation thank you for this advice.  

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@simonasimonds36 I would say the same about your money. See if you can get an account with the bank that they don’t contact you about - I seem to remember banks will do this. Post no cards / statements etc.  

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@himation I have a PO box. He has no actual clue about my finances or anything I do if I'm honest.  

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@simonasimonds36 that is great xx all the best

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@himation thank you

Answer 31

Please call your local women’s shelter and see what resources they can offer. Wishing you the best. Stay safe.  

Answer 32

I just went to my first NACA workshop and I highly recommend looking into that. They will come up with a plan for you to buy. I would rent something modest and small that you’re able to save money while living there just because getting out of a toxic environment is first priority and renting is a lot faster of a process than buying

Answer 33

I would rent. You need savings for buying a house.  

Answer 34

I’m in a similar situation. Renting a 3 bedroom home in an older neighborhood for $925. It’s super good to know any repairs or maintenance issues are handled with a phone call. Rent now — buy later. You’ve got a lot to work through and finding a just-right home to purchase is something that can wait. Good luck! And get out ASAP.  

Answer 35

I say rent first. Establish what exactly you want. I’m glad I did when I moved on my own. 3 years after my ex and I split I’m just now buying a condo for my son and I but I came to that conclusion and reasoning on my own because even though I can buy a house I’m still not ready so I’m using this as an investment property for whenever I do buy a house

Answer 36

Buying is an event in itself. You’re already about to go through an event of separating. I would rent. Also - depending on toxicity - get a new cell phone with a new phone #, pre-pack anything sentimental and stash somewhere safe until you’ve left, get a support system, secure all kids’ important papers and document everything, and have witnesses if you can! Just a few other helpful hints.  

Answer 37

Rent, but keep in mind that when they check your income they are usually looking for an monthly income of 3x rent.  

Answer 38

Rent first to get away from the toxic relationship. You’ll have time to decide where you ultimately want to live and save for it.  

Answer 39

Rent or stay with family for awhile. You wouldn’t have enough for a down payment (even if it’s only like 3%), and buying a home is a big undertaking.