Question

My boyfriend (26) and I (24) have both decided to make the scary decision to move away from our stable jobs here in Norfolk, VA and start over in Austin, TX. But not until May 2022! He’s navy, that’s when he will be able to get out. I’m an admin for my moms real estate team. We don’t make bank but we make good money, and it’s consistent so it’s scary to walk away. I think stability plays a big role in happiness, or at least for me it does. But we are still pretty unhappy here. Our unhappiness definitely stems from a lack of community, and not from a lack of trying these last few years. It just really doesn’t feel like Virginia is “our vibe” but Texas has felt so much like home the few times we’ve visited together. So as scary of a financial decision it is, especially with no savings (I just started BBP last Friday! ) I think it’s the right decision for us, and luckily we have time to prepare & save. We are supposed to sit down & break down two large savings goals tonight. One savings that will be a security deposit & 3 months of rent, and another that will be for packing up all our stuff we want to keep and getting it halfway across the country. Other than that- do you have any other advice on preparing for a big move? *edit: Austin, Texas is home for my significant other, it’s where we have a great group of friends. He misses home so much, and I miss our friends too. That’s why we are moving there despite it being on the expensive side. Not just because  

Answer 1

Austin is crazy in property taxes and rental prices. It’s crazy in traffic too. Look for places near Austin then commute.  

Answer 2

I’m willing to bet if you put your mind to it, you’ll have some savings in 2 years  you got this. Austin is beautiful and everyone I know that lives there loves it. Perfect time to travel around and find your home when you can  as an admin, your job is plentiful there.  

Answer 3

I lived in Austin for about 6 years. Have you been there before? Do you plan on renting or buying? Both have risen considerably over the years. I was a real estate agent there, I’m now a broker in Florida. There’s a ton of real estate offices there. Are you going to stay in real estate? What is your boyfriend’s plan for work after the navy?  

Comments

@eosin this is actually a big source of the stress for me as we don’t have set career plans outside of taking classes & getting work right away as servers or I’m hoping to get another admin job. We would just be renting for a bit while we continue to save to buy a house

Answer 4

Ok, I have tons of advice because we just move states like 6 months ago. But the one thing I would look into is what kind of moving expenses will the Navy pay for when your boyfriend EAS'. When my husband got out of the Marines a few years ago, they paid for his final move. That would help a lot! :)

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@maynardmayne5 oooh I didn’t know that was a thing I’m definitely going to find out!  

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@maynardmayne5 Yup this! They should pay for his final move to his home of record if that’s Texas or you can pay the mileage difference.  

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@grow20 it is Texas so that’s amazing thank you!  

Answer 5

I was born and raised in Austin. All of my family lives there still. It is extremely extremely expensive to live there. I would not move without a savings!  

Answer 6

I live in Austin! It's a great city.  

Answer 7

It’s expensive! Plan accordingly  

Answer 8

You could always sell a bunch of stuff and buy it second hand or at the dollar store etc once there so it's less to move.  

Comments

I’ve search long & hard for my vintage pieces, like my vintage ethan allen velvet pink couch haha. there’s lots we will give up but so much I won’t because it’s not just something you can go get at a target or ikea

Answer 9

Pay attention to the TGPS class, and go with him. Take it at least twice!  

Answer 10

I moved from Ohio to Colorado without knowing anyone or even having a job! I was stationed out there 15 years earlier, so I knew the lay of the land. I sold everything I didn't deem essential and just went! It all worked out. I got a great job and had a wonderful life until my dad got ill and I needed to come back home. When I got out there I bought my furniture from estate sales and private sales. SO much cheeper that way and still had really nice stuff. Save as much as you can now and enjoy the adventure that awaits you!  

Answer 11

If you’re planning so far out, why not buy?  

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@faraday Long I am saving to buy a house but I’m not prepared to buy a house in a city i’ve never lived in. I’d like to rent for a year or two & find the areas I love most/see how committed to the area I am. Part of me just wants a tiny house on wheels haha but my SO isn’t into the idea

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@thermos97 just here to say VERY SMART DECISION! I lived in my community for 5 years before buying (other circumstances-but I wanted to rent to know the area before buying) and now living in a house for 5 years I’m learning this isn’t my ideal spot either and have since been looking but I would’ve been miserable if I bought in an area I didn’t know yet.  

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@lanoralanose yes exactly I moved so much growing up it takes a lot for me to be like “yep this is where I want to be” haha

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@thermos97 makes sense! good luck.  

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@faraday Long thank you!  

Answer 12

I just want to say I lived in hampton roads (Hampton, VA actually) and 100% understand what you are saying. It didnt feel like home at all.  

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@zeidman it’s TERRIBLE. the people here are so cold & closed off

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@thermos97 Maybe the 2 of you should get together after the quarantine is over.  

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I'm in Hampton Roads as well and it can be rough.  

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I dont live there anymore. I'm now living in japan.  

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@zeidman what is up with the east coast being like this? virginia in particular.  

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@faraday Long I'm originally from NC and its nothing like VA. I just think the hampton roads area is too crowded and lots of crime. If you went along the coast of NC it's a totally different atmosphere.  

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I live in Hampton Roads (Suffolk) but originally from N. C. Been here most of my life. If you want to move to another area the first thing I would do is scout out potential careers and pay to cost of living. You have time to do this. Hampton Roads can be a strange place because of all the military it’s like a transient place for a good portion of the population. Austin is nice but has a high cost of living. Much more trendy and techy there too.  

Answer 13

Texas is a great place to live. Austin is on the high end for expenses, but very pretty.  

Answer 14

Make sure he takes his TAPS classes and uses all resources available to him for when he gets out.  

Answer 15

I live in Austin with my boyfriend. We met when he was still in the Army, stationed at Fort Hood (hourish north of Austin). He now works for a company that does background investigations for people getting security clearances. The Austin group is still small and needing to grow. If your boyfriend enjoys talking to different people every day, he should check it out. I would highly recommend that one or both of you have something lined up before you get here. While there are tons of jobs, it’s really hard to get one. Most jobs seem to require a good deal of networking, rather than just applying online. My last job hunt took 6 months (unemployed the whole time) and I ended up working for a company based in San Francisco! You are being smart by not rushing in to the move. If you have opportunities to visit, I would highly recommend that as well.  

Answer 16

If you're looking to buy, I would check out surrounding areas especially if you're just serving. Cost of living is slightly cheaper but you can still enjoy city benefits. We live and work an hour outside but travel whenever we want to do things. The plan is to buy in the suburbs 30 min away in the next 5 years.  

Answer 17

Austin is definitely one of the more expensive cities in Texas so I’d save save save and try to line up a job for one or both of you before arriving.  

Comments

Also- depending on what you love about Texas, Austin may or may not be the best fit. It’s definitely not a typical Texas town so something to consider too  

Answer 18

Because I’ve though about moving to Texas too, when you guys who have commented saying Austin is expensive, compared to California, would you still consider it expensive?  

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Cassidy, No. California is expensive as it is one of the most expensive states to live in. Austin is expensive to us in Texas. I’m in Houston and cost of living is one of the best compared to larger major cities.  

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@dorton Austin is becoming a hub for people moving from California. It’s cheap comparing to California but with that being said all of the authentic Austin things are being killed and it’s no longer what Austin used to be. It’s mow multi level condos and historic houses are being torn apart and remodeled because it’s cheaper to do so here. It’s sad really. Austin lost its charm years ago. Not blaming California, it’s the constant influx of people in general.  

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What’s probably the most family friendly, affordable place to live in Texas? I’ve driven through Amarillo but never stopped but stayed in San Antonio near Sam Houston for a graduation and was not super happy about that bisit

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On average 124 people a day move to Austin from California, and since they are used to a higher market, it is driving up the market here! So in 2 years time, who knows!  

Answer 19

If you're looking to use your current skills to help avoid downtime in income during your move, you could potentially work online as an admin for other real estate teams as well potentially. Might help with the transition.  

Answer 20

Austin is great but housing can be expensive so plan accordingly. I’m in a studio and it’s $1300. I moved here cross country 8 years ago after college for IT work. I brought hardly anything with me. It was cheaper to just rebuy a lot of bigger things here then bring it with me.  

Answer 21

Excited for you!  

Answer 22

Texas is great but Austin is very expensive, plus the traffic is horrible. I lived just south of there for about 10 years. San Antonio is nice and spread out with a better highway system. The hill country is beautiful too.  

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@diamante72601 @hotfoot71140 it’s comparable to cost of living where Im at and we have ridiculous traffic here too  

Answer 23

I agree Austin is a little spendy. We lived in Round Rock and I loved it but we had to move back to SD for family but I would love to go back it's so nice there and I loved it

Answer 24

My husband isn’t army, but we also came to the decision in the next few years we’re going to become 100% debt free and settle in Dallas Tx! I’d YouTube videos, I heard of people acquiring jobs without a in person interview.  

Answer 25

Have you been to Austin lately? It’s expensive, has horrible traffic and homeless problems. I live 30 mins outside of Austin and would never recommend living in Austin. The cost of living around here is astronomical.  

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@hotfoot71140 I have a few times I love it, and it’s only a little higher cost of living wise then where I’m at

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@thermos97 Okay, then enjoy! I personally can not stand it but we’re kinda stuck here.  

Answer 26

Born and Raised in Austin and still here. I’m also in real estate admin (hello ) sounds like you got a good plan you’ll find less expensive rents in the surrounding areas. But I love Austin, I travel a lot and always love coming home to this city (even though it’s grown by leaps and bounds since I was a kid)

Answer 27

Me and my husband relocated after getting married. For some their can be a period of depression when you make a big change like that. It has been said it can equal to losing a loved one. After 3 years I got over mine, it might be a lot easier for you since moving to Texas seems like a better fit for your lifestyle. All that being said; the faster you make friends and connect with your community the better. Join some MeetUp app groups. Find a church if you go to church. Make friends on Instagram linked in and Facebook right now in your field or profession. Attend networking events. The hardest part is over once you have networked and found new friends and liked minded professionals. The rest is easy after that as long as you have hard work and positive optimistic attitude. Best wishes, Austin sounds like a great place to live.  

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@bane5244 we have so many friends in san antonio & austin, that’s a big reason we want to move because here we don’t have any friends. I also loved a lot growing up, every 1-2 years just about so I adjust quickly! thank you!  

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Nice! Sounds like your happy place. Me and my husband live in California where we moved it’s really expensive; but we also have friends family now and good business here so it doesn’t matter. We find happiness where we are and we make a good living now even tho in the beginning it was tough. 10 years now it goes by so fast.  

Answer 28

If it doesn't feel right, it's not right! I loved living in Norfolk in my early 20s but then moved to Virginia Beach when I met my husband. It didn't feel like home. I moved to Williamsburg and have never been happier. Do what feels right and just save save save because you'll have a lot of random things pop up with a move. Also I personally would rent first to figure out exactly where you want to live.  

Answer 29

We moved to TX 13 years ago when my husband got out of the Marine Corps. He lived in TX before he enlisted so we decided to move here for the lower cost of living. He was stationed in CA where I was born and raised. Mistake #1: we put money down on a new build before moving here. We lived far south Austin and it turns out I didn’t like living there. After the housing market crashed we were stuck in our house and could not move because the value dropped. I *highly* recommend renting and seeing if you like where you live before buying. Mistake #2: We did not research property taxes. Property taxes in TX are high. We fell in love with a new gated community and wanted a brand new house. The subdivision across the street had lower taxes, and bigger lots. Our subdivision was not on septic and had the cost of the sewer lines in our taxes for 30 years. A gated community means you pay for road maintenance. My personal experience with Austin is that it has changed so much, not for the better. We are in Travis County, not in Austin city limits and rarely go into the city. You may like Round Rock, Cedar Park, Pflugerville, Kyle, Buda. Lots of surrounding areas are nice. We have 7 years until my husband retires and our kids are out of school. We are not staying in TX. The pollen/Cedar Fever LITERALLY kills me. The sinus pain is nothing I have ever experienced in my life. The humidity is disgusting. We are both in agreement, thank goodness. There is a saying, I wasn’t born in TX but I got here as fast as I could. My saying is I wasn’t born in TX and can’t wait to leave.  

Answer 30

Can you afford Austin? I’m from there and moved away 6 years ago. I couldn’t afford to move back if I wanted to. You won’t be able to live in the city limits unless you make a lot of $$$. 100+ people a day have been moving to Austin since 2000. It’s fun which is why everyone wants to live there but I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have a great job.  

Answer 31

Austin is VERY expensive to live

Answer 32

I love Austin!  

Answer 33

I lived in Austin all my life and moved to Kyle ( 20 mins south ) like 10 years ago. I will literally do anything to avoid going into Austin traffic sucks so bad I can’t stand it and it’s gotten expensive  

Answer 34

I'm in Norfolk, too! Hey neighbor!  

Comments

@winterize hi!  

Answer 35

I am in Austin! Homes are not cheap here.  

Answer 36

You’ll love Texas!  

Answer 37

@thermos97, you are so wise to ask people! I moved from California to Washington state 12 years ago, and I was wrecked for a long time by the constant overcast and rain, lack of good Mexican restaurants and other things I had no idea about. Best wishes to you and your beloved! :) :)

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@mick Phillips i’ve visited a few times so I already know I’ll love it!  

Answer 38

Is he from VA? When a service person separates from the military they get one final move back "home" on the military's dime. He can do it himself and file the appropriate paperwork to offset moving expenses. There is a weight limit but if you are both able to keep your collective stuff under that limit the move could potentially cost nothing. He should talk to his higher ups to get the exact details on that. I know military culture favors traditional families but really try to plug into the Navy community, especially while you are in Norfolk. I TRULY miss the Navy friends that became family. We are no longer and active duty family anymore but my best friends are all over the country. If I could live in a Navy town again, I would do it in a heartbeat. The community is there, you just have to find them

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@sendal he’s from a couple hours outside of Austin so we are def going to look into having the navy move us- thank you! we hang out with his coworkers from time to time but we have very little in common with them

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@thermos97 then those are not your peeps. Keep looking!  

Answer 39

Sounds silly but see if you can move into a new construction apartment building. That’s what I did in NJ and everyone being new helped create a sense of community right away bc we were all in the same boat. Also a community with a lot of events - mine has food truck nights, game nights, paint and sips etc. To me one of the things that’s so hard in the space between school and kids is having a community to belong to and these things all helped me and will help regardless of where you move.  

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@myrwyn that’s a good idea! thank you

Answer 40

Austin is a college town, lots to do, it is expensive. Investigate communities around Austin. They run into each other.  

Answer 41

Oh my gosh ! I LOVE AUSTIN!  

Answer 42

Why cant he just asked to get stationed somewhere else and you go with?  

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@shizue4 there’s no navy base in austin

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Navy and air force commonly get stationed at army bases

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@shizue4 for what he does it wouldn’t happen but that would be pretty dang convenient! heck i’d even say let’s go as soon as our lease is up if the navy would let us  

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@shizue4 that usually never happens with the Navy. My husband has been for 16 yrs and not once has gotten stationed where he’s wanted to go. Last round of orders in 2017 we asked for Jacksonville, FL and got Japan ‍♀️ They send you where they want you to go. Not where you want to go. If you do get sent where you want to be it’s pure luck/coincidence and considered a miracle ‍♀️

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@hardpressed I did DOD travel for all branches of military including the state department. Youd be suprised how many people get stationed on army bases. I guess it just depends on your job‍♀️

Answer 43

Honestly, find a church community now. One that may have roots and connections where you are now, and where you will land. We have moved from Idaho to Utah to Houston, to Cleveland and Cincinnati, Ohio. Having a church door to walk through our first Sunday after each move gave us a home and community. We have felt so vulnerable and excited by the kind of adventures you’re setting to create. We have felt so alive and happy in the midst of the challenges. Soooo worth it!  

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@spiegel it does seem like church communities are nice to be in but we are not religious in that sense

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@thermos97 then my next suggestion would be to join a YMCA! That was another place we found community! And they’re across the country!  

Answer 44

Link with a real estate team there and connect

Answer 45

Let me know if you have any questions. I made that move in 2013 after i finished at Old Dominion University and having grown up in the Tidewater area after 15 years. I got lucky that even without any savings and some bad luck striking after my move I am still here in Austin almost 7 years later. Take your time, plan out your bigger expenses - how you are moving, where you are living, and try to plan for a small buffer just in case.  

Comments

@seldun89 aw yay it’s so nice to hear that this worked out for someone! definitely starting some major savings right away!  

Answer 46

Heads up, it's a 24hr drive 1700 miles from Norfolk to Austin.  

Comments

@seldun89 we make long drives all the time for music festivals etc  

Answer 47

Make sure to declutter all items that aren't being used or one's that you don't like. Go through all your clothes, books, and other things that take up a decent amount of space because you might not need all of it especially since Austin, TX doesn't have the same weather as Virginia. My sister moved from New Jersey to Alabama and it was rough.  

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@catchword0 yes I definitely have a lot of purging to do!  

Answer 48

Get a job first. See USAJOBS. gov Indeed. com The state's employment website and websites of larger local employers such as hospitals.  

Answer 49

Why Austin? I’m from the 757 (Chesapeake) and while I had community growing up, the area got too large and overgrown for me. I moved to Lynchburg/Forest, less than four hours away, and have found my home. You may not need to travel as far as you think. Plus, the cost of living is crazy inexpensive!  

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@canasta52900 because we have a great group of friends out there we miss so much, and my SO misses his home like crazy  

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Oh that’s completely understandable! I thought you all had just picked a random place  

Answer 50

I left out the part where Austin, Texas is home for my SO & we have a great group of friends there. That’s why we chose there despite it being more expensive  I appreciate the advice but the location isn’t going to change  

Answer 51

I feel like it’s hard to plan for something like that when it’s not happening for 2 years. You can’t look for a new job now and you can’t really look at houses/apts now either. Also, I have friends who live in Austin looking to move out of that area due to how expensive it is. I would weigh all of your options heavily before up and leaving financial security you have now  

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@grow20 McGee Dickerson oh yes we are definitely mapping everything out before we just say “f it let’s gooo” haha the cost of living is comparable to where we live now we are looking into starting online classes now as well. I’m also going to approach my current job and (but more professionally lol) be like “see how I’ve been working from home due to COVID-19? what if I did this. but in Austin? ” and hope it works well. only main issue is I coordinate all of our events, which we have a lot of. he’s looking into staying reserved so he will have a little tie to the navy still & have some benefits

Answer 52

Definitely take advantage of the Navy paying for his ETS move even if they’ll only take you to his HOR and not Austin exactly. My husband just separated from the Army in January and we road tripped from Maryland to California (we have two dogs so flying was out of the question. ) We still spent about 3k between roadtrip costs and things like registering our cars to California

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@robertaroberto yes I am so happy that’s a thing! He hasn’t responded if his HOR is Austin or Abilene but it’s only a 3hr difference between the two so that will be so helpful

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@thermos97 oh and make sure to keep all of your receipts just in case! I think we only had to submit receipts for our gas expenses but I still kept receipts for everything except food because I already knew food is supposed to come out of our per diem and we wouldn’t get reimbursed

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Oh and definitely pack as much as you can into your car! You get paid by the weight so the heavier your car is, the more you’ll get paid. My trunk was filled to the brim and we put things wherever we could like underneath the seats and on the little ledge behind the back seats

Answer 53

I love Austin! I thought it was so much cheaper, compared to living in the northeast. I didn’t think traffic in Austin was bad at all. Try driving in rush hour on 95 or over the GW Bridge in NYC. I’d move to Austin in a minute, if it weren’t for the heat. But I wouldn’t live anywhere else in Texas though.  

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@monniemono Iannotti yeah I have terrible traffic where I’m at right now so I don’t think that would be a huge issue for me! I’m going to try and get my current job to let me work remote- that would be even better haha. the heat is def something that makes me nervous! after shutdown we are planning a summer trip out there so I can see if I can handle it lol

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@thermos97 I went at the end of October. I was still wearing flip flops and dresses. Everyone else was wearing jeans and boots and long sleeve shirts. I was dying lol

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@monniemono Iannotti haha I actually love the heat! but i’ve heard texas heat can be intense lol. I am very much over cold virginia weather though

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@thermos97 the heat in Austin feels worse bc of the humidity. I’m in Tucson now which is also hot as hell. Humid heat & dry heat both suck at 110 degrees  

Answer 54

My husband is stationed at Norfolk but we live @dichlorodiphenyltri City. He’s been wanting to move to TX too when he retires (most likely 2024-2025). But I want GA  I first would like to ask how long he’s been in? As long as it’s less than 10yrs I say go for it! You’ll find the money and great jobs too no matter where you go. The economy should be up and running and thriving by them anyways  

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@hardpressed he’s been in under 10 years! He has zero desire to stay in, he can hold it together at work and isn’t a downer about it but he’s very much ready to get out and go home. I’m trying to get him to really consider his post navy career choices and make something happen before we move!  

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@thermos97 I met my husband going into year 11 and he was ready to get out. I said heck no! You crazy?!  But now at 16 yrs in he’s done. He wants out like yesterday. He’s actually gearing up for his 6th deployment here soon and might have another 2-3 deployments before he retires so he’s done and I don’t blame him. Even with the possibility of making good money we don’t care. We want hubby/daddy home. Money doesn’t matter to us. Nothing can replace having your loved one home. I get it! My husband wants to take a trip out to Austin, Waco, and San Antonio to get a feel for those areas to see if we would be interested in moving there after he retires. I want land and a small farm to help sustain our family (how nice would a farm be with things going on in today’s times?! ) so we will see how that goes. We have 4-5 yrs still thankfully! I’m hoping we can be in a better financial situation by then. I wish you guys nothing but the best! Go for dreams! Don’t let money stop you! ☺️

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@hardpressed we already know both sides of the family are going to get on our case about this, especially him leaving the stability & paycheck the navy provides. but I’m with you! money doesn’t matter when it’s at the cost of his safety & happiness!  

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@thermos97 amen!  The money isn’t worth it. Honestly. If my husband was at yr 6 or less I would tell him to get out. But with 16 in it would just be plain stupid at the point for him to leave. But he’s miserable. He doesn’t want to deploy anymore and we don’t want him gone either. Stuff is just way to wishy washy in today’s world to be enlisted in my opinion. We are very much looking forward to retirement day! I’m sure the Navy background will help him secure a great job and of course the money will follow if you both are happy. I think that’s what’s most important. If you love your job then you’re more likely to succeed and with that comes more money. Please keep us updated! Can’t wait to see where you two go in life!  

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@hardpressed yes I definitely understand I would have told my so the same! you’re going to be sooo relieved when deployments are a thing of the past! I definitely will, thank you so much!  

Answer 55

There will be networking opportunities on his way out and with the people he has already served with. Make sure he pays attention in TAP and absorbs all of it. The one I went through in Alaska was amazing. We just moved from Alaska to Missouri 2 years ago. Well hubs did I was already down here since I moved and made him follow since I lost my job in Alaska right before I went on vacation to be in a family members wedding. Which is a story in itself lol. Fuel was about 3500 for that whole trip in a diesel. We had a trailer attached. I got out of the Air Force in 2015 hubs got out in 2013. Tap is a life saver and it teaches you so much. I was on a joint base in Alaska so it was the same tap for army and navy should be similar as it’s a congressional mandated item. Start looking about 3 months out at jobs and apply it is what I did for our move. I had something arranged as soon as I got here. (I originally moved to ok right after moving back down from Alaska and it didn’t work out there for me so I am back home in Missouri with family).  

Answer 56

When he gets out he will have one last move from his base to anywhere within his home of record mileage (if that makes sense). Do you guys plan on getting married before the gets out? There are lots of benefits to being married military but obviously don't get married just to do it. If he saves up leave he can cash that out, too.  

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Also, he can go to school once he gets out and collect BAH even if he goes to school online. My husband did that when he got out to bring in some extra money. He was in for 10 years and has been out for almost 5. It has been a big change but he is much happier.  

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@shocker I’m actually going to have us figure all of that out asap! but he will only be in for around 6 years I think? but we are going to work out our options and benefits soon

Answer 57

Hello from Chesapeake, VA!  

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@askew1968 hi there!  

Answer 58

Wow! This is amazing! The financial and moving plan you have. having community is so so so important! I can relate. I have wanted to move from my current location, too. I'm in Maryland. It sounds like an exciting decision! Best of luck with it all  

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@wisnicki thank you!