Question

Not sure what to think. some husbands don't want/like to budget. mine, he gives his check asks for a little spending money (which is often not even spent) and let's me control the finances. Well, I would like his opinion/input on some things too should I push it or let it be?  

Answer 1

Lord girl, let it be! So much better than the alternative! For big things, i would still want to run things by your husband. But mine constantly reminds me what a Great job i am doing since i took everything over. and he has peace (and so do i )

Answer 2

My husband doesn't know if we have $10 or $10K in the account. he can't even log on. I take care of all of the budgeting/bills and update on him big things like vacays, holidays, parties, household purchases, etc. I, for one, am happy he doesn't know the cost of hair/nails/beauty products :)

Answer 3

My husband is the exact same way. Gets his spending money and doesn’t ask any questions. I would love for him to be involved be he’s already said he’s not interested and trusts me to handle it. At this point I just let it be ‍♀️

Answer 4

Same here. He just doesn't care about the details and trusts that I have it under control. Lol. I appreciate how he goes with whatever I suggest, but I feel you on wishing he had a little more feedback sometimes. It can feel like I'm doing it all alone. He is watching some Dave Ramsey videos with me, and that's helped us talk about it more, but still he just doesn't have a lot of input.  

Answer 5

We do ours together every week! I’m excited because it’s payday today and I can stuff envelopes buuuut chaperoning the school dance soooo I’ll fill envelopes and pay my bills tomorrow! Hubs is paid Monday.  we will have enough leftover to pay off 1 cc!  

Answer 6

I make my husband read over the monthly plans and he will sometimes have a question or opinion about something but for the most part he usually just says "you've done it again. Looks good" I'd suggest not to push him but maybe tell him you'd like him to look over what you do! My husband's dad passed away young and unexpectedly. His mom didn't know how to take care of this stuff cause his dad always took care of it and now we have debt because of that. I always tell him I need him to at least understand this stuff in case anything were to happen to me he has to know how to financially take care of himself and our babies. With his personal experience we think it's important for both partners to at least understand how everything works! Not trying to be morbid. Just a different perspective to think about ‍♀️

Comments

@marinelli my thought exactly! I worry he won't even know how to check the balance online.  

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@haematoblast79865 maybe just tell him that and that he doesn't have to do it. Just watch/look at one thing a month so it's not overwhelming for him all at once! My husband and I are very blunt with each other so I told him straight forward "if I die you're screwed so look and learn". That's not for everyone's relationship though  

Answer 7

Lol. mine is about the same. we are debt free but during our journey of paying off debt, I still did all the "legwork", but just kept him in the loop. Our utilities and cash envelopes rarely change now, so kinda boring, actually, lol. As long as he has his cash, hes good.  

Answer 8

I move all of our money but I’m totally transparent about it. I even opened ‘my own’ new bank account to keep our sinking funds. We talk about everything first. And we work the budget together - I just actually move the money.  

Answer 9

Mines like 50/50. I don’t push for more lol mostly because we have two totally different ways we want to budget and I’m stubborn and want to only do it this way. He’s also not as cheap as I am - so we had to find a healthy balance that yes we can save - no not everything needs to be used or from a discount shop. But overall he trusts me to handle it and he knows I feel like a total failure when something doesn’t go to plan. He also celebrates with me when I’m super excited because we either come in under budget or when something bad happens I’m like bam we got it to cover it.  

Answer 10

I’ve asked my husband if he wants to be more involved. He says “I’ll find money to spend” and I told him that I just wanted him to see and be involved in how the decisions are made about where our money is going.  he wants no part. So I say. let it be. If he doesn’t want involvement just be thankful he is on the wagon with you instead of trying to light the wagon on fire like some husbands I’ve heard about

Comments

@argyrol you got me cracking up"light the wagon on ".  

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@friedland haha thanks  that’s what I feel like my husband is doing sometimes.  

Answer 11

Let it be but still inform him of what's happening so he is aware even if he wants you to deal with it. Just in case something happens to you then he should know what to do.  

Answer 12

This is my husband too. On very rare occasion he will check in to see how we are doing. other times I will just tell him just for my own sake to say I'm communicating our finances with him

Answer 13

Same. My husband doesn’t even know how to log onto our bank account. I just tell him how much is in the budget, he barely spends money, but checks to see if it’s in the budget and then gives me receipts so I can track it (this was difficult to get him to not lose them). I’ve tried to get him involved for like 10 years and he just doesn’t care and trusts that I can handle it. I talk to him about budgeting and what’s in our budget and all that, he just doesn’t want to or care to have any involvement. He does talk about stuff he wants to get or buy and asks how we can budget it - like bikes for the kids in the spring, wants that in the budget. I do my best to make it happen

Answer 14

Per Dave Ramsey and seems pretty good advice: There is usually a nerd and a free spirit in the relationship. The nerd (me) should do the budget and bring it to the free spirit (my husband) to look over, ask questions, and offer advice. That way the free spirit only spends a few minutes with the budget and the nerd gets to take their time and figure things out and such. What me and my husband do is pretty much this and when I have a choice to make about where to put a certain amount of money or how much to put where, I take it to my husband and get his take on the options. This way he is involved and I don't have to sit there and be fickle of how much to put where. My husband is not a bookkeeping type and works 80 hour weeks. I'm a SAHM who babysits as a side hustle and LOVES bookkeeping. So, it works for us this way.  

Answer 15

My husband doesn't participate in the bills/budget process. Not that he is against it, he's tried and wants to set up an elaborate thing that is never followed. It was more important when we were living paycheck to paycheck, and now I do the bills on a monthly basis. But he's eligible to retire in a few days. We are thinking another year from now. (He's turning 56). However, I told him we need to draw out a budget for what our income would be and live on that for six months to a year first. The other night we were going to sit down and work on it, and he felt ill. He's not mentioned it again. I told him that he must not want to retire as bad as he says. (He does). I told him I"m not going to be the only one doing this. (We don't fight about it, I just get frustrated). I've told him that one of my greatest fears is that I'd drop dead and he'd have no idea what to do banking and bill wise. That hasn't swayed him in the past. It doesn't help that I'm a CP@insalubrious so he feels intimidated when it comes to money. At least he's not a spender.  

Answer 16

That sounds like a situation to be grateful about.  

Answer 17

Let it be. He trusts you and you get to handle it your way. Seems like a win/win to me.  

Answer 18

Let it be lol  

Answer 19

My husband is much the same and I appreciate that he trusts me but I have asked him to sit down with me at the beginning of each month and let me talk through the previous month and the plan for the month ahead as an accountability time for me. He isn’t expected to make decisions but he can offer comments if he wants to. This way he is less likely to assume things are one way when they really are different and if something happens to one of us the other one is clear about our financial situation.  

Answer 20

Let it be!  

Answer 21

We have the same dynamic. I push him a little bit. We have a weekly "meeting" where we discuss the upcoming week, any expected expenses, and I update him on where our budget is sitting. If I have any banking decisions I have all the trust to just make a call but if I am not certain on my plan I will rope him in to talking it out with me, usually he says "it sounds like you know what you want to do" lol

Answer 22

Mu husband is the same way. I just let it be and give him updates.  

Answer 23

I try with mine. He says he knows i can get it taken care of. and he knows he'll ignore it until things get shut off. This works for us

Answer 24

Sounds like my daddy. Can I get a man to fork over his check lol

Answer 25

Girl if it isn't broken don't fix it

Answer 26

I just give him a quick run through if he asks lol he just wants to know how much he can spend and how much we put in saving s

Answer 27

I go over every payday our budget and budget calendar and bills. I explained to my husband it is important for him to know in case I get sick or something, he can manage and not stress. It was a gradual process, but he has been more actively involved. We have been married 15 years.  

Answer 28

I’m a SAHM and take care of our finances. We talk about it twice a month when he gets paid. He puts in his opinion on things which I love. We have the same goals and so close to being debt free. He now uses the phase “Its not in our budget” on me sometimes .  

Answer 29

Mine is the same way as yours but his pay changes weekly possibly by $200 so. we have a big white board and I give him a dry erase maker and I sit at the desk. He starts off with our checking balance with that weeks paycheck and then starts subtracting bills that are due before next payday and our envelope money. I call out whats due and he does the math so he actually sees it. We have been doing this for 4 weeks and we haven't had any problems and it has worked great.  

Comments

He messed up math wise this week :(

Answer 30

I make out the rough budget and then we sit down together to finalize. This is more how we are going to allocate to sinking funds, how much for birthday presents, etc. everything else is pretty consistent.  

Comments

@peeler this is what we do. He always reminds me of something small I may have forgotten. We are 2 months into this and still adjusting

Answer 31

Mine is this way, but I try to keep him in the loop. We sit down on Sunday to plan the week so I give him a 2 minute budget update and he asks if I want anything in particular for dinner or from the store (he does groceries, I do money).  

Answer 32

Let it be.  

Answer 33

Let it be, my husband is the exact same way and I use to push and we'd end up fighting. cus really he doesnt care he trust whatever decisions I make

Answer 34

My husband is the same. I just embrace it. I love his trust in me and he even told me the other day “I haven’t even looked at our account in over a month. ”

Comments

@theodosia that’s how my husband is. It is nice to be trusted. I have planned on doing little reports for him to see how things are going but I’m also pregnant and tired all of the time so. lol. He’s not worried so neither am I.  

Answer 35

Be careful what you ask for. Do you REALLY want his opinion or do you just want some praise and for him to see how hard you are working. Having his opinion means he gets a say and he gets part control. I don’t want my husbands opinion at all because he will drive me crazy trying to control it or change how I’m writing or allocating. He didn’t get the envelope thing until I showed him my challahs envelopes and we had an emergency and we actually had the cash. Stinks we had to use it but glad I saved it and had it.  

Answer 36

Mine is the same way. I just do it lol

Answer 37

Let it be

Answer 38

Let it be. Mine is the same way. I ask him his opinion but most of the time he is like whatever you think.  

Answer 39

Here too. He just needs gas $ and tobacco.  

Answer 40

It's great that he trusts you!  

Answer 41

My husband is the same. he doesnt even look at the accounts. I had to practically force him to take "pocket money". I tried withdrawing his pocket money and after three times he said just keep mine in the account. therefore Im just proceeding on!  

Answer 42

Mine is the same way. I say let it be if everything is going fine.  

Answer 43

I am now divorced but when we were married it was the same situation. He never wanted to be imvolved in the finances but Iboften felt bad for saying no to things because I was the finance manager. It wasn't the reason we divorced but it was a factor that always bothered me.