Question

This is just my personal opinion, thoughts, venting. I am in NO WAY saying my way is the right way and other ways are wrong. Just didn’t know if others felt the same way. How do you deal with not enjoying life? I couldn’t imagine not taking that vacation, going out to dinner with family, or going on an outing. It’s hard for me to say. “I won’t do anything for 2 years to get out of debt or save for a house”. We are NOT guaranteed tomorrow, I never want to miss out even if it means it takes me an extra year to get out of debt.  

Answer 1

My perspective has been that it has to do with different motivations. Some people do better going all in with strict rules & stay so motivated with big goals. I get defeated easily with that mindset so I prefer slow, steady, and little rewards & goals (from getting coffee to a weekend getaway) along the way.  

Answer 2

There are different kinds of vacations too - Disney sounds awful to me. My best vacations have not been the most expensive trip. Time away from work and with nature is important. Our current debt limits our future vacations, though. We lived beyond our means and it will take a little sacrifice to claw our way out. That’s my “stupid tax”.  

Answer 3

Struggle with it everyday. Hard to see other people living their best life and you’re just trying to get started to find your happiness

Answer 4

It’s not about not getting to do those things. It’s about setting yourself up so you’re better able to do those things without consequence in the future. It’s long term fun and happiness over instant gratification.  

Answer 5

I think you find balance. Don’t go into more debt to live your life. Save up for those things. Be responsible with your money. Don’t let your money rule you.  

Answer 6

You just have to find a balance. When budgets are too restrictive they fail. I meal plan and try to practice zero food waste. But when friends want to get together for dinner, we go. Just try not to do it more than weekly.  

Answer 7

I think for me it is two things. #1 - being happy with and having gratitude regardless of if we go out to eat or take long weekends regularly. #2 - having an "I get to" mentality. I get to stay home and make food for my family. I get to focus on savings because we are debt free. I get to take time to save up for a vacation in the summer with our family. I get to visit a place that is close to home and beautiful. etc etc etc. The past couple months my husband and I have really made a choice to limit eating out. We don't go out to eat because we love going out to dinner. We go out/order take out because we are tired and/or lazy. For us it is balance. We also know this spring/summer we will spend more because spring/summer months need us to be more flexible with dining out. I think it just ends up being to each their own. Hubby and I are good with our process. If you are good with your process then we are all happy! <3

Answer 8

I am 50. I have never went on a vacation. Outings are rare. I still enjoy life. We go out to dinner when we have a coupon or a special is going on. ($5 all you can eat salad bar is a family favorite). I don’t feel like I am missing out.  

Answer 9

I budget it in. I know we will go out for dinner, we just cut back on going so often.  

Answer 10

You doing all this so you can live, give and enjoy like no one else

Answer 11

There’s ways to enjoy life without breaking the bank or your financial goal. I’m my city we have a lot of events, yet my Ig then are free or discounted. For instance if you have children and have an chess card or know someone, then the please touch museum is $2 oppose to $$$. Another way id to find which movie theater has deals. When have a movie tavern that’s offers discounts on Groupon and restaurant week is pretty popular. As long as you budget fun money and find discounts in your city i think it’ll be fine.  

Answer 12

I agree with you. Life is short; however, I don’t want to be a slave to debt and stressed out over it. Everyone deals with it differently. I think we have to find balance that makes you happy  My mama had all of these dreams of going places, but she died before she could go to them. I am not gonna go off the deep end but I will work my butt off to get to enjoy traveling. ❤️ Enjoy life! It is too short and goes by fast

Answer 13

So I’ve been staying in with my guy watching movies and ordering takeout vs going out and doing things. A movie is now free when it would have been $30+ before for us + snacks, and dinner while it’s not totally cheap to order - when we’d go out we’d have a few glasses of wine or beer so we save a ton of money! Still get to hangout and enjoy each other but it’s like $40 instead of $100 Also I haven’t shopped for myself in so long/ my dad gave me good amount of money for my birthday so I used about 1/3 of it to buy things I’ve been saving up for and the rest will go to school. My tax return I’ll spend 1/4 of it on a vacation but the rest will go towards school. Balance. Balance is why I follow Miko and don’t follow dave Ramsey  

Answer 14

And this is why Miko works for me! I refuse to be miserable for 2 years on purpose. Sure we have cut back but we still enjoy life.  

Answer 15

I enjoy my life. This journey is PERSONAL. It’s about managing YOUR priorities. not what other people think your priorities should be. We don’t do a big vacation every year (it’s a compromise with hubby because if it were my choice I’d stay home! ) we will do a long weekend here or there, he will take our girls camping. We will go visit family where the only cost is gas. Last year we did a BIG trip to universal Florida. We drive but we got super nice rooms for a whole week and we did whatever we wanted. We just did it in cash. I mean I earned my credit card rewards and charged it all to our card but as soon as I got home I paid it in full. It was glorious! My kids do activities but not 20 a piece. We participate in school stuff but not every one. We go out to eat but it’s with a set amount and when we spend it that’s it. Hubby and I each get spending money and clothing money. We just do it all with cash. Then we throw whatever is left at debt. Still able to do a good amount each month.  

Answer 16

@mcgovern49985 this is also my way of thinking. I follow the Dave Ramsey plan but this is where I’m “ish”. Once a month we do something as a family but yes I try to make it low cost, BUT I put it in my budget and plan for it. Also vacations are important to me and I make it important for my kids, I’m willing to add it in my budget to plan a trip. And I use the envelopes during my budget- if it’s a long trip we stay somewhere we can cook. But I say budget for it

Answer 17

I agree that you have to plan for tomorrow, but live for today. I have about $2500 in cc debt. When we get our tax return, I’m going to use part of it for my husband and I to join a community pool for the summer and the rest towards my CC. The pool is about $900. Whatever is left goes to bills. Not really responsible financially - maybe some think I should put all the refund towards the bills. But I don’t want to spend the summer in the house. We love going to the pool, socializing with our friends and enjoying the summer.  

Comments

@persinger we’re getting great America theme park season passes it will be little less than $800 for our family of 4 but we also include the food plan so we get two meals while we’re there. It may be a waste for some people but I plan to go at least once a month and sometimes 2/3 times a month in the summer and we can go a few times at Halloween and Christmas. Worth every penny!  

Answer 18

Very good topic! I am currently struggling with this, ever since I move here I have been working like crazy to pay down my debt, still deep in debt and feel like I can’t find a balance between working to pay debt and enjoy life, I am at the point where I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to go out which it happens very little since now I work three jobs. All I can think about is working and how to get more money to put towards my debt, I feel treated my debt low key! I know there is a balance but I just don’t seem to find it and is making me feel very sad or depress not sure which one. I am looking into getting another job some how to pay debt “faster” I found TBM a year ago and was doing great until I felt off the wagon  

Answer 19

I pick and choose what i enjoy. Every July i go to San Diego Comic-Con. It’s not a cheap trip but i can’t imagine not going now. With this also comes the cost of cosplay. I also like to compete in jiu jitsu competitions and sticker plan. Does this mean I’m slower to pay off debt? Yep. Do i want to give these up? Nope. But i will give up weekly (I’ve never done daily) Starbucks. I’ll avoid target like the plague or utilize my library more for books i don’t need to buy. Even when i started DR, i was never as strict as he preached. I can’t do that.  

Answer 20

I don’t go on the vacation because I don’t have leave to take off work. I don’t give it a second thought and move on. There’s better things to spend my time thinking about than what I don’t have or can’t experience right now.  

Answer 21

The truth of the matter is that when we stop focusing on things we have vs want vs what we don't have. time flies by. And if we're doing what we need to be during that time. time passes by quickly. Next thing you know, debts are paid down. And then we can happily go on that Vacation that we stopping thinking about. TRUST ME! When we stopped making a nice vacation a highlighted focus, we realized that it was 2 years since our last big vacation and were even more grateful for it. Things will not always be a this or that.  

Answer 22

This is why other plans didn’t work for me. I need to save, work debt and vacation at the same time. I understand sacrifice but to much rigidity is overwhelming and makes me prone to failure. That is why I love this program, I saved so much in January

Answer 23

I think much of it depends on what you enjoy and how much joy those things actually give you. Hubby was in the army and we moved 19 times, so took every opportunity in each new duty station to "see the world". We enjoyed it at the time, but NOW I will be happy if I never have to see a suitcase again, let alone TRAVEL! We live in an area where there are so many free things to do. hiking, concerts in the park, the beach, lots of lakes, etc. We are both great cooks and enjoy meals at home because we get things exactly the way WE want them. It would give me NO pleasure to get on an airplane to go anywhere. been there/done that/soooo over it! But that. s just me. not everybody has had the opportunities to travel that I have. We've been married forever, but we can still find joy just sitting together on our back patio watching the grass grow. If you want to take vacations, then plan for them. Personally, I wouldn't enjoy a vacation at all if I were paying for it on a credit card. BUT REMEMBER. it's all in YOUR LIFE CHOICES. do YOU want to take a vacation vs. paying off credit cards this year. then, by all means, take a bit longer paying off the bills and take the vacation. BUT if you'd be stressing over every penny spent while on vacation, then would it really be that much fun? YOU KNOW YOU. you know what YOU want out of life. The point is to do the best you can with what you have.  

Answer 24

I have some cc debt that I am working on paying off. I am in a point in my life where I feel this pull to travel. I am 48 and right now I am healthy and fit. That could all change quickly. So I got a side gig and I use that money for travel. Sure, I could get out of debt faster but the past two years have been amazing, I wouldn't change a thing. ( I started getting serious about budgeting and paying off debt about a year ago).  

Answer 25

Happiness is making the most of what you have. I can't go to Greece right now but I can read about Greece, join travel forums, watch films about Greece, etc. All free for now, but with the intention that I will be in Greece in 2 years. For me, it is knowing that in 2 years I can go on that trip debt-free vs. going now and being in even more debt. Priorities and goals are subjective.  

Answer 26

I'm in the same position. We are in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy and it's really hard to spend our money. I miss camping, road trips, concerts (although I was able to buy tickets to see Matchbox Twenty in July ), etc.  

Answer 27

A lot of us follow the budget mom method because she says to live your life based on what you value and what’s important to you. Some of us may go the more “Dave Ramsey” way of being “extreme” because that’s what we feel is best while others of us feel a family vacation is more important than the few extra months of debt. This group supports and respects everyone’s personal choices and that is why we stay and love it.  

Comments

I listen to Dave almost everyday and love it. And like a lot of his principles. But when my husband comes home from a deployment you bet we’re going to take that family vacation even though it might delay our debt freedom a little.  

Answer 28

I’ve seen a lot of negative posts on here about Dave Ramsey and I wonder if it’s just because of the DR group or just his teachings in general? I am not part of the group but I live by his method. We were way in over our head about 15 years ago and growing up with parents that didn’t teach my hubby or me about money and he was a Godsend. We are now working on paying off our house early. We have also purchased the FPU for multiple family members and friends and even though we are the youngest in my family we are changing our family. Watching them pull themselves from huge amounts of debt and reaping the benefits now is AMAZING! I think TBM is amazing and I love what she has done with her method of budgeting, she is definitely an inspiration. I think there are a lot of similarities but the main thing they both have is that you have to be determined to pull yourself out of debt and living within your means, while leaving room for fun things.  

Comments

@mathamathe ohhh the group lol! The group is horrid. Honestly it’s one of the main reasons I switched to Miko’s way of paying down debt. I don’t feel any of the comments are negative, but maybe I’m just seeing it differently.  

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That stinks that people can ruin something for someone else. We did the financial peace university in a church group. TWICE! We fell off the wagon after paying off debt and thinking we had all this extra money. So we went back and kept doing the steps. It was awesome for us. I do understand the same thing won’t work for everyone and you have to be willing to change in order for anything to work. I think as long as you found something that works for you that’s awesome.  

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@mcgovern49985 I wasn’t meaning you made a negative post about Dave Ramsey, I was reading the comments on here and some people were making negative comments, I was wondering why. Like I said above I think if you found something that works for you, that’s awesome. whether it’s something fast or something slow all that matters is that you stick with it.  

Answer 29

Do what works for you and your family!  

Answer 30

I’m w you Jane! Debt comes secondary to our small yearly trips but I can justify it because I have a child w major medical issues so giving her a vacation is an absolute must to reward her for her bravery! ‍♀️ We do what works for our family!  

Answer 31

I think It’s a fine balance between living life and being fiscally responsible. I’ve found “living life “ doesn’t have to be expensive. Even with sacrifice I can still enjoy life with my family and experience new things.  

Answer 32

Vacation is so different for everyone. Growing up, we could never afford lavish vacations. We went camping in the UP of Michigan and it was some of my fondest memories. Now we do a similar vacation with my daughter. We still get vacation but we’re not going in debt for it. (I think I budget about $500 for vacation? We stay in a really inexpensive place and bring food). But we don’t feel deprived at all.  

Answer 33

Same here! I’ve seen wayyyy too much loss of young lives recently to not take a trip. Some people spend their money from taxes in debt we use it in our vacation fund so we can take numerous trips a year. I want to live!  

Answer 34

Why would you think that? You should just put one envelope aside for fun money! You should never deprive yourself anything

Answer 35

We still enjoy life. I definitely don’t agree with zero fun. I think of it as less fun for bigger fun later. I couldn’t do the whole no restaurants, vacations, outings etc. I’ve lost too many people in my life to let that happen. We are enjoying the present and preparing for the future.  

Answer 36

Not to be too rude (it's my personality) BUT do you even watch miko? Her budgeting is for real people so they can LIVE too. I feel you might not be watching her

Comments

Okay I understand now. I didn't read it that way. I can't cut fun out completely either. I'd miss my sons whole young age if I did that. He is 3 and I spread my goals out to a ten year plan. I'm a single mom and plan to stay that way. So I say do what works for you because I know I can't live the Dave Ramsey way. Great for some but one income and a 3 year old, we need fun in life.  

Answer 37

I have so much more fun debt free than i did when i had debt. Sooooo much freedom. When i was paying off debt i saw that has a buy now pay later lifestyle and i was in the pay later portion.  

Answer 38

I feel the fun I have is not worrying about running out of money and being able to sleep at night - we have one holiday a year - a fun envelope every month and my debt will be clear in May - yay - but I’m certainly never going to borrow Again or live past my means - no way hosay - I love this budgeting I’m in control it amazing  

Answer 39

I think I’ve settled to set my “joy” bar much lower. Rather than a yearly huge vacation, I try to slow down and enjoy things wth my kids more. They don’t care what we do, they can pretty much have a great time anywhere

Comments

Also my kids are little so going out to eat is like hell. We do take out as long as the “food” budget can allow it.  

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@mcgovern49985 I don’t even want to try. I’m paying extra and it just sucks. I was crazy Thai last week so I just picked up and had them eat it at home with me  

Answer 40

So much you can do and enjoy others without spending a lot of money. Even vacations can be taken. You just need to spend time to do the research and be creative.  

Answer 41

I think the biggest thing for me is living within my means and being more responsible. I got into a lot of consumer debt because I wasn’t doing either of those things. I try not to punish myself but I also try not to say YOLO when it comes to how much I should be spending. I hope this makes sense!  

Answer 42

I think it comes down to perspective. You can still enjoy life, pay down your debt, save some money, and pay your bills. The cash money you save in your envelopes should help cover those moments in life without putting more money on your Credit Cards. Life is hard enough without putting more pressure on ourselves. However, I sleep better knowing my bills are paid, I am not adding to my debt, and I have a bit in savings.  

Answer 43

We can’t go on vacation etc for now, but I do try to find opportunities to say yes. I look at it as a way to be super intentional about how we spend our money, for example taking my 3 year old to Monster Jam was out of budget, but the memories made were priceless, and whether the show bombed or not, we were all determined to have a good day. So I just look for things like that along this journey.