+25 votes
by (1.5k points)
Hi ladies, me again asking for advice desperately. My kid is 15 months old and we have co-slept since he was about 8 months old. (no judgement please). I bought him a toddler bed because he DESPISED his crib. tonight was a living nightmare. We were outside today, had a good time. Came home and I gave him a bath. Made him some milk and set him down in his toddler bed that is beside ours so I can slowly transition him from sleeping without us to eventually moving him into his own room. 10 PM he drank his milk, cried uncontrollably in his bed as I tried to pat his back, reassure him mama is there still and continuously remind him he had to lay down. Eventually he vomited all over because he couldn’t stand the fact that I wouldn’t let him in our bed. (I also tried sleep training at about 6 months old and he would just vomit from crying and not sleep) I cleaned everything up, and tried again. Nothing worked. Eventually 1 AM came around and I figured THIS KID NEEDS TO SLEEP so I laid in a TODDLER BED that wasn’t made for an adult to sleep in and hugged him and now he’s out like a light. I don’t know what to do, do I give in and let him sleep in our bed because any sleep is better than no sleep or do I go through this every night? Should I lay in the toddler bed with him until he’s 4 (hope not, haha). Any advice is appreciated, I feel terrible tonight.  
Hi ladies, me again asking for advice desperately.

21 Answers

+11 votes
by (4.7k points)
 
Best answer
Keep at it. Make a big deal when he gets up on how he did it! You slept in your big boy bed!  
+5 votes
by (3.8k points)
Sent you a PM a mom here gave me amazing advice !  
+13 votes
by (10.8k points)
I would assume the longer the time, the harder to break the habit. On my son's most difficult nights like teething/crying from being upset/nightmares etc, I laid on the floor in his room until he fell asleep! I'm wishing you luck  
+23 votes
by (11.6k points)
Precious little sleep is a great web site about sleep training.  
+1 vote
by (8.4k points)
I am all for co sleeping. I don’t see a problem with it.  
by (1.5k points)
@drain7 on one hand we love it but on the other, my husband and I are really sleep deprived because he moves around a lot and takes up all of our space
by (8.4k points)
@incorruption65 , can you carry him to his bed after he falls asleep in your bed?  
by (1.5k points)
@drain7 we haven’t tried that yet, I was thinking it would maybe confuse him though and scare him to wake up somewhere else?  
by (8.4k points)
@incorruption65 , it might but he will find you if he wakes up and doesn’t want to sleep alone. They always find you.  
by (1.5k points)
@drain7 I am guessing you have co-slept as well? Do they eventually get tired of it and WANT to leave your bed?  
by (8.4k points)
@incorruption65 , yes, but my daughter will sometimes still crawl in bed with us. We bought her a tent to go over her bed and it enticed her to want to sleep alone. You can find them on amazon.  
by (1.6k points)
@drain7 I understand how you feel! @incorruption65 I have co slept Since my son was a week or two Old, he is now a year old and I’m really getting tired and ready for my own space and bed back. I get terrible sleep.  
by (6.2k points)
@incorruption65 I believe they do eventually. I have a 17. 5 moth old boy and we co-slept since he was born but we tried the crib and it would never work but my babysitter started sleeping him in the pack &play for naps so just one day he started sleeping in his pack and play for naps them for the night and until now since he was 15 months he sleeps on that. He wants nothing to do with sleeping on my bed anymore
by (4.6k points)
My 3 yo still cosleeps mainly. When I need space I will let her fall asleep in my bed and wait 10 mins and move her to her bed. She will wake up in the middle of the night and want to go back but sometimes she sleeps through the night.  
by (3.6k points)
@incorruption65 honestly, my kids never wanted to leave our bed, except the baby who never wants to be in our bed  Also, none of my kids slept good at 15 months. There is so much going on with separation anxiety and teething at that age. They started to sleep more predictably around 18 months. My 4 year old is my best sleeper now.  
+8 votes
by (1.7k points)
Sending PM!  
+14 votes
by (420 points)
We co sleep. We always have and my daughter is 6, I have no clue when that will change and I’m ok with that.  
+7 votes
by (3.2k points)
Just co sleep  all 3 kids (3, 2, 9 months) co sleep with my husband and I
+2 votes
by (7.4k points)
Can you make the toddler bed the same height as your bed to start? We co-slept, but she always had her own mattress, which we then gradually lowered when she got older so she was kind of in a nest between our bed and the wall. She couldn’t flop or kick me from there, lol. He’s had a bad experience in it though now so I would take it gently moving forward since crying-til-he-pukes isn’t ideal. *hugs* I’m sure that was hard on both of you.  
+21 votes
by (930 points)
I was letting mt kids felt asleep at our bed and moved them to their beds after that. Of course they were waking up in the middle of the night and I had to take them to our bed but after few weeks it was enough to pat their back and they were returning to sleep. It took about two months and they were already falling asleep in their own room :-) Now sometimes I ask them to sleep with me  
+23 votes
by (4.8k points)
I started having her sleep in her room at 15 months. A few things I did for my now 2 year old daughter: 1. Kept a bedtime routine as best as you can 2. I placed a pillowcase with my scent in her bed. 3. I toughed it out for about week and a half of sleep training techniques and reminded me there was an end in sight. 4. Stick to routine and do your best to not divert, it’s harder on you as it is them. 5. Give yourself grace through this process. It’s not easy (at least for those first two weeks) but it DOES get better I promise.  
+7 votes
by (2.4k points)
If cosleeping was working for you then don't stop. They move to their own beds when they're ready. Which is different for everyone. People don't seem to believe this but the more you are there for your child, the more independent they become. Being their night time support does not create bad habits. It actual helps form great sleep habits and independence. You won't end up with a 10 year old in your bed every night. I have always kept my kids in my bed. My youngest are almost 5 and they rarely join us anymore. Not gonna lie I kinda miss it!  
+5 votes
by (7.8k points)
What time do you start the bed time process? You mentioned at 10 pm he drank the milk? I found that if I missed the window of when my son was truly sleepy mine would than get got of a second wind and that would make for a really tough time trying to get him to sleep.  
+25 votes
by (1.8k points)
My son just turned 3 and I’ve been there at the “laying in the toddler bed” stage. Now we’re at the “sit in the toddler bed being used as a pillow for 15 minutes and then ease out from under him” stage. My husband has made it all the way to “lay next to the bed for 5 minutes”! There are a million ways to try. keep going. don’t lose hope. Something will work for your family!  
+23 votes
by (1.5k points)
Same experience here. Eventually i put our queen mattress on the floor and we now sleep together. Honestly, i don't even mind anymore. He's this little for such a short time i want the cuddles. they just grow up too fast. No advice just wanted to share the same experience and wish you good luck.  whatever you end up doing is ok.  
+22 votes
by (1.7k points)
We cosleep until the kid wants their own space. Eventually it will happen  My daughter wanted her own space around 2 years old, and she switched to her bed in her own room with zero problems. (Months later, she came back lol but we are fine with that. She now talks about her own bed again and some nights does prefer her bed). I think the vomiting was showing you he was too distressed to handle this right now.  If you want to try this again, maybe wait a couple of months? I think they understand explanations and reasons and stuff like that better around 18 months.  
+9 votes
by (2.1k points)
The only right answer is to do what works best for YOU and him everyone is different and different things work. The way I’ve seen work with all families is just putting them in their own room with sound machines. He gets up you just calmly lay him back down with no words. Always best of luck mama and know you are doing an amazing job
+3 votes
by (4.6k points)
ZERO advice, we are the worst at sleep . Just sympathy. For your own sanity I pray you can get a nap today. Sleep deprivation is awful.  
+3 votes
by (3.6k points)
Does he nap during the day? If so have him nap during the day on the bed first then transition to nights as well. OR let him fall asleep in ur bed then move him to his, a few times of him waking up in his bed may help him understand . "hey this is not bad at all" whatever u do consistency is always key. He needs structure so he trust in you and the change u are trying to impliment. Good luck momma
+13 votes
by (3.9k points)
We used a sleep consultant when my son was 8 months old. We were co-sleeping before that, and no one was sleeping. It was horrible for us. I learned so much from my sleep consultant, Dana Levy Mihajlovic. She is amazing and the best money I've ever spent. My son is 21 months, takes 1 long nap a day and sleeps between 11-13 hours at night in his crib. No crying (now)
+9 votes
by (3.6k points)
I’m a fan of co sleeping but I also have an 8 yr old who sleeps on a trundle mattress in my room, 4 yr old in our bed, and 19 month old in a mini crib in our room. Every time we start to move them something crazy happens. My kids have crazy dreams and sleep walk. The other day the 4 yo jumped out of bed and would have landed on his face if my husband didn’t catch him. I’m not sure how it will end but I am sure time flies and it feels like yesterday my 8 yo was born. I love the cuddles I get in the morning especially. Good luck Mama!  
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