Question

Let me start of by apologizing if I am offending anyone. I do not understand the need to have a 1 year old or 2 year old or 3 year old birthday party with so much todo and so many people. What ever happened to having family at your home? The child does not realize what is going on and it is a moment to share. I just believe in keeping situations personal. Has it become a situation where one has to outdo the other? I honestly do not understand. I do not mean to offend, just trying to understand.  

Answer 1

My son is now 18. We had a huge 1st bday party. It was more of a celebration for us for making through the first year. It was so much fun.  

Answer 2

My house isn’t big enough for our family. Nor was it ready as we bought a fixer upper and did it room by room. It’s finally done and we had a party a few weeks ago. Cost me all the same all said and done‍♀️

Comments

However, we do friend parties only now. Or we go to a hotel. We did family parties when my 1st was an only child

Answer 3

There’s nothing wrong w doing it at home with family. It’s easier and less stressful. For myself, being Korean, the first birthday is a huge deal. So we had a large party for both of my kids. Different traditions for different people. ♥️

Answer 4

Could be cultural . being polish we do a big 1st birthday for family and friends to celebrate the baby and parents. First year is hard ! And all others I think it depends on the parents. if they are busy it’s an excuse to get everyone together and celebrate.  

Answer 5

We did 1st birthdays only so many of our family/friends could come and celebrate with us as it’s a major milestone for the kids and parents! One year old and so many wonderful little accomplishments in their lives. All other birthdays after have been immediate family only. Also like the other poster has said, our baby girls are miracles that we never thought we could have so it’s definitely a birthday to celebrate.  

Answer 6

To each is own. Because I give my daughter an extravagant party does not mean you need to follow suite. Do want makes you happy- parties happen to make me happy so we celebrate everything.  

Answer 7

This is one of those "worry about yourself" moments ‍♀️

Comments

@christoper  

Answer 8

We had so much fun with the home 1st bday party. We invited everyone by have down sized since then. her 7th party was in the garage as a painting party with her close friends.  

Answer 9

We did a massive first birthday for our 2016 baby. She was our rainbow after 2 losses so we wanted to celebrate her first year. It was also combined w a house warming since we had just moved into our home. We just celebrated my sons first birthday with family this past Sunday. Nothing as big as our last one but it was nice to have everyone together to celebrate his first year AND his golden birthday. Going forward, we will just do family for birthdays til they’re in school. and even then they’ll be small-ish. ❤️

Answer 10

I would talk to whoever you are upset with for their celebrations. We do both. But, unless someone else is paying for it, it’s our decision and our money and negative Nancy’s won’t be invited.  

Answer 11

I think everyone has their own way. Family traditions and customs are different and that's all there is to understand. I think everyone can celebrate how they'd like.  

Answer 12

My kiddos have been an daycare since they were babies and had friends by the time they were turning 3. Like friends that they would ask to see on weekends and talk about all the time. So I don't see a problem with inviting them all over for cake. It's a great way for us to meet the other parent's too and our kids are going to be together for another 2 or 3 years, so I'm happy to get to know everyone. ‍♀️

Answer 13

I grew up having bigger parties. Birthdays have always been a big celebration. So, naturally that is how it has been for our daughter. Its different for everyone

Answer 14

We always do our birthdays at home. So much more intimate!  

Answer 15

For my first son in 2009 he turned 1. I spent over 3, 000. 00 looking back I was so happy to do that but what a waste . So we celebrate our children on their days and do stuff together

Answer 16

I think the first bday isn’t for the baby really it’s more for the parents and they celebrate it. Pregnancy isn’t easy so why not celebrate what you’ve made lol I don’t care much about the 2nd n 3rd bdays lol

Answer 17

I’m not sure that is the goal when having a birthday party. My family is a decent size and didn’t fit in my previous home. When they have parties, their family (cousins, etc) are so big they can’t fit in most homes either.  

Answer 18

I say don't celebrate them at all. Don't even tell your kids when their birthday is. if they ask you one day just tell them they're being ungrateful. Smh. Kids.  

Answer 19

My son didnt have any actual bday party with friends until his 4 bday when he could remember and cherish it. we spent 400$ so he better lol. his first couple bdays was just family.  

Comments

I honestly meant nothing nasty, condemning, or offending. I am just trying to understand. I wish you all the best!  

Answer 20

We did the 1st bday at Chuck E. Cheese. Not a big group. I get your point. I can’t understand a party at a banquet hall w a production like a wedding. I’d rather hv smaller w family

Answer 21

‍♀️ Why do we care why others do what they do?  

Comments

Especially if/when you haven't been asked to pay for (or attend ‍♀️)

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I ask because so many ask where to have the party, where to get the cake, etc. My children had their birthday at my home, where I made the cake. I mean NO OFFENSE to anyone.  

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@organdy that's GREAT because it's what YOU wanted for YOUR children. See the irony here ;) others should be able to do the same for theirs without having to explain this to anyone. I don't think anyone is truly offended by this question, but it is a little condescending at the same time

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@organdy, you’re lucky you could host it at home and no one question why or how you had the time to do it all yourself.  

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PS. People keep people employed by outsourcing, so it should be a good thing they’re keeping the economy flowing.  

Answer 22

The child will enjoy looking back to see that they were celebrated for their birthday. Take pics and make 2 memory books. One to keep and one that the child can look at. You will be surprised how they love seeing themselves. My granddaughter carried her picture book with her everywhere and even slept with it. She learned the story of each pic & told the story each time she looked at it. So it's more for the child knowing they were loved. Do you need to spend a ton of money? No.  

Answer 23

It is really like anything else. If people look at other people's lives and compare then they will never be happy because everyone does things differently. Some may spend a lot on a big todo because it makes them feel good. Others plan smaller intmate parties because they want to focus on making memories with a small group. The best thing to do is plan what you really want. not what others are doing. If you enjoy connecting with a smaller number and having time to chat and enjoy then keep it simple. If you want something larger than that is fine too. It just may be harder to connect with all your guests if it is larger. As far as the details. Some people like to show personality in their gatherings with decor and food. It doesn't mean it is "the way things are these days". it is just that one person's take on it. Sometimes simple non fuss makes for the best time and memories.  

Comments

My one suggestion however is to take pictures of the child with the family members because over the years things change and I have lost loved ones. Being with family and having those pictures are now priceless. You won't care about the pinterest tables 10 years from now. Enjoy celebrating life and family!  

Answer 24

I mean who cares? People have different traditions, beliefs, finances etc. If you can afford to great if you can’t great! I do what I want with my own kids based on what I want not what other people do. It really doesn’t matter?  

Answer 25

I see it as a party for the parents celebrating making it through those milestones-lol

Answer 26

Cause. its fun? ‍♀️

Answer 27

I personally love throwing parties, so any reason is a great reason for me!  

Answer 28

There is not really much to understand. It's really to each their own. If you don't agree with it then don't make it a part of your plan or don't attend any birthday parties until the child is turning at least 4. Sometimes parties are as much for the child as they are for the adult throwing them. Or because maybe the child is a miracle child and every milestone whether birthday or a smaller triumph is important.  We chose to celebrate with our closest friends and family when my daughter turned one, if someone was upset we were throwing our kid a bday party, I would really hope they would nicely RSVP that they had plans that day.  I love how my friends and their babies have so quickly become important people in my kids lives and family is no different. To put an explanation as to why certain milestones or moments are important for each person to celebrate seems odd to me. Help us understand.  

Answer 29

Heck, I have done big parties for my dog's birthday. Was awesome! :)

Comments

@enmity ❤️❤️

Answer 30

It can be a cultural thing as well. For our Italian family, everything we do is over the top. It’s more about having a party for everyone we appreciate to gather and we want to ensure they have a great time. For us that means tons of food, drinks, decor, etc. and it usually ends up more like a wedding reception than a party. I have family also that is bohemian and we do the most basic home parties. I don’t feel like we do it for ‘show’ or to brag, it’s sort of a cultural expectation. I wouldn’t go into debt doing it, but I wouldn’t not do it because some people find it ostentatious

Answer 31

I think this question is seen two ways. One it shows the kind of friends and family you have if you are invited to those. Maybe time to fine new friends if you're not into that? And the second is if you see this online or hear from others let them do them, none of you business. People celebrate different things and different ways. Much is cultural too. Never ever count other peoples money (how they spend it)!  

Answer 32

My kids’ biggest birthday party is when they are 1. No regret at all. I don’t care if they don’t understand at that time, but we want to celebrate. it’s not just a milestone for them, but for us as parents. They got presents that last them for a while, and they can look at the pictures later and saw how much they are loved by many. The party gets smaller after that, and by the time they are in middle/high school, they just want to hang out with few friends. I am glad we had those parties with friends and families when they are little.  

Answer 33

There are some years I go big and some years i do small intimate. I think your comment is coming from jealousy. I'm sorry you feel that way. Some people cant afford to go all out (me being one of them) but when i can i do! I love my babies and i love seeing them happy at any age! Also I'm a photographer so every year is captured and printed in detail ♡ just run YOUR best race and dont worry about everyone else

Answer 34

Cool thing about trends is you don't have to follow if you don't want to! We threw parties every year for my kids when they were younger. Invited their entire class. We don't have a lot of family in the area so it would be a sad affair to have just the four of us. Remember that not everyone grew up here and by here I don't just mean in Illinois. I mean in the country. We have different customs and different ways of thinking which I think is what makes this area so cool. It's a melting pot from which you can learn a lot if you let it.  

Answer 35

I remember asking my sweet little daughter if she wanted a party and she answered “no mommy I’m too young” I asked her each year until she was 7 then she wanted one! Wise beyond her years!  

Comments

Our thoughts.  

Answer 36

We do birthdays at home for our kiddos! We’ve done backyard bbqs and the kids all love them!  

Answer 37

A childs party at that age isn't about the child just a celebration of getting a kid to 1 without going crazy, it's more for the parents and family and sometimes having it at home isn't practical.  

Comments

My reply keeps getting deleted. I want to thank you all for your responses. I honestly meant NO offense or judgement. I am just trying to understand. I wish you all Happy Lives. I do not understand the attacking I am receiving. I wish you all the best.  

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@organdy attacking? I hadn't realized that was happening, so sorry to hear that.  

Answer 38

Because life is beautiful, precious and sometimes short, why not celebrate it?  

Answer 39

Who cares what other people do! if they want to throw a party that is no ones business! Cant believe this is a posts?  

Answer 40

We had a huge party, mostly family, for our son’s first birthday. We did not have the traditional baptism/Christening party that our Italian-American families typically have, so 1st bday was our big party for family & friends to gather, share a meal, celebrate, & meet our son if they had not already. I have zero regrets. While it was a huge party, it was not over the top fancy. No special theme or entertainment. We used a VFW hall available to us because some relatives are members there & there are a lot of family parties held there. Our previous home was not large enough to host the party.  

Answer 41

We’ve done big 1st birthday parties at our home, then small family (grandparents & Godparents) dinners to celebrate birthdays after that. First party to celebrate with kids has been at 4yo and even that has been smaller (<10 kids).  

Answer 42

Because people put time, money, and effort into the things they enjoy. If a parent enjoys party planning and hosting then go for it. If you don’t then keep it simple. Let people enjoy life and celebrate how they choose.  

Answer 43

Normally the first is a big thing then after not till they are in school have a kid party. Then there’s your golden birthday which is a big one for a lot of people.  

Answer 44

Haha. we totally agree with you. just keep it simple n hv fun in ur own way. that matters a lot!