Question

Have you or your spouse made a drastic career change later in life? My husband does well financially but his career has literally broken his spirit. He is on call 24/7, has his life threatened daily and he is just miserable. The hard thing is he has only worked in long term healthcare since he was fresh out of college and feels like he would have to start over. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I miss my goofy, happy husband

Answer 1

It’s not worth being miserable. Life is too short to not be happy, even if the pay is lower and requires many changes. Big picture is finding health and happiness.  

Comments

@angle that’s exactly how I feel.  

---

@anagnorisis I made a complete life change in my late 20’s. Went from being around family and the same job (healthcare) and same everything to moving across country and doing it on my own and learning how to be independent. It was the best thing to happen to me! It was scary as hell, but worth it. Now I’ve been at my job I love with incredible flexibility for 20 years. It could be the start of something new and exciting!  

---

@angle that is incredible! The fear of failure is definitely holding him back

---

Be encouraging, not fake, but truly sincere encouragement. Let him know that you want him to be happy again and you will be there with him the whole way. It will make you both stronger. Let him know you miss the happy goofy guy and you’ll do anything to have him back. Guys egos are super sensitive, so let him know he’s been strong for doing this for so long but his health must come first. Health isn’t just physical but emotional as well. I’m rooting for you both! It’s challenging, if you need help or shoulders to lean on, we are all here for you! ❤️

Answer 2

My husband switched from sales to HVAC and is much happier with the work! Its been a rough year financially and he had to go back to school (thankfully a fast program), but things are looking up and he is so happy not to HATE what he does everyday!  

Answer 3

At the age of 37 I decided I wanted to pursue my dreams of being a flight attendant. I took a pay cut, never see my family (I don’t and physically can’t have kids) but I’ve never been happier with my choice. I was miserable with every other job I’ve had and this one brings me joy.  

Comments

@audreyaudri yes! I, too, went inflight! I couldn’t ever go back to a “real” job!  

Answer 4

We did. in the end of the day, it's just a job. Financially not easy, but it is much better to see him as a happy person, and it effect the family mood. Eventually he climbed back up and makes a decent $.  

Answer 5

Been there sigh. I’m in the mental health field. I once had 100 clients on my case load and worked 12+ hrs every day. My solution? I got out. I found a new organization. Also, self care is extremely important. Boundaries at work (being comfortable saying no to more tasks/responsibilities). Getting better organized so you’re not doing hours and hours of paperwork at home. Make time for an actual lunch break. Make it a point to have date night. Exercise, sleep and eating better allows us to have a bigger window of tolerance as well. But ultimately it sounds like he works for an organization that doesn’t encourage or prioritize their employees health/self care. Such a toxic environment to be in. I hope he finds himself again. Sending hugs to you both.  

Answer 6

Ask him to get to the technical side of heathcare like being a BA or Scrum Master. It would pay well and is a great option. Let me know if you want any help.  I work as tech HR so know what background we seek in candiates.  

Comments

@redshank can you tell me what kind of background? I have a liberal arts degree going to waste. Thanks

Answer 7

My husband went from Law Enforcement to commercial Pilot at 34. I'm so happy to have a husband who loves what he does again! It's worth it 100x over to have my happy husband back!  

Comments

@ulna9103 hi Sarah, I just sent you a pm.  

---

@ulna9103 that sounds amazing. How do you get into that field? Side note, what works better than indeed guys? Lol thank you

---

@spaak Its actually what he went to college for. And already had his ratings (the airlines were not a good fit 12 years ago when he needed a stable job, it's much different now). But I know some companies like SkyWest will help pay for all your training so that you can become a pilot for them. We had a friend do that and now he's a pilot too! Not sure what that second question is, sorry!  

Answer 8

Hello yes me :)

Answer 9

What type of long term health care? Could he switch areas? (I was in addictions switched to private practice). That way he may find his new passion. But also, I totally get it. My SO is contemplating the same.  

Answer 10

Tell him to make a change-NOW! My husband was in a well-paid but very highly stressful job I begged him to leave and find something more low-key. I begged and begged. Well, he ended up having a heart attack at work and died. No job is worth your life. It affected my son and I for the rest of our lives.  

Comments

@outlast oh no  this is so sad! I’m so sorry. I think sometimes it’s so hard for us to make a change. human nature I guess

---

@shend Thank you, and yes, you are right but sometimes your life depends on the change.  

---

I’m so sorry for the tragic loss of your husband Terri. mine switched jobs to lower his stress and we realized that it’s not the job-it’s him. He took what should have been a 9-5 job and literally works 4am-midnight. Answers emails at all hours, is at the beck and call of his boss. No matter what, he’s going to put 150% into his work. For now though I’m trying to do my best scheduling family time and vacations. And saving $ so that we can retire early.  

---

@sperrylite Bafaloukos Thank you! oh boy, that’s not good it is. A recipe for disaster. My husband saved and planned for retirement but unfortunately he never even saw one day of it. I am grateful he planned so well and made my life easier in the years since he has passed but it makes me sad that he never was here to enjoy it with me. I wish you God’s blessing.  

Answer 11

We are living this. Corporate is slowing killing my husband’s soul. We’ve been planning for a year and will be breaking up with corporate America this fall. Since planning, my husband has been rejuvenated and energized about what’s to come. So much that he’s been promoted twice at work  which makes it that much harder to leave but the risk is worth the reward. Map out a plan!  

Answer 12

My sister did! She left trauma therapy (it’s technically a long hiatus, since she keeps her licenses up) and started her own business in an unrelated field. She’s never been happier.  

Answer 13

Adam did! Went from one job he hated but paid well so he “put up” with it to his dream job. It sucked for awhile but worth every minute of stress along to way to get where we are at now  

Answer 14

Would he be interested in some type of healthcare advisory position for an IT company? Or healthcare sales? I'm in healthcare IT and there is always a need for people with actual healthcare experience.  

Comments

@attalanta messaged you.  

---

@attalanta sent PM

---

@attalanta sent PM!  

Answer 15

My husband went from selling printing to medical school at 36! He is an eye doctor now for the last 10 years! It has been hard, we have a huge student loan debt for him and 2 girls in private college. It works, he’s happy!  

Answer 16

I'm giving talk on this at company that did layoffs. I'm at Dunham counseling take ppo insurance, would do Myers Briggs personality quiz give coaching next steps to reinvent at midlife

Answer 17

@anagnorisis I’m so sorry he feels this way! I made a transition right when we starting having kids, i hated my corporate job and I saw a career counselor, @sniggle, to help evaluate my strengths and what makes me “happy”. It is tough, especially financially I think for people to make a switch because you need to re-evaluate the cost of doing so -but I’m happy to help with that part and talk to you about planning (I had to do it myself).  

Answer 18

My husband did and he couldn't be happier now. Im at home with our kids now, but I plan on not going back to teaching when its time for me to go back to work.  

Answer 19

It’s never too late to start over. As long as there’s enough back up or support for the time he may be in limbo he should do it. I’ve been thinking about this as well, for myself.  

Answer 20

The hardest part is figuring out what will make them happy. It too my husband a year to figure that out. A change of company, a move but the same field did the trick. The difference was he does one part of what he used to do at a company that treats him well and sees his value. So he didn't need to make a complete career change, but we did need to make a huge move for our family.  

Answer 21

I saw this quote online recently and I loved it so much- “you’re not starting over from scratch, you’re starting over from experience. ” Whatever field he might get into- even if it’s completely different, he still has lots of experience that will help him thrive in a new environment. Good luck! ❤️

Answer 22

My husband went from engineer to lawyer in his mid-30s. It’s hard, but absolutely doable. Considering a graduate degree as a stepping stone to a new field is, I think, a fairly typical path.  

Answer 23

Does he need to make same income?  

Answer 24

I went from IT for 10 years to Chiropractic (too me a long time to complete the degree because I had a year of undergrad science courses first and 3 babies during school). A financial stress for sure. I've got huge loans and make way less money, but I did it because I knew it was what I wanted. My husband went from engineering to lawyer a few years before I did that. Better money for him, but also tons of loans. It can be a financial stress, but if he figures out what he wants, it's worth it. Just make your financial plans first.  

Comments

@yaron tell yourself moms story! Talk about a career change, it’s never too late.  

---

@yodel hi Jean! Definitely never too late. My mom went back to med school when she was 50 after raising 6 kids. I was 11 when she started. She definitely missed some of my events and games, but she was inspirational to me. I think seeing her do something she has wanted for so long was one of the best parenting lessons she could have given. Like I said before, make sure he's doing what he really wants and make financial plans. It may not be easy, but it's worth it in my opinion.  

---

@yaron wow! 50 going to med school?! I am impressed the stamina.  

---

@yaron that is what I want to do. Always want to be a doctor, but now I have to raise my children first. But I want to go back to school one day. I told my husband, I probably be 80 and be the oldest woman ever graduate. Lol.  

Answer 25

Life is too short to hate your job!  

Answer 26

I was a teacher with a fairly easy, cushy, protected job at a north shore high school. Holidays and summers off. Sweet pension. Terrific working hours. But. it was sucking the life out of me because I lost all passion for it. I’m now a medical provider as a PA and feel so much happier and personally fulfilled. I walked away from teaching in 2013, went to school in 2015 (age 41, with a 5 and 8 year old), and re-entered the workforce in 2018. It has not been easy but I had terrific support from my husband. I’m so glad I took the risk and my overall quality of life is better. Don’t let the golden ring become the golden handcuff.  

Comments

@adjourn Whats PA?  

---

Physicians assistant I believe.  

Answer 27

I did about couple years ago. I was miserable. Took a lower paying job in a school district (with good benefits) until I recalibrated and felt prepared. I went back for my Master's and landed my dream job.  

Answer 28

I thinking of doing this. I have a journalism degree (not a smart idea) and worked here and there and random jobs to be flexible with having kids. Now I wanting a career to enjoy-thought of going back to school terrifies me, but I think it’s something I need to do.  

Answer 29

My husband went from being a contract painter to working for a non profit as a weatherization specialist ( kind of like a building scientist) and his new employer paid for all of his certification trainings. Im currently reading the What Color is Your Parachute book and it's very hopeful and eye opening for those of us looking to change careers in our mid life years! Good luck. I know the pain of missing a goofy stressfree husband! The career change was a 180 shift!  

Comments

@danseuse2015 quite a change that is awesome

Answer 30

Is he in behavioral health?  

Comments

@lickspittle nursing homes in rough communities.  

---

Encourage him to look at the Alzheimer's Association! Their national headquarters are in Chicago. My husband works there, and while it is demanding, it is incredibly rewarding. They are seriously committed to their mission  

---

@anagnorisis gotcha. I’m a nurse in an intensive behavioral health men’s unit in wicker park and the job description sounds the same.  

Answer 31

@anagnorisis, no one knows your husband better than you. What occupation do you feel will make him happy? When was the last time he had a long break from work, not going on a trip with the kiddos, but just time to regroup himself. The past few years have seen big changes for him too. My husband went through this too, 25 years at a job right out of college. All the life coaching and color of your parachute did no good. Time and someone who knows him well will get him back to his happy self. I analyzed what I definitely knew about my husband and suggested a totally different field of work for him. Today, 25 years later at age 72 he loves doing what I suggested. He does not want to retire.  

Answer 32

I did in my late 40’s and haven’t looked back. I didn’t realize how my old job affected me and my family. The day my dad told me I was a better person now, I knew I made the right decision. It’s not easy but it’s so worth it in the long run. Good luck!  

Answer 33

My husband is in the process of starting his own company for this reason.  

Answer 34

Thank you everyone for your responses! My 2 year old wanted attention so I’m just getting to read this. I’m going to respond when I get the kids off to bed.  

Answer 35

I went from being a scientist to a pediatric Occupational Therapist. Went back to school at 30 to get my master’s degree and switch careers