Question

Hi everyone!  I’m committed to a budget, but when I say “no” to things (because of work, school, or it’s not in my budget) I get negative comments and I feel embarrassed, or I don’t get comments but I feel insecure.Hi everyone! I’m committed to a budget, but when I say “no” to things (because of work, school, or it’s not in my budget) I get negative comments and I feel embarrassed, or I don’t get comments but I feel insecure. How do you guys go about handling those comments and staying motivated?  

Answer 1

People tease me but I know they're truly jealous of my debt free lifestyle.  

Answer 2

Heck em! You do what’s best for you. Remind yourself of your financial goals and how much more they mean to you then whatever you are saying no to.  

Comments

@acosmism yes, agree

Answer 3

If they don’t pay your bills they don’t matter but if you want/can you make a budget for them. I have a budget for my son’s school functions

Comments

@spermato46355 I tell my kids the same thing all the time! Do what’s best for you and don’t worry about the next person. They’re probably in debt up to their eyeballs!  

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@kelt134 that’s why I suggested if you can you can create a sinking fund for it. Let’s say they have events that cost $20 a month. You can put $10 a paycheck away and be ready without it hurting anything.  

Answer 4

I don’t give a shiznett. I’m over here trying to better my life and if you can’t support that then I don’t care about your opinion. ‍♀️

Answer 5

I live by tell the truth faster. Some of my peeps used to tease me about budgeting, but now I don’t hear much from them. Well, a couple have asked about budgeting.  

Answer 6

At first my sister would pick on me when I’d say “it’s not in the budget, I can’t get it. ” But now everyone around me is seeing the impact budgeting is having. Hopefully your negative comments will dwindle down and go away. Just remember that you’re creating a better situation for you and you got this!  

Answer 7

Shrug it off. It’s none of their business and you don’t need a reason to say no.  

Answer 8

It gets much easier with time! People just fear change.  

Answer 9

What others say or think about you- ain’t none of your business! Lol

Answer 10

It's not their life. They're not the ones who have to deal with your debt. They're not the ones who pay your house payment and bills. It's not their butt on the line at the end of the day. Live like no one else now so you can live like no one else later.  

Answer 11

No is a complete sentence. You don't have to justify it with budget, mood or anything else

Answer 12

Why are you embarrassed for being honest and transparent about your debt free journey?!? Also, Are any of these people helping you by paying your bills or contributing to your debt free journey in a positive way? Be proud that you are in a debt free journey, you have taken control of your personal finances and you don’t have to explain yourself to everyone for declining “things”. Obviously you are doing something right for having people criticize you but sadly you don’t feel proud of the goals you have set out to reach financial security for your future  It’s okay to say “No, I currently can’t do things but thank you”.  

Answer 13

Instead of saying the word no, try saying something you can say yes to, such as "How about ______ on such and such day, " or "That sounds really nice, but I'm not in a position at the moment to do that. Try me again another time. " And what you could offer instead doesn't have to involve money, necessarily. Whatever you are capable of doing is what you put out there. If you aren't capable of anything at that time, ask for a rain check.  

Answer 14

"Thank you for thinking of me, but that's not a priority for me right now. "

Answer 15

Also, remember that NO is a full sentence.  

Answer 16

Keep up your plan!  

Answer 17

I know what you are going thru! Just be tough and hold to saying NO! Repeat after me Sorry. I'm Saving my money for., .!  

Answer 18

Stand firm. You’re showing them what’s important to you. And that’s amazing! you’ve got this!  

Comments

@kelt134 exactly! I’m standing with you!  you’re not alone in this journey!  

Answer 19

“If they don’t pay your bills, pay them no mind. ” -RuPaul

Answer 20

It’s funny I loved saying it & now everyone around me knows & doesn’t expect anything unless I tell them in advance but that’s what the envelopes are Fr unexpected happenings if you choose to make one

Answer 21

I get invited to lunch all the time and I simply say no thank you. Don’t feel embarrassed this is your journey and whoever doesn’t support it does not deserve to be in your energy or circle. Ignore them, they’ll come asking you later how you did it.  

Answer 22

I don’t really feel like an explanation to saying , “No” or “No, thank you”. Is needed when you decline an invitation

Answer 23

I say . sorry it’s not in my budget. Maybe another time when it is? This is my journey if people don’t understand its time they move on

Answer 24

A polite no thank you should be sufficient. No reason has to be given.  

Answer 25

Getting everyone on board about budgeting is sometimes hard but doable. They have to realize that you're doing this for the good.  

Answer 26

It’s because if people react that way to your budget - it might be that they are envious you doing such a great thing they don’t want to face their own demons - go you  

Answer 27

Their opinions don’t pay your bills. You don’t need to justify your decisions to anyone. Just say “no” and don’t give an explanation. Not their business.  

Answer 28

I hear the same about my food. I’m not on a diet, I’m changing my life. No I don’t want to eat your seven cheese Mac n cheese, Linda. Idgaf if everyone else is eating it ‍♀️

Answer 29

Just picture yourself rolling by them in your paid for car and no debt. And They are drowning in debt trying to please everybody with credit cards to stores buying shit they don’t need. Your a boss For taking charge of your life and your future. Don’t let anyone make you feel less for that.  

Answer 30

We in this group don’t keep up with the Jones’s, most of the time that means we say no, if you have money in a fun envelope and have budgeted for it, treat yourself and if you don’t then people will eventually understand, it only matters that you take care of yourself and your situation, if they are truly your friends they will understand, if they are your coworkers maybe they will eventually join you on your journey, best of luck

Answer 31

I says “It’s not in my budget at this time”. When someone laughed I thought to myself, “that’s a broke person”. At other times people have said that it wasn’t in their budget & they didn’t have the money & we just moved on. My feels don’t get hurt because I think I’m going to be laughing all the way to the bank. And now that we are debt free are are laughing & giving & it feels better that caring about what broke people think. You will be ok. You have a goal. Please don’t let others side track you. You really can do this.  

Answer 32

Well you can’t pay your bills with other people’s opinions. you have to believe in yourself. And when you start accomplishing things you never have been able to (savings, pay offs), you will gain more confidence

Comments

@flitch I ♥️ that. You can’t pay your bills with others opinions! I’m gonna remember that one!  

Answer 33

I can totally empathise with you. I'm budgeting a long enough while now and still can get embarrassed to say no. My friends would almost always ask me why and I get sick of saying because I don't have the money. I've started saying things like "I can't this time, hopefully we can catch up soon over a cup of coffee" (much cheaper than a dinner out), or "I'm busy with the kids this weekend sorry, maybe next time".  

Answer 34

No doesn't need an explanation! Once you realize that you have so so much freedom

Comments

This is hard for me as well, I over explain at times. My husband will say no and just stare at them and say nothing else lol.  

Answer 35

No need to explain IMO. My daughters father and family think they need to buy her allllll these things and it’s just too much. I raise her to care about the experiences, not the products and a huge part of that is her not needing “stuff”. I view life in the same way. You are doing something to better your life in the long run. “One day I’ll be able to say yes, but while I work towards that, there’s no explanation needed”

Answer 36

When you stop caring what other think and just be you, is the day your life will be free!  

Answer 37

Others dont pay your Bill's and others wont support you if you go bankrupt. Be polite, be kind, offer your time if you can. Stay strong!  

Answer 38

I get it! Slightly different, but I moved to a different state and have to get a new teaching certificate, so I am subbing while I live with my aunt and uncle. Had a sinking fund for the license fee and my uncle got mad I didn’t ask to borrow the money! I would rather pay for it and not owe more money.  

Comments

It’s a hard decision! I am finally applying for my license this month so that I can try to find a full time job next school year, which will bee an increase of 35-40 thousand a year, so definitely worth it.  

Answer 39

It’s hard to say no sometimes but as the saying goes “people who matter, don’t care”. If you’re honest and the people in your life don’t support your decisions, regardless of the reason, then it’s time to reevaluate. Eventually you will feel comfortable with saying no and/or telling them you need more notice for certain activities. If they asking to go out for dinner, maybe tell them you can’t do dinner but would be happy to meet for a happy hour drinks or a coffee another day. Or set up a date that follows your next paycheck so you can budget for the activity.  

Answer 40

Don't be embarrassed, you are making responsible financial decisions right now and it will pay off soon and as soon as you start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you will feel more confident about it! I get lots of compliments on my cash envelope wallet and everyone that sees it comments how they need to do that too! Seeing my progress month after month and sharing how I do it keeps me motivated to move forward!  

Answer 41

This has been the toughest part of my journey so far! I’m a homebody as is and was always forcing myself to go out with “friends” but I learned that I was just a body to them so they weren’t out alone yano? I am much happier with my son and fiancé home on the couch spending zero dollars ‍♀️

Comments

Yes! Exactly I just had this problem the original plan was to go to my sil drink and eat snacks then they changed it to going to dinner and drinks and I said I can’t make it then and they basically said well you can just eat before and not drink . so I happily sat on my couch and read a book I nstead

Answer 42

I say No all the time now and I only feel bad for a second then I'm over it. You shouldn't care what other people think. Put yourself first.  

Answer 43

I have had the same struggle! I think words are very important. I wish I had a better line FOR MYSELF when I felt like I did want to go out to dinner, but I felt like it was out of budget. (The DR quote life like no one else so later you can live like no one else never quite resonated with me. ) For me, what’s helping right now is knowing I’m saving for medical procedures. But maybe make a line with your why? Something like, “I can’t wait I pay X off so I can save more for my son’s college” or something like that to help you through the times when you’re feeling YOLO.  

Answer 44

I always say nope sorry not in the budget. And if they something rude or snide I always say if they really want me there they can pay for my family of 6 or sorry I'm financially responsible lol I don't feel bad. People should not feel guilty for not keeping up with the jones's. Be confident, your not missing anything. Real family and friends would not push you but understand. You are doing something good. Yoi can set up play dates at the park, have them over and do a pot luck, game night etc

Answer 45

I know it's easier said than done, but just ignore them. If the decision you made is truly the right one for you, you wont feel bad about it. it gets easier with time.  

Answer 46

Ignore them one day you'll have the last laugh. Keep doing what you are doing if their judging you hope hope all their ducks are in line you got this. Tilt your head there a bit and that's how you walk with your head held high  

Answer 47

Only someone who has your best interest at heart will not comment negatively! My coworker used to tease me at first, when I would buy a coffee. She would ask me about my NO SPEND DAYS and I would tell her what days of the week I was doing it and she would hold me accountable. Other than that. My friends would say o. k. well, when your freeze is over let's do lunch. They now even tell me, its not in their budget this week, but for us to plan a girls night out.