Question

Ok Everyone, I’m gonna turn off the comments here, because it’s getting out of hand. I wanted to blow off some steam because we all work hard in this group to budget our money wisely& pay off debt/ live a life we can afford. Some of your comments made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that, I needed that! Some are a little crazy. For the record, my husband spends all sort of crazy money(if I let him) on me and we DO go out. We moved a while ago and he’s been missing his boys & going out with them, so our mutual friend suggested going out for dinner. (which I totally support, because we’re not joined at the hip, he needed another man to drink with and talk sports) I’m NOT angry at that. What absolutely make me mad was that we ARE PAYING OFF DEBT! We ARE SAVING ALL WE CAN. Going out is ok, but let’s not go overboard. And the restaurant they went to wasn’t that expensive. I asked him to stick to $50. Totally doable. That was the budget for this week. He decided to treat his friend. Very nice of him. But completely out of budget. Had we gone out, it would have been $130 after I paid the babysitter. The point was to save on that, give him time with a friend. Not give ME a heart attack  My hubby’s been complaining about feeling lonely. A friend suggested they go for dinner together. Just the boys. $130! He JUST SPENT $130 on DINNER!  WTF?! I said $50 is the max this week! SERIOUSLY! Budget blown  

Answer 1

I feel guilty when we spend $50  

Answer 2

I would let it slide aslong as it doesn’t happen often. I know if I really needed a girls night out I wouldn’t want my husband getting on me about what I spent. 130 is expensive for one night but I can see how the tab can get that high when alcohol is involved

Answer 3

I’ve been there. Planned to go to a free kids party. Somehow we ended up at DB and spent 150. That was the last time since we started our budget. I used that as a learning experience. It made it easier for me to remind my husband how bad things can get when we don’t plan. He remembers that day and says. ”oh yeah let’s not do that again” instead of me sounding like the nagging life.  

Answer 4

Maybe lonley means he needs his wife not his friend?  

Comments

@bestialize7 gotcha. Well in that case maybe it wasnt so bad. If he never spends money going out with friends it was all on one bill which does suck but probably worth it for him.  

Answer 5

I just went out with my coworkers and I paid $25 happy hour is your friend

Answer 6

I'd be furious! Even if it was a one time thing. When it is agreed upon how much is available to spend, both spouses should be considerate to that.  

Answer 7

We ONLY take cash when going out so that there is no possibility of overspending

Answer 8

Damn 50$ is pretty tight for a night out though  

Answer 9

The only meal I’ve ever had that expensive is dining in Cinderella Castle in Disney World.  I literally don’t want to imagine what I’d say or do in your situation though I’m so sorry.  

Answer 10

It depends where you go. Last week I took my friend for birthday dinner. We each had two cocktails, shared two appetizers and an entree and the bill was $151 (inc tip). I was feeling anxious but then I decided I don’t do this all the time and I did enjoy myself a lot. I’ll just have to be careful next month!  

Comments

Exactly and I live in Austin, Texas where a lot of the bars serve you premium drinks!  

Answer 11

My husband knows better. If I say $50 he sometimes will spend maybe $70 max. Never $130. I wouldn’t let him come home I’d be so pissed. Lol

Comments

@humidistat11 Me too especially if that is the bill just for himself. He was very inconsiderate especially if he is aware that she was trying to budget.  

Answer 12

Did he spend that much just on himself or did he pay for his friend as well? If my husband spent that much for just himself he'd be living elsewhere. I'd have thrown him out on his ass.  

Comments

@avestan wow, divorced over dinner? Yikes.  

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@foozle64519 Brown I saw their profile pic and they have I believe three kids that I saw. But, he went out I believe without his wife and blew money that he could have spent on bills and his children. Maybe, a divorce would be a little harsh. But, he sure would be given the cold shoulder from me for quite awhile. I'd be pissed s hell. If he's so lonely why didn't he spend time with his wife?  

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@avestan she's already stated that they moved recently and he misses his friends. He is entitled to his feelings and if he was used to hanging out with them a lot then he probably needed buddy time. My hubby and I do date day, but I still need time with my girlfriends. Also, I'm not sure what how many kids they have has to do with anything. Even parents need nights away.  

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Okay, @avestan no need to take it this far. this was a mistake

Answer 13

“Next round is on me”? I’d be upset but I’d let it go. I was figuring out the budget for the pay period and asked my husband how much spending money he needed for the week. He said “$80”. Cool. He spent $213 and I was peeved.  

Answer 14

That was NOT dinner!  

Answer 15

Was that just for him or he paid for everyone?  

Comments

@bestialize7 Was his buddy male or female is the ?. Does he spend that kind of money on you ever?  

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@avestan what are you trying to imply here? I think your comments are unnecessary.  

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@avestan you are out of line for asking this question. Seriously, be nice

Answer 16

WHAT THE HECK DID HE ORDER?! Did they go on a romantic date to a 5 star restaurant?  

Answer 17

Umm. no sir.  

Answer 18

I hit $80 by myself just this Saturday! That’s four drinks, and a meal.  

Answer 19

I mean I think it depends on the place. That price is easy around Saratoga

Answer 20

I would be less pissed about the $ and more pissed because I wasnt the one he had a good time with

Comments

@avestan do you know that they don't have nights out? Where did she state that they don't go out together? She stated that he's been lonely lately since they moved and a friend suggested a night out. Don't read into something that isn't there.  

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@foozle64519 same I mean yea I love spending time with him but we both need our own nights out with friends, hang out have fun. Lol and we didn’t even go anywhere expensive went to an American legion hall and a dive bar that had $2 you call its  

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@bercy10 You guys are so touchy. I was messing with all of you. I'm at work and yes I am allowed to be on the internet when we are slow. So, I'm killing time by messing with people.  

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@avestan yes start backpedaling now.  

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@avestan

Answer 21

It’s cool to hang with the boys, but I definitely get why this would upset you.  

Answer 22

I live in LA, $130 sounds about right for a night out  

Answer 23

I’d loose my crap if my husband spent $130 on himself for dinner. That’s crazy! I would def be pulling from his allowance the next few weeks till he makes it up lol

Answer 24

$50 just on dinner? What did u expect him to order?  

Answer 25

Depending on where he went, that really isn't difficult, especially if they had drinks, appetizers, food.  

Answer 26

Damn! How much did he eat?  

Answer 27

I would be upset too. If you agreed on 50$ then, even if he spent 60-70 , its better than 130 and now you are expected to cover the difference!  

Answer 28

Was that his half or did he pay for both! Therapy woul have been cheaper  

Answer 29

That’s about right. When my best friend and I go out it’s about $150. ‍♀️

Answer 30

My husband and I have spent $250 on a dinner. Def possible depending on where you go. I totally see why you're upset, but I would let it go and agree that it won't happen again lol

Answer 31

$130 CAD is about $97 USD, so that’s not too extravagant for 2 meals and drinks

Answer 32

Just a thought but his mental health is important. I would not blow up about it. Maybe make a light joke like “I’m not leaving you two alone with the debit card again! Or just tell him you’re glad he had a guys night out but ask him next time to watch the cost or find ways to offset it. No one is perfect.  

Answer 33

I just went to dinner with my boo and the bill was $190 plus tip . and we didn’t even order drinks or soda lol . so yea it’s not that unbelievable

Answer 34

Drinks? Or did he treat his bud

Answer 35

This is why we have personal spending allowances each month. I can’t blame my husband for feeling stuck or trapped if he’s not able to spend, but there has to be some sort of ground rules. allowances is that for us. We used to only get $50/Mth for ourselves, if he chose to blow that on eating out that was on him, we have a separate savings for family outings.  

Answer 36

The budget killer is drinking while eating out, we don’t do that

Answer 37

Guess he’s eating spaghetti for the next 2 weeks.  

Comments

@fervent ramen lol. that’s even cheaper lol

Answer 38

My husband did that two weekends ago he spent the afternoon playing golf and then he went and had a $500 dinner with all of the guys play golf with while I am here who never gets a girls night never get nothing ever.  

Answer 39

$150 might be normal but that doesn’t mean she budgeted that much for it. he either didn’t list or didn’t care and OP has every right to be upset.  

Answer 40

What’s wrong with having a $50 budget? Some people can’t afford more than that. I definitely can’t. Just because you can spend more doesn’t mean you have to make people feel bad for having a budget. My husband and I don’t get any spending money. We only are able to go out for our birthdays or anniversary. And the most we’ve ever spent on a meal was $80. Which hurt us for a couple weeks. Also we don’t drink. Regardless of the amount, if they agreed/talked about a budget, she has every right to be upset if he does something completely different and overspends.  

Answer 41

Every time I’ve seen my husband out with other men, it becomes a match to see who can offer to buy the most drinks. It’s annoying. A fun night out doesn’t need to be competitive ‍♀️

Answer 42

I totally get blowing the budget and being upset. but if it's not something he does often I personally wouldnt fight over it. this is also however why we have a sinking fund for exactly this type of thing "night out"

Answer 43

Damn, reading through some of these comments makes me so glad me and my partner do not share finances lol.  

Answer 44

Everyone has an opinion. Money comes and goes. Good times make memories that last a lifetime. It’s always good to plan for the future but live for the moment.