+23 votes
by (2.5k points)
Private/Public schools - is it really worth to pay for tuition? I live in a suburban area in Ohio, my children currently go to my public school system I graduated from. I was recently approached by dad/step mom (daughters) with split tuition expenses if we move her into a private school. My daughter (4th grade) has anxiety and motor apraxia, large groups of kids are a big trigger for her. She has hated school since kindergarten and they feel private schooling would give her a better opportunity to succeed. She is a C average student, but given her opinion of it she doesnt try very hard but is very bright and an intellectual. I also have another child who is 4 years younger (different father) who excells in the public school (he is in 1st grade, has never missed a single point on any paper and enjoys it) I really would prefer both of my children are in the same system, however I would be okay with just sending my daughter until my son is older if the pros outweighted the cons. My ex-husband and his wife and I get along decently and we have a shared parenting custodial order. One conflict we have always ran into is my exhusband became very successful after our divorce and I am very low income. Sometimes they (unintentionally? )suggest things that they may have the extra funding for, but its not even within my reach. Our county was granted the educational choice scholarship so I was considering applying for a scholarship for tuition but I am not even sure if this would be financially possible without 100% paid.  
Private/Public schools - is it really worth to pay for tuition?

20 Answers

+31 votes
by (1.2k points)
 
Best answer
Private schools also often assume many expenses can be added to tuition- Uniforms, books, trips, all kinds of fees. I would look hard at the social status of the community and see if it is a good fit for you.  
by (3k points)
@mandie I agree. We pay almost $400 per year for an application fee and there are so many small expenses. But I think buying uniforms actually saves us money.  
by (1.2k points)
One school we looked at wanted $1, 500 for one of the fees.  
+2 votes
by (3.5k points)
I will do everything in my power to keep my child in private school. I’m so thankful it’s within my means. Maybe apply for the scholarship and see what happens?  
+6 votes
by (3.1k points)
Does your daughter receive services through school? I know private schools are not required to provide those services and sometimes aren't equipped to handle less typical students.  
by (3k points)
@lathing completely agree with you!  
by (11.6k points)
THIS! Private schools sometimes even kick out "atypical" children or make it harder for them to succeed or experience much higher levels of bullying even in smaller peer groups. I would do all the research possible to make sure you know their policies and see if you can find parents for children that are alternatively educated before making that switch. There may be a better option for you like, a magnet school one county over or something else outside the box, that just hasn't presented itself yet. My daughter remains in the public school system for this very reason (and I moved to a county that stretches my budget because it puts her in a special school district but is better for her). I promise there are options. Private schools are great, and there are also some really great public schools too with some amazing federally funded benefits. Financially, there are a lot of times where aid is only provided to 80 or 90%. It would like be based on the combined income with a shared custody agreement rather than yours alone. It's definitely still worth applying for though. Everything helps.  
by (11.6k points)
@kery2 I would agree with that wholeheartedly. It absolutely depends on the area and laws there. In many areas, private schools are not required to adhere to IEPs and 504s. Federal law surrounding these plans only protects public schools. Each state could certainly supplement. Not all schools or districts are created equal whether private or public.  
+25 votes
by (3.1k points)
I prefer public, I hated private and my kids excel. If he’s making amazing money and knows you struggle I would suggest he pays the bulk.  
+18 votes
by (3k points)
My son is currently in a private school and I find in our area the private schools put much more pressure on the kids to excel and score high on tests. I would ask a lot of questions about what they do for kids who need extra help. In my experience, public schools are much better because they have the funding to do more. They are also required to have IEP’s and 504’s when needed. Our private school will not do them. On tuition, your adjusted gross income from your most recent tax return is used to determine your eligibility for a reduction. In my state, you can get either $500 off or free tuition. You could probably google your state’s guidelines.  
+12 votes
by (6.1k points)
I would go tour and meet with the school to discuss individually, without ex, and try to decide as daughters mom what I’d think is best. Some private schools offer less supports than public. The other caveat is it may be an amazing school but if it jeopardizes my whole family’s wellbeing by taxing me too much, then I’d try to find different options. For example does daughter qualify for EIP or a 504 plan in her current school?  
+14 votes
by (12.1k points)
For kids with special learning needs sometimes private is better due to smaller class sizes. Find out if she will get services in the classroom and if they off tuition assistance or reduced tuition for volunteering in a classroom or office. Sometimes working the aftercare or lunchtime can help reduce costs both my kids went to Christian private I-I and we had scholarships when we had difficulty with employment. Also, call the public school special ed department to see if theres a lisasion for private school for your daughter . Definitely look into it for your daughter
+30 votes
by (1.6k points)
My eldest son is in private and my youngest is in public. They’re both thriving in their own environments. We have a scholarship for private that covers 60% and my husband’s grandmother pays the remaining. My youngest isn’t in private because they won’t accept him. We’ve done a shadow day 3 times and apparently he’s not a “good fit”. ‍♀️‍♀️
+15 votes
by (10.9k points)
I think this depends on so many different factors and is really a personal decision for your family and what’s best for your child(ren).  
+8 votes
by (6.7k points)
1) who would be responsible for getting her to/from school and school activities? 2) can you afford tuition (or half the tuition as suggested)? 3) does your daughter have any interest in attending this school?  
+8 votes
by (690 points)
I think it could come down to the rating as well. Private and charter schools in my county have B+ ratings, at best. Is that better than the public schools? Yes? But am I going to pay all that money for my child to get less than excellent/exceptional schooling? No. If we move one county over (which we are trying for) the public schools have A ratings on average. If you can compromise and do that, I recommend it. Many public schools or public charter/magnet schools now have programs in place for children with various learning abilities
+26 votes
by (20.7k points)
My bestie splits it with her ex. Her oldest had high anxiety and some other issues being in the larger classes. Causes him to have some actions (trying to calm himself) that caused other kids to make fun of him - only made the situation worse. Anyways he goes to private. They split the cost based on a percentage of their income - so she picks up the bulk because she significantly makes more than her ex. Her other son is in public and loves it. Only time it’s a big issue is breaks are at different times (like spring break) so when they were younger it was a struggle with care while she was at work.  
+17 votes
by (2.7k points)
Depends on your child and schools available. My daughter did great in public. My son did not but thrived in private. For me worth every penny!  
+21 votes
by (4.3k points)
Depends on your public school system. I would never send my kids back to our public school system. My oldest is in private right now and my other 2 are homeschooled. Anything that will help your kid thrive now and in the future is worth it IMO ♥️
+32 votes
by (3.1k points)
I work in the school system so understand this student struggle. If it were my little (when he was in elementary school) I know the change would have been very stressful and likely would have impacted him negatively. I would have met with his teacher and a counselor for a plan and perhaps put resources towards a private tutor. This way, my child would have extra support during the school day as well as academic support with a tutor he related to and trusted. A child must experience successes to make strides. Many times they don’t feel these successes and tend to “check out” a bit. In a private school, my son would have needed additional support (as mentioned above) and I am not sure the change would have benefitted him in any way.  
+16 votes
by (1.6k points)
All 4 of my kids have attended private since preschool. All I can say it that It depend on the public school system. In Oregon, some schools are ok and some are just awful. That being said, some private schools can be toxic as well. Smaller classes, kids don't have a lot of friends to pick from. Resources can be harder to get (extra help, extra curricular activities, etc. ) Do your research before you make a decision. Hope this helps.  
+25 votes
by (5.1k points)
My son has been in private school since 1st grade. He's a junior in college now. Wouldn't have it any other way. My daughter was in private school from kindergarten through 12th grade. She's at a state school for college.  
+28 votes
by (4.1k points)
For my area I have seen kids kicked out of private because they had special needs or did not score well on their tests. (Can’t boast great numbers if you have kids that need the extra assistance. ) I think that is where some of them fail a bit because they can pick who can come and learn. I would tour, I would ask about if she needs extra help what they offer. Private schools have different guidelines they can follow due to the fact that they are a paid service versus government funded. Might also inquire since you guys have joint if they will combine your income for any scholarship or assistance, some places do that as well. Honestly, like any public school district it depends on the area, their guidelines/requirements, and policies.  
+30 votes
by (3.6k points)
I would suggest splitting by percentage of income. My daughter is in Montessori, husband doesn’t agree with spending the money but I would sell a kidney to keep her there especially while she’s young.  
by (3.6k points)
@kery2 same! She’s in kindergarten going into first next year. I was part of the expansion committee to allow for the growth of the school so I really want to see her continue to go and thrice without being confined to a desk and subjected to testing.  
+23 votes
by (550 points)
From some who has spent 6 years in private and 6 years in public, I feel private is the way to go. I went to pretty decent public schools but it was surprising how behind in their education they were. My first year in one I was thinking, why the hell do they not know this already. I don’t have kids but I’ve always said if I can afford it, my kids are going private.  
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