Question

My oldest daughter moved back in a year ago after being on her own a year. She is 23 yrs old, and we have a good relationship. We have plenty of space and plenty of privacy. The move back in was good she enrolled in esthetician school and I co-signed the $10, 000 loan and I am making the payments. I also co-signed a new to her car for $8, 000 (she currently owes $5, 000) Her only monthly payment is the $150 car loan. I keep encouraging her to take this opportunity to make bigger car payments while at home so she can move out debt free. She works part time. (Both school and work are on hold due to the pandemic, but she’s getting unemployment) Tonight she told me she wants to move out because her friend needs a roommate. I’m so disappointed in her that she is not taking this time to get out of debt and get a savings account. Any words of wisdom that I should tell her? Or that would help me let go of the disappointment I am experiencing?  

Answer 1

I'm 20 and have moved back with my parents also so I think I kind of get where she's coming from and you as well. Just know that you are such an amazing and supportive mom for doing that for her. If you've already explained to her why it would be wiser to stay, I would leave it at that. At the end of the day she's an adult now and this will be a learning experience for her and sometimes we need to learn from our mistakes. Hopefully she chooses the right path, but either way it'll be ok

Answer 2

I don’t have any words of encouragement but just know that you’re such a good mama!  

Answer 3

Wow you’re such a supportive mom! You have every right to be disappointed but at the end of the day it’s her decision and it would be ok to let her know that you don’t plan on co signing anything for awhile.  

Answer 4

Honestly. just be supportive of her decision. Nothing will teach her better than real life lessons. Just knowing you're there to support her will go a lot further than trying to tell a 23 year old how to manage herself (speaking from experience from my past)

Answer 5

I’m 23 as well and really only started taking debt seriously when I moved far away from my parents a couple years ago and was really all on my own. Unfortunately, my mom had had many conversations with me along the same lines as you and it went in one ear and right out the other. If you’ve had the convos before and it’s still not clicking to her, there likely isn’t much you’d be able to say to make her change her mind but let her know you’re okay with her decision and support her but that you won’t co-sign any other loans. And when she does come around and realize you’re right, take that as the win and don’t say I told you so  

Answer 6

For you: her becoming an adult is hard. She needs to make mistakes without judgement. You will feel disappointment and sadness, but all you can do is continue to be supportive (but not a door mat, no more co-signing). For her: DO WHAT YOUR MOM SUGGESTS! I'm 31 and wish I'd had a good relationship with my parents in a house I could have privacy in at that age. Deal with the debt, then move in with a friend. Especially since it affects your mom's credit score. I have a lot of guilt right now because their house needs so much work, and they would be able to afford it all in one go if they hadn't spent the money on my bills.  

Answer 7

There really is nothing you can do, you can explain that she's wasting money to help a friend which just puts her in a bad position but she probably won't listen, my daughter told me the same thing then we told her we wouldnt be helping her because she had a room in our house! She is empathetic to friends and thats nice but will be her issue in the end. sometimes they just have to make their own mistakes.  

Answer 8

Maybe explain your expectations to her. Give her the tools to see what it would look like staying with you for another 6 months to a year and vs moving now. Sounds like she is getting pressure from a friend to move out? Also what happens if this doesn't end and unemployment runs out and she can't get a job quickly?  

Comments

@kuhlman from past experience of the 4 different apts. I had rented in the past 10 years, the landlord or property managers typically want to see your income X2 to x3 times the amount of the monthly rent. I’m not even sure if a landlord/ prop. Mgr. would even consider unemployment benefits in place of a job during a time like this. I hope my comment does not come off as rude in any way.  

Answer 9

I would say to her, are you doing this for you and your future, or are you doing this to help your friend and her future. It's a decision not to be taken lightly, as her bills will be greater than if she stays where she is. At the end of the day it comes down to whether she thinks she can support herself and still have a life she would like. X

Comments

@kenton yes, yes and yes!  

Answer 10

One saying I heard from Dave Ramsey that got me excited about paying off debt is "live like no one else, so one day you can live like no one else. " Explain what it could mean to her and her future if she did this. And then let her take the ropes. She is an adult, if she doesn't listen, then that's her choice. She may regret it later on, but she has to live and learn from her own mistakes.  

Answer 11

I could have written this myself our daughter is 23, but a cosmetologist, has a 1 yr old son and decided to move out at the beginning of the pandemic to live with a girl friend and her kids. Although we were disappointed at first, we now think this really pushed her to grow up. Cut the ties and finally take some responsibility. (She has moved out a few times and always came back). We told her we would support her decision but she needed to stick with it, the good and the bad.  

Answer 12

How can she afford to move out? Sounds like she has it made. Why would she become responsible if you’re going to completely take care of her finances?  

Answer 13

My moms rule was always stay home as long as you need to but once you leave you can’t come back. It worked well for all 3 of us. We all left when it was the right time. Are you willing to let her come and go when things don’t work it? Does she have the expectation that “moms is always my backup plan”. She’s an adult and gets to make her own decisions but how long does it continue?  

Comments

@danais I put that rule in place for myself because I knew my mom wouldn't.  

Answer 14

Put those loan in her name solely ASAP, and let her live her best life.  

Comments

@unfeeling YES! I agree! And in the future, don't co-sign anything for her anymore.  

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@unfeeling doubt she could Get her name off the loan. Her daughter may have only gotten the loan because she has a co-signer.  

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@dissever1 she at least gotta try. Unless the car and school tuition is a gift ( which it will be if her daughter can’t pay) she gotta try.  

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@unfeeling did say she couldn’t. just that it’s unlikely. Used to work at a bank. I know how they treat young people.  

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@dissever1  

Answer 15

I think it’s great that your so supportive but try and look at it from her point of view. She went from living under your roof her whole life to then having her own life, her own rules and no one to tell her otherwise. And now that she is back under your roof that’s a hard adjustment and she probably misses her life without you. (please don’t take that meanly I promise I didn’t mean it that way. ) but I’m sure she was used to her routines and her way of doing things. She probably feels like she’s 15 all over again and misses her freedom. The fact is she has to do what makes her happy. Life is short.  

Comments

@gabrielson yeah but maturity tells you that everything and everyone comes with rules. Adulthood isn’t age it’s responsibility. Saying life is short, it gets shorter with no plans.  

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@preform your right everything has rules but I think you missed my point. If you go from living on your own to back to your parents house you will feel like you a regressing and like your 15 all over again. That’s means more than likely the child in this situation might relinquish some of those responsibilities because they are at home. And mom and dad would be there to do certain things like wash the dishes or cook. And life is short regardless if you have plans or not. And me saying that life is short was more to say hey life is short so she should make her own decisions on if she wants to move out or not. Also life is short so you should let your children make their own decisions. We all need to make our own decisions and learn from them. And they only way you will learn is if you make those choices.  

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@gabrielson I get what you’re saying but I have to agree to disagree. We shorten our lives by sometimes thinking out of emotion vs logic. At 23 the age is there the maturity isn’t how do we know because she wasn’t always paying her own way and when she found an out to not feel like a repressed child and took a dive. But maturity would have said let me live beyond today and think long term. Again understanding age doesn’t equate maturity. I was fine with mine living here and being an adult but it comes with responsibility period be it at your friends or parents home. I can agree on letting her make her own decisions however some decisions you can see the outcome because you see the process being taken.  

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@preform see for me I have been in a similar situation as her daughter. I had to quit my job in order to go to cosmetology school so I’m speaking from personal experience from her child’s point of view. Plus I’m a cancer survivor so my mottos is alway life is short so why not. You can’t plan everything. And also every person is going to feel differently put in that situation. We’ve all been through life differently and have had far different experiences. Plus even if you as a parent can see the outcome and know 100% what will happen doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let the child make their own choice. Life is to be lived. It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s fun. And everyone should have the chance to grow and learn on their own than always listening to mommy and daddy. It’s the same as relationships. My parents knew my 3 year engagement wasn’t going to go anywhere. And I knew they thought that. But I had to work it all out for myself to become the best version of myself. It’s the same thing. We have to do things on our own to really learn the lessons. Because you can teach someone something but unless they live it they will never truly learn it and appreciate it.  

Answer 16

My parents told me the making adult decisions was good, but then I also had to take the adult consequences. She should be paying her student loan and car. I would let her know that moving out is fine, but this is the debt you have. Loan and car payment. Now add rent, utilities, food etc. Does her income support all of that?  

Answer 17

She should be paying the car loan and student loan in addition to setting up a savings account. I would sit down and go over the numbers with her. Does she have the money to pony up 50% of the security deposit and 50% of the utilities. I would show her your bills and ask her to start contributing 25% of them plus rent to you in addition to paying her student loan and car loan. Tell her to cal around on Monday for rental insurance quotes so she can factor that money into her expenses. She needs to crunch the numbers now or suffer the consequences later.  

Answer 18

Thanks for all the feedback and comments. It’s helped me think about this from a few different angles. I will talk to her more about it and her plans. I would like her to think more long term but realize she has her own mistakes to make and learn. I try to remind her that I pay her cell phone car insurance etc. but she just doesn’t seem to get it.  

Comments

@kuhlman I tried to protect my daughter (also 23) from making the same mistakes I did. Sadly, they seem to stick when you learn them yourself. I told her that our door was always open for listening but she’s an adult and being an adult has responsibilities. (Good and bad). We told ours that we would pay 1 more month of phone bill and then she’s got to get her own plan. She just did.  

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@kuhlman I'd be cutting the ties. Everything should be in her name and she should pay her phone bill, car insurance, gas, utilities, rent, that's just real life. When my kiddos turned 16 they had a job to pay for their car gas and entertainment and or extras. As soon as they were 18 and or graduated they had to pay some rent and or utility money like 100 bucks to live at home. They paid their own car insurance, maintenance, and cell bills. Not to say we didn't help them esp with tuition/ books but when that collage fund was gone they needed to know how to budget and save and use their money for necessary things. I did co sign a car loan for 1 kid. She made every single payment and actually paid it off early. Did they always make good money choices? No! But thats part of learning and as adults they needed to figure that out.  

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@kuhlman get her to fill out the budget worksheet/expense page. Sometimes it's hard for a young person to grasp the reality of living (just like us all no matter what our age) until it's staring us in our face in INK!  

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@dhahran great idea!  

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Ask her to make a pros and cons list so she can make a wise decision.  

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When they don't get it, you need to let them fall. Sit down and help her make out a budget, including cellphone/car insurance/loans/etc. If she leaves from under your roof, so should her bills. Decide what boundaries you are comfortable with setting with her in terms of lending money, and make a spreadsheet to track regardless of whether you want her to pay you back or not. (It took one "No, we don't have money in the budget for that" to finally give me the boundary I had been asking my parents for for years)

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@kuhlman as a mother of two here that was an adult child before I got married, please stop helping her so much financially. My parents tried to do this as well and it just made me spoiled and irresponsible. When you talk to her, let her know you will no longer be supporting her financially since she is choosing to grow up faster and make irresponsible decisions. I was on the other side, let me tell you when I had to start taking care of myself completely financially, it was a huge wake up call. I am grateful my father loaned me money so that I could go back ro school but he knew exactly what day I would pay him back and that's exactly what I did. I say that because there are things you help them with, and there are things you don't. She wants to make decisions like an adult? Ok, but she also needs to financially responsible like an adult as well. I pray everything goes well. God bless  

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@kuhlman this is almost identical to what I'm experiencing with my daughter except she has an 8 month old which is making those emotions even more difficult to manage when she makes mistakes. While having my granddaughter has made her more responsible, she still just doesn't get it and can't stop with the living in the moment mindset, rather than planning and thinking about the consequences of today's actions.  

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@kuhlman my statement to my daughter was as long as I am paying you have to listen to what I say, when you pay for you then I have no right to have a say. This helped her take on her own bills. Maybe it’s time for her to start paying for her own cell, insurance, etc and then she can decide if she can afford to move out.  

Answer 19

I hate to say it nothing you can do. Let the bird fly the nest. You’ve taught her what she needs to know. Now it’s her turn to apply it. My oldest just did it to me. Graduated then flew the nest after an ex came back during quarantine (needing a new roommate ‍♀️) I’m a single mom of 3 outside of her. I felt betrayed but I’m also use to making things happen. Just like you I worked my tail off and sacrificed so she could graduate from college and said hey just stay home for 2 years (1yr moving $ other year emergence $) and save there is nothing like starting out in the red when you don’t have too. But, guess what she did. Like you I pay cell phones, etc. Moved out with no steady job or car. I let it go. I feel you it’s more disappointment and fear but I’m also like some lessons are best learned hands on. So, I will suggest let the adult understand what adulting is and isn’t. I made it clear too that I will use the “Good Neighbor Policy” going forward. My home is not one where you get to make a revolving door when you want to make sure others are good and not yourself 1st.  

Comments

Good Neighbor Policy if a friend asked can they stay with me I would agree with some conditions. Sure you may stay till X amount of time and here is how much I expect you to contribute (of course they wouldn’t know your actually putting it into an act). They are free to be independent yet understand the general rules of the home that foster responsibility & freedoms. They also will have a plan set on how long they will be here.  

Answer 20

Ask if she would be willing to sit down and work out a budget. Tell her that you are supportive of her and her decisions but you want to help her make sure she succeeds. Let her know your concerns, but do it without making her feel like she is making a mistake. Treat this like a learning experience and not a bad decision. If this doesn't work out and she moved back in tell her that if she moves in you and her need to do an inventory of what worked and what didn't work and again, treat it like a learning experience. If she moves back in make sure you tell her that in order to move back in she must follow certain guidelines, but make sure those guidelines are reasonable. Young people don't see into the future as well as their parents do. That comes with experience. Understand that everyone makes mistakes, including your daughter. It is how you learn from them that helps you with the next challenge.  

Comments

Oh, and ensure that when you talk to her use phrasing that shows how you feel about something. Use phrasing like "It makes me anxious that you aren't putting money aside for an Emergency Fund. I would feel more comfortable if you were able to find $20 a week that you can set aside in case something bad happens. It always does, like remember the time (insert personal experience of how you didn't have an EF here and it negatively affected you). "

Answer 21

Say if she moves out she pays all her own bills! That was my parents rule at 18 and I had a baby!  

Answer 22

I feel like as an educator you may have dropped the ball by not having a "this is what's expected of you in order for me to take financial and legal liability for your education and car and we are sitting down to teach you how to budget " conversation. If she wants to move out and experience adult life. Put the loans in her name. As a surgical tech I work with maaany doctors who baby their children and as grown adults in their mid 20's and early 30's. Are STILL paying their bills while they moved out. I'll never forget the day one ortho Dr who was a total stickler for what he expected of his surgical team. He actually broke scrub during a surgery and ran out of the room because he forgot to wake up his 25 yr old grown son so he could register for his flight back to college the next day . Non of us could believe. Absolutely shocked. Don't be that parent who doesn't teach their child how to budget and the power of financial literacy.  cautionary tale.  

Answer 23

What I tell my adult child (19) who recently said he was considering living with friends. You need to consider when you move out of my house you take the bills I pay with you. He changed his tune real quick. We will help as long as he's in school and lives with us.  

Comments

@poore oh I like that. My baby is only 17 months but I’m gonna write that down.  

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@poore exactly what I told mine.  

Answer 24

I understand wanting space/freedom but I also know the value, love, and safety of moms house. I’d kill to be able to go back home for just a weekend let alone to live. I couldn’t imagine roommates again they were gross  Rent free for just 3 months would change my life in so many ways. Take your name off the loans and let her live her life. She’s not interested in guidance right now. She has some maturing to do. Also don’t bail her out. If or when she says they skipped out on their part or she got behind. Steer her in the right direction but don’t just run to pay. She’ll never learn. (Of course if it’s truly a bad situation save your baby) but let her attempt first.  

Comments

@affable2292 This is what I kept telling my mom.  "Please stop giving me money when I ask, or I'll never stop. "

Answer 25

I would monitor the car payment and make sure it gets paid or your credit score will take a hit. Some times the best lessons are learn by going through something yourself. She will learn from your example.  

Comments

@aphasia luckily she has never missed a payment or has been late on it.  

Answer 26

I am a very visual person so what helps me is to show me the math on paper. For example paying her minimum payments and the time period and any interest. Then show the same info with an additional $50 per month added. Or show how much she’ll need to get an apt of her own written down which is usually 1st and last month’s rent up front, plus food, utilities etc.  

Answer 27

My deal was at my parents that I had to be in school full time or part time and working the other part. I chose full time college and then got a full time job and worked nights so I could go to school during the day. My parents paid my cell phone until I got married and had a baby. I have to say it went very differently with my sister. They co signed on a car for her, she stopped paying and they were left footing the bill. So, just warning you for that to be a possibility if and when she does move out, especially if she isn’t financially ready, you need to keep in mind that her car payment could become yours. It gets really sticky when you’re legally bound. I do recommend having a serious conversation with her.  

Comments

@plicate300 I paid my kids cell phones until they got married too.  

Answer 28

Speaking from experience, I was the only kid growing up in my friends group who didn’t have parents who paid for everything. and I learned A LOT from that. Now being 27, half of them are still living at home and can’t afford anything, the other half have moved out, but are still having mom and dad pay for everything, and blowing money on stupid things. I’ve bought my first cell phone cash out, I bought my first two cars, everything I wanted I bought myself and At 21 I bought a house. All because my mom let me make my own mistakes and taught me that things don’t just get handed to you, I appreciate everything she’s ever done for me, even though I don’t say it enough. (Ironic since it’s Mother’s Day) but If I we’re you, let her move out, but also stop paying for everything for her, her loan, her bills.  

Answer 29

Another question, would be to ask her why she moved back in with you, and if moving out is going to accomplish that goal.  

Answer 30

If I could go back I absolutely would. Moving out so soon caused me to go into more debt and went into my marriage with it. Now it affects my child.  

Answer 31

She’s moving out because her friend needs a roommate. Sit down with your daughter and spell it all out on paper. These are YOUR bills YOU will be paying if you move out. Can you afford these bills PLUS rent and utilities? Helping out a friend who needs a roommate is not a strong, financially sound reason to move.  

Comments

@mantilla exactly! Besides all the independent is not realistic. It should be interdependence. Because when they are done using them they dump them and not only do lose the friendship, money, and hearts are broke too.  

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This reason (helping a friend who needs a roommate) is ridiculous; outright silly.  

Answer 32

Thanks for this post! I thought I was the only one in this boat. I gave my child a foundation and adults don’t roommate. Period! It’s not about saving it’s about being fiscally responsible. If a roommate dips your left holding the bag. I also don’t believe in the because my parents did it to me or let ppl struggle when ppl have already shown that it doesn’t work generations b4 us. But like most have said you can’t be a crutch and ruin your credit. I am practicing boundaries at this point and let the chips fall where they may. I know roommates come with responsibility too and those sometimes cost more than $ but friendships.  

Answer 33

Just remember she's 23 . She is probably only thinking about moving in with her friends and not living with her parents . If she can handle the car payment . Plus make sure she knows she moves out there are other bills too!  

Answer 34

How are you protecting yourself in the $$ with this school/car loan if she misses/doesn't keep her payments? Let her move out, and think twice and then wait two weeks before allowing her to move back in with you. Or do you plan on keeping the "revolving door" oiled?  

Comments

@kings9886 Natalerafferty we had made the agreement if she enrolls in the 2nd year portion of school that I would pay the first year. I’m not as worried about paying the school loan and have it built it into my budget. It’s more of the car loan and that she should pay it off while at home is what I’m concerned about. As of right now she does make extra payments on her car.  

Answer 35

I don’t know that you can say anything, she is 23 and has to learn her way. You have guided her the best you can, now you have to let her make her own decisions and live with the consequences.  

Answer 36

I would watch the TBM videos with her. Help her to find her why as to why she would want to be smarter with money and debt. Light a fire in her to have financial freedom. Education is always the best step. :)

Answer 37

You’re a great supportive mom! All

Answer 38

I went down that road. I would have her call the two companies that you are co-signed with, and have her take you off and put everything in her name.  

Answer 39

I'd never co sign a loan for my kids for anything. That was not a good idea. She can move whenever she wants as she's an adult and she will decide what to pay so it may hurt your credit.  

Comments

@rist21 I second that  

Answer 40

I personally had to do things the hard way and learn on my own.  much to my parents dismay. But I think it has made me stronger and more focused now. Sorry, but she is old enough to try and tread on water. And she needs to make her own mistakes and learn. I know you love her, but she is going to have to learn one way or another.  

Answer 41

My son moved out to support a friend who then after a few months decided to move back home to save money for grad school and his father wasn’t doing well. And my son ended up moving in with my parents because we already had taken over his room. And he couldn’t quite afford a place of his own. He is now living with another friend. So my question for her is how reliable is her friend and does she have a Plan B?  

Answer 42

At the end of the day it’s her choice; you can go through the pros and cons but if she is guilted into staying, it’s not healthy for your relationship better. Sometimes your relationship with her is worth more than the money she would/should be saving! With that said, I lived at home after graduating college, till I got married at 28  I treasured those years at home (though I wasn’t home a lot lol), and my parents graciously told me to just save my rent  

Answer 43

I find it’s easy to forget that everyone is on their own journey. Your journey is to pay down the loan as quick as possible, but her journey may be different. Please consider having her refinance any loans that you no longer wish to be liable for. You have great goals in mind for her, keep up the good work!  

Answer 44

Can you sit her down and make her a budget that shows the reality of her situation, and the impact of her decision on your finances? Maybe that would help her understand. If not, is it possible for you to remove your name from the loan? That is a tough situation, because you are being. Good mom and you don’t want to put your daughter in any kind of financial distress, but you want her to be responsible. Good luck whatever you do.  

Answer 45

Share your perspective with love and respect then just love her. Some of us gotta do things our own way. Good job, mama. ♥️

Answer 46

It’s hard bc for me, I had to learn on my own bc it was hard to get anything through. Granted I wish I would have known more at that time as well. Really all you can do is explain it to her and try to get her to understand but ultimately she will do what she wants. But I’d make her make to student loan payment. My dad helped me get a student loan and I was always responsible for it and still pay it today. That’s how it should be.  

Answer 47

Stop helping her? Your agenda is clearly not her agenda. good luck to you and all of us with unemployed adult kids.  

Answer 48

She is her own person with her own path. To be honest I think it's a bad idea to cosign anything for anyone. How can you expect her to understand being in debt is bad if you helped her get into it? $150 car payment isn't bad. I'm sure she'll do just fine. She wants her independence and it's normal. I would just let it go. Try to get her to refinance the loan into only her name though.  

Answer 49

From a daughter's perspective, it was really important emotionally to move out of the parent home. Even if she flounders a bit, sometimes you just have to be out on your own. But I hope she works that loan off too. Protect yourself there - sounds like you have a good relationship and she's being responsible with payments.  

Answer 50

I know it’s definitely upsetting on her wanting to move out again, we all learn at our own pace. I’m 22 been on my half ass journey since I was 18. I chose to stay living on my own because that’s what I wanted. If I thought about that BEFORE moving out I would’ve been debt free by now. ‍♀️ We all have to learn on our own. It’ll click when she wants it to click. I would help her the way you see fit, but I wouldn’t pay for her schooling if you had an agreement. Stay at home rent free, mom pays for schooling. Move out, you pay your bills. ‍♀️ My mom was very helpful to a certain extent if I needed to borrow money I needed to pay it back right when I got paid. I understood it, it works for us now. present time, I paid off my moms card. she let me be an authorized user on it back when I was 17 and I messssedddd up her credit, now I’m repaying everything I can.  

Answer 51

Developmentally, it's *great* that she wants to be independent and be out there in the world. I know that we want to protect them from things like debt, etc, but I think you should be proud that she wants to be out there in the world taking care of herself.  

Answer 52

My son is 24 and after being on his own for 6 years supporting himself he is now at home - he had moved his stuff in to store it while traveling but then Covid19 got him kind of stuck here. I LOVE having him around, and he is saving money, but now that he's been here several months he's preparing to move out again. He wants to be independent, and I get it, and I want that for him. (but I'll miss him! )

Answer 53

I’m in this exact spot. My dd is insistent on getting out on her own instead of taking advantage of this debt payoff opportunity. But seriously, what can we do but love them through their decisions.  

Answer 54

As parents we want nothing more to protect and provide for our children. Sometimes our good intentions serve to create adults who can barely function. There are potential scenarios that I would worry about as a parent in this situation; however, I would suggest (and I recognize this is easy for an outsider to say) to have faith that some of your teachings have had an impact and trust your adult child to make this adult decision for herself, letting her know she has your love and support. Regardless of the outcome this will be a valuable and necessary learning experience.  

Answer 55

Im 23 and honestly she has to learn from mistakes. I moved out at 17 living with my grandparents and moving out at 18/19 with my husband when we were just dating and boy did we learn alot. We were living with his parents and eventually moved out on our own and moved back in because we were struggling financially. However we DO NOT let his parents take responsibility for our finances even if they offer. At most car insurance ans thats about it. And of course helpinf her with rent and utilities. Its such a blessing when a parent wants to help their children no matger how old they get and we take it for granted until we experience the hardships. We are super grateful because we have accumulated a goof bit of savings and while being here we want to be rid of our debt before moving out. I say let her but be sure you make it clear that if she moves out to take responsibility of her car payment and maybe even take the car from her if she cant pay it. We had our first repossessed because we were tackling too much finances.  

Answer 56

I would not co-sign for another thing. but other than that she will learn. hopefully the roommate pays their half.