Question

Hi ‍♀️ I’m new to this group and really thankful I found it. Basically in a nutshell I’ve had debt for over 10 years and keep getting into the vicious cycle of making payments, racking it back up. We’re over $30k in debt and I’m just wondering: What helped you the most to get started, steps you took to not make it feel so overwhelming? Helped you the most? We already do a budget but we are compulsive buyers and it’s hard to break that cycle. We also have a 10 month old son, a 12 year old dog that’s been on medication for 4 years which equals to $300/month. I budget that myself but I feel like I won’t be able to afford to keep doing this anymore. I feel like I’m in a vicious cycle and can’t get out. I’ve already looked through the file section, and bookmarked all of the links on getting started. Thanks

Answer 1

I have done this too. One reason I live TBM is for one thing she said. Your debt free journey is more than your debt payments. She wants us to make sure we are preventing having to use CCs ever again. Some debt programs tell debt, debt, DEBT. Miko wants us to plan our finances so we finally get done with using CCs. Making sure we have savings and sinking funds ensures we are setting ourselves up for success. We all want the debt gone but I think we need to focus on getting in the habit of preplanning for expenses. :)

Answer 2

Girl. it took 11 years for me and my husband to get it together. We knew all the things we should be doing but couldn't string together enough successes to make it feel like progress so we would slowly slip back into our old ways. What I discovered, after many years of reflection, was that I was too controlling and not doing a good job of communicating with my husband, and he wasn't very good at holding me and himself accountable. Honestly, we just drew a line in the sand in 2014 and told ourselves that living for today was not helping us plan for tomorrow. We got focused, created a plan that was more than just a budget, and set some priorities - something to look forward to, right?! We cleared up $35k in debt in about a year, all while cash flowing his return to college, and closed all our credit cards once they were paid off. You say you do a budget but are compulsive spenders, so it really sounds like you put a plan on paper but aren't good at following through. Is that a fair statement?  

Comments

@lympho1 That is absolutely incredible. You guys must feel so good about yourselves for accomplishing that! That’s such a huge win. That’s us right now. We know what we *should* be doing but definitely our bad habits are there. We pay our bills, the essentials, make minimum payments but we definitely spend way above our means. This is also going to change drastically because my mat leave ends soon and I won’t be returning to work for another 6 months and I’ll be taking that unpaid. It’ll be hard but I feel like maybe it’ll be the push we need?  

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That arrangement will definitely add pressure but it could also go wrong and lead to more overwhelm. Ultimately, you and the hubs have to find a reason so strong, so crazy, that it will create long-lasting behavior change. And the reason can't be that you will be out of work for 6 months. You've now got a tiny person depending on you, right? And you wouldn't wish upon them any of the struggles you've had with money, right? So what are you willing to do to make sure you are setting a good example for your child(ren)? This is just something to think about it - your reason can be anything but it has to be so compelling that no purchase will ever distract you from your mission.