Question

For many years I was a single mom to 2 children. I received no support whatsoever from their father, nor the government. I have maintained one job for 23 years and while it was not very lucrative, it always provided. My question is. when my children were younger I did not have the ability to do what I can now. My 25 yr old did not go to college, nor wants to go. But my 18 yr old goes to The University of Florida and I fully support her, financially. My son has made a few comments about how things are so different for her vs him. He doesn’t say it with jealousy, more so that he is happy I no longer struggle. But, I feel like I should do something for him since he was not given the opportunities my daughter has had. (My daughter is also a type 1 diabetic since the age of 4, so she has always been spoiled by family). Has anyone been in this situation and have you done anything for your child to level the playing field so to speak? I am considering putting $1000 in a savings or CD for him. And adding to it as I can since his goal is to buy a home.  

Answer 1

What about a vacation with him? Give you the time together one on one and build some memories you both will forever be able to cherish

Comments

@hamrnand20 I know my parents couldn’t help me or My sisters growing up. With three of us and my mom putting herself through school I saw them struggle, a lot. But they don’t now, they do great. And the vacations I’ve been able to have with my mom one on one have been something I will forever cherish! It’s something no one can ever take away!  

Answer 2

Are you in a place where you could give him the same amount but not toward school? My friend's parent's gave each kid the same amount to do with as they saw fit- school, down payment on a house, wedding. I think they both chose to use it for school but I'm not sure.  

Comments

Also this is if you want to. You shouldn't feel pressured or guilty that you can now do things you couldn't before. People's lives and circumstances change and it sounds like he's very understanding.  

Answer 3

Buy him the tbm digital book and start his house envelope with $1000. 00!  

Answer 4

Maybe a down payment for a house instead of college?  

Answer 5

Mom & son vacation!  

Answer 6

NOPE if you do that or him you need to do that for her regardless if they had the same opportunities. I NEVER got things my little brother got but that is just the way life was back then. My oldest daughter at 28 years old never got the same opportunities as her now 15 yr old sister does. ITS life. And i would never ever do for one now because the 15 yr old has had more opportunities then oldest did. your son CHOOSE not to go to college your daughter choose to so thats on him

Answer 7

Why not ask him? I think 1, 000 toward him buying a house is a beautiful gift ❤️ you couldn’t before but now you can.  

Answer 8

I agree if you can afford it a $1000 towards his house down payment sounds lovely  

Answer 9

Does he have any debt you can put some $ towards?  

Comments

@hamrnand20 good job! That was my only suggestion  

Answer 10

Im currently going through this, its exhausting.  

Answer 11

The truth is, each child is different and each get a different version of us as their parents. This is nothing to feel guilty of but to be mindful of. With saying that, share with him that you would like to do something special for him and ask him what would help your bond, make him feel loved. I don't feel like we should assume what it is he is saying when he says she has it differently than him. He's correct. The goal here is to understand what he means by that and what he may need. I really think this is a special moment in itself and you can understand and love each other better through this conversation. ♡♡♡♡ and you can get insight on what he truly needs.  

Answer 12

Open up retirement account with the money. Roth IRA? Or down payment for house. Both can grow over time