Question

I need some guidance.  I had a baby in September and went back to work in December.I need some guidance. I had a baby in September and went back to work in December. I’m currently working 45-50 hours a week at a very well paying job ($45k a year), but the downside is I don’t see my baby. I’ve been here for two years. Quite literally, I see baby before work to feed him then after work for about an hour before his bedtime. I’m overwhelmed, stressed, and upset. I’ve been offered a part time job for 25ish hours a week and will be making half of that salary. I have some high debt I’m working on and want this part time job, but I’m worried that’s selfish. Any thoughts? Work at my current job another month and save every dime I can then switch? Or stick it out and don’t see my baby except on weekends?  

Answer 1

Tough decision; however, as a mother of 3, these days go by so fast! You can’t get the moments back. Time with your children is precious, but I do realize that bills have to be paid. ❤️ I know it’s tough on a mama’s heart. Good luck!  

Answer 2

I soooo badly wish I could stay home full time when my first baby is due in 3 weeks. Or even cut from 40 hour weeks to part time. My fiancé seems to think we would be better off with me keeping my full time job. You and your SO have to agree on it (if he says yes I say stay home or go to part time and still slowly work on debt) either way it’s a hard decision but babies are little for only a short period.  

Answer 3

Can you ask to work a flex schedule and work 4 10 hour days or r we irk from home 2 days a week or one. Talk to your boss or he and find out your options. If you don’t need the benefits (spouse has them or something) then maybe ask to go down to 30 hours a week and not get Benefits Many companies would rather work with you in a work home balance than loose you

Answer 4

I actually was working 2 jobs to support my twins when I was a single mom 0-2 years then at 3 years got fired from full time job I was devastated thought what will I do ? Started immediately looking for a full time job and worked more hours at my part time job to make up for lost hours Did a budget and realized with daycare fees for twins I only made 400. 00 extra a month . And those 2 weeks I fell in love with staying home with my daughters and I was less stressed and not always missing them. I too felt like I had no time with them I quit looking for a job and started a home preschool for them . my dream and best years of my life Yes it’s tough financially we really had to cut back I will never regret it and feel blessed to do it and have so much joy and fun memories with my daughters This money can’t buy ! I say do it those moments are precious and my daughters are almost twenty now doing well in college and amazing young women It’s worth the financial sacrifice to me

Answer 5

Your baby will only be this young once. If you can handle the pay cut, do it! I love being able to see my LO so often! I’m only just now (15mo) considering upping my work time, and even then, I’m a waitress, so I usually work while she’s sleeping  

Answer 6

I work 40 hrs and feel the same way. I keep dragging myself to work every day because the way i look at it is this, i would rather work to get out of debt now while she wont remember and be debt free and work less when she will remember. I also try to make the most out of the weekends. I highly suggest checking out your community library for free fun. We also go to parks, visit with family, paint, draw, play! Best wishes on your decision, Hugs.  

Answer 7

I’m in the same boat. I love working so it softens the blow but sometimes I pull OT so I don’t get to see him in the morning or at night and that really sucks. keep working and save as much as you can!  

Answer 8

This was literary me in your shoes a year ago. I 100% took the pay cut . You can always find another high paying job . time spent with your baby can’t be replaced ! ❤️❤️

Comments

Literally **

Answer 9

You're not alone. If you can make it work so that you can see your baby, you should. It's important for both of you! ❤️

Answer 10

Change to the part-time. They are only babies for a short time. They don’t remember this time but you do ❤️❤️

Answer 11

Part time. you can't get time with your baby back. I stayed at an awful job while mine was a baby and I regret it every day of my life and resent the job. (I still work there and my son is 9)

Answer 12

I had my baby September 2018 back to work December 2018. I’m gone 12-13 hours a day. I see my baby for the drive to his grandma’s and then for an hour and a half before bedtime. I work 45-50 hours a week 45 minutes away making $39k. He’s 16 months old. I even work some Saturdays. I get all my time with him on weekends. He still loves me. And I miss him more than anything. It was tough in the beginning, but it’s better now. It’ll all be worth it in the end.  

Comments

Once we’re debt free and hubby is done with school and has a higher paying job, I’ll be able to go down to part time. About another 2 years and I will most absolutely sacrifice time now to have more time in the NEAR future

Answer 13

Same here  my son is one already and last year summer I was stuck at work and he had all the fun with dad! I want to quit sooooo bad but I don’t feel right leaving my fiancé with all the debt that’s partially mine! So I’m holding on strong until it’s payed off and then I’ll most likely go down to part time and enjoy my little boy  

Answer 14

I would stick it out for another month if the part time will still be available if not switch now

Answer 15

Spend time with your baby. You won’t get that time back.  

Answer 16

Take the part time when baby gets older n goes off to school, then could go back to full time

Answer 17

Spend more time with your baby

Answer 18

Your baby will only be this age once, money comes and goes, enjoy this time with your family!  

Answer 19

I was going through the same. I left! It's my first baby and i was missing out SO MUCH. Time with my baby is more valuable to me. I've been able to still keep cutting down my debt even with my pay cut. Best of luck to you!  

Answer 20

This is such a personal choice. You will never get these times back with your baby. I choose to be home as much as I can with my son but you have to choose what feels right for your family. The hardest part is there’s no “wrong” answer. You have to live with your decision & we don’t. What do you WANT?  

Answer 21

I go through the same I work 12hr shifts at a hospital and by the time I get home I am only able to spend a short amount of time with my daughter before it’s time for her to go to bed.  

Answer 22

I went back TK work when my son was 4 months. I worked for only 3. 5 months and we realize it was best for me to stay home. I now pick up MAYBE 1 day a week. And it had been so much better. It’s honestly just me going to work to get out and keep that spot. If you can afford to stay home, do it. They won’t be this little for long  

Answer 23

In how many months can you pay off your debt if you stick to your fulltime job ? If you live by your new salary and put in the other half into your debt ?  

Comments

@anguiano it would take a longggggg time to pay off the debt. I’m thinking of other jobs I could do, maybe work at home or something to help supplement.  

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@capacitor23 well if it’s gonna take a long time even if you keep the fulltime job, I would consider working parttime. I thought if it was manageable to work half a year, a year maybe fulltime to pay it off I would continue working fulltime and then after the debt been paid of I would work parttime. You can’t get back the lost time with your kid. But you shouldn’t cut back in hours if it gets you more in trouble. If that makes any sense.  

Answer 24

I know how you feel. I had a baby boy in July and decided not to go back to work. My two oldest children I worked a lot and I didn’t really seem them so I understand how you feel. They are 19 and 16 now and being home and able to enjoy this one is so rewarding. Even though money is tight it’s so worth it! Children grow so fast, I know it’s a personal choice but do what you think is right in your heart ❤️

Answer 25

If you can make it on half the income, I would choose my baby.  

Answer 26

Brutal honesty, 45 to 50 hours for $45k is not the greatest. If it were 40 hours, then its ok. I personally dont think any salary is worth those hours. What kind of work do you do? Take the part time job and then get some work from home jobs too.  

Answer 27

Time flies so quickly. Do what you can to be home more with your baby.  

Answer 28

When I was young I didn’t have the option to not work two jobs (one full time and one part time) and at the time I felt guilty but now fast forward 25 years, I don’t because I was able to teach my children to be hard workers and independent. Yes I missed out but I was able to provide a more stable household. But that is my opinion.  

Answer 29

Oh, mama, I totally understand. Felt that way with my firstborn. I would take the 25 hour job and then do something on the side once or twice a month on your own schedule. I did direct sales, quit my job after 3 months and stayed home 9 years with my babies. I went back to corporate after that and now 13 years later started doing a direct sales side hustle again to work towards retirement. Made $1, 100 last month. You do have options. Good luck!  

Answer 30

You never get this time back! Work less, baby more! It’s what’s best for your baby, too. more time with Mama ♥️

Answer 31

No one can decide for you. Just remember that you can be replaced at any job, except Mother.  

Answer 32

Do what makes you happy. For me, if I had a baby, I would be obsessed with them ❤ and if I Could stay with them- I would. Please do what is best for you and your little bundle of love.  

Answer 33

I’m sorry but baby will grow up either way and you’ll be needing money more than ever. Starts at about age 5 your kid will have their own treadmill to run. It’s just the truth. Don’t quit

Comments

Not having your own life outside of motherhood can be haunting in this day and age. There is about zero respect for traditional roles.  

Answer 34

In all honesty and I mean total honesty I feel like my kids need me more and my time with is more needed during the extremely hard adolescent years. I would do anything in the world to have more time with my 16 year old daughter. My son is in college and I was able to have a bit more home time with him and it ment the world to him.  

Answer 35

You won't ever get the time back with your child. Take the part time job. You won't regret it.  

Comments

Agree, you never do get that time back with your kids and working part time keeps income coming into home and gives you a better balance of work and family.  

Answer 36

See your baby. You’ll never get that time back. The money can be made an other time. Or maybe this’ll make you look at other options for a side hustle along with your PT work that’s more flexible.  

Answer 37

See your baby, it goes quickly. You might look at side jobs watching other kids- that’s what I’m doing to stay home.  

Answer 38

You will never get these years back! I say go for the part time job! Being home more with your child can be a big sacrifice, even though people love to say it's a luxury. We have sacrificed A LOT in order to live off of 1 income but it works and I wouldn't change a thing!  

Answer 39

My suggestion, if you can afford it, take the part time gig until your son is in school then back to full time when you can.  

Answer 40

I can understand how difficult it is to make this decision. When my daughter had her first child, she placed her in daycare for 2 years, 9 hrs a day. To this day, 13 yrs later, she regrets it. She missed it all including the first steps. Take the part time if you can. Cut back on everything possible and see if you can find work from home. Good luck! It can be done!  

Answer 41

They’re only little once and it goes by so fast. You can’t put a price on the time spent with baby. Even if it prolongs the time you repay the debt, you will never regret it. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a side hustle at home.