Question

Hello everyone!  Question, I'm 23, my husband is 24, we are planning on getting pregnant asap, starting a family is VERY important to us.Hello everyone! Question, I'm 23, my husband is 24, we are planning on getting pregnant asap, starting a family is VERY important to us. (please don't give any push back on we should wait on kids, not part of the question or an option) We currently have 41k in debt (car and student loans) We currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment that we have a roommate so we are paying about 900 a month for rent for the next year ish. Once she moves out and gets married we will likely have a little one so we will use that room for the baby. Our rent then will go to full rent at almost $1500 before utilities. That's a lot for us. We have about 14k on our car, the rest we owe in student loans which is about 10k for my husband and 17k for me. We want to buy a house, we live in Phoenix Arizona where it's getting popular to move to (aka prices going up) and we would need to save about 15k for a house. and in just over a year we will be paying an extra $600 a month for rent. Also together before taxes we make about 70k, and my retirement is 12%, so we have a much lower take home, like 45-50k. Is it actually dumb to buy a house before paying off student loans?  

Answer 1

Have you factored in childcare or if you’re going to stay home and the loss of income? I pay $200 a WEEK, and that’s average where I live. Something worth looking into.  

Comments

@extort was thinking the same thing. daycare was $1150 per month for my son as an infant

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@dorladorlisa my little one is two and it won’t go down (to $170) until she’s in the four year old room  

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@extort off ya forgot about that for a second. We found an awesome highly rated in home daycare and with how my husband and is schedules will be we will after some family help for a day or two (maybe more but not planning on it) will need 10 or so hours, so it'll be like 70 a week for us, so like 300 a month.  

Answer 2

So here's the thing about home buying: There is a very high chance that your wages won't keep up with the inflation in the market if you wait. I would say to buy a home, capture your equity as the market continues to grow, and take advantage of the tax write offs of interest and property taxes. Also, look into downpayment assistance programs for your state, and negotiate for the seller to pay your closing costs. Very good chance depending on how much you guys make that you can get into a home with no money out of pocket.  

Answer 3

If you don't end up buying a home, go talk to a real estate agent, because my sister just moved out there in April and got a nice 2 bedroom condo/townhouse rental for not even $1200 a month.  

Answer 4

Your debt to income ratio has to be less than 45% in order to qualify to purchase a home. I want to highly highly recommend NOT purchasing until you have a 3-6 month emergency fund. If your water heater or furnace breaks you could be out thousands of dollars. Also, you need 3% down to purchase a house with an FHA loan. More for conventional. You also will need 3-7% of the purchase for closing costs, $1000ish earnest money, and $500ish for a home inspection (not required but usually recommended). you will want your monthly mortgage (which you also need to factor in escrow, insurance, a potential HOA etc) to be 25-30% of your monthly income. There’s a TON to think about and when we started the process of purchasing, I did not think about all of these things so I hope this helps!  

Comments

@mosqueda This ⬆️ is what most people dont consider when budgetting to buy, especially for first time. Not that its doable just be mindful of all the extras. Purchasing a house isnt always as simple as some make it out to be. Good luck to you and your husband! *If the two of you are ready, anytime is a good time to start a family!  

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@mosqueda yes! ⬆️ plus, once you move into your home there are costs like when the kitchen sink is leaking and you need the tools to fix that, or the furnace hasn’t been serviced in forever and no longer works, or the hot water heater breaks down and needs to be replaced, the electricity bill and trash bill, etc. Those things happened to us in addition to needing to purchase appliances and extra furniture for the home that was bigger than any other place we had rented. It’s so much more than you realize unfortunately. And we bought our home while in debt and while pregnant, so we also had to be purchasing things for baby and preparing for maternity leave. I love our home, but I now believe Dave Ramsey when he says he wants your home to be a blessing and not a curse. My husband got a raise thankfully during this time but that would have been SO much more of a blessing if we didn’t have the extra costs associated with the home. Plus after got the raise, he ended up hurting his back and was out of work for a while, which reallllyyy strained us and drained our savings much quicker than if we had been back where we rented. I don’t want to discourage you from buying a home! I completely understand why you want to, but we were not as prepared as we should have been and it’s been hard. But I would not put off having babies ❤️ that’s worth everything and you know that you’re set deep in your heart about your family, and I wouldn’t put off family for anything!  

Answer 5

Talk to a financial advisor. In my opinion get those student loans paid off. Then save for a down payment. You don’t want major debt when going into a mortgage. What if you buy a house and your air conditioner breaks, are you gonna be able to pay to fix it or buy a new one if needed? Probably not. So if you have little debt and savings going into owning a home you will be better off in my opinion.  

Answer 6

Try living on one income and saving or paying down your own debts with the other. This will help you get to your goal faster and realize if it is feasible to have a child now or wait, purchase a house or wait, or whatever. There is less risk and only benefits from being prepared and educated. As someone who wanted kids at 25 and was unable to get pregnant until 33, I will say being financially stable has helped me be the mom I have always wanted to be instead of sacrificing due to financial reasons.  

Answer 7

While you don't have a child, i would suggest you BOTH get a part time job to earn even more money and pay that stuff off even faster. Once kiddo come, it will be a a lot harder to work more hours.  

Comments

@disincentive6384 that’s a good idea too! Start saving and paying off as much as you can while you don’t have a baby!  

Answer 8

Think tiny home. To be investing your money into something that will be yours.  

Answer 9

Babies ALSO cost a lot of money, including the hospital stay and on. So if you can take a few years to pay all of this down, you will be a MUCH HAPPIER family.  

Answer 10

Would you have to start budgeting for daycare? That can cost as much as a mortgage  

Answer 11

I would side hustle it up and pay off some debt. With your DTI you may not qualify for a mortgage currently. Also an emergency fund is a good thing to have. May also want to review your insurance to anticipate medical bills associated with having a child. I paid about 6k out of pocket for my pregnancy/delivery after insurance.  

Comments

@dyslalia yes 2800-5000 is the plan since talking to birthing centers and getting estimates :)

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@assiniboine63 if you have the option to get Blue Cross Federal insurance, all things birth related ended up being about $500 out of pocket.  

Answer 12

Buy the house! Rates are awesome and lower than student loans. There is never a “good” time for a baby financially, babies were always right on time  I know it’s a lot to soak in, but we were in the same place as you, except much older, and we did it. Smartest thing ever. Once that house had enough equity in it we were able to sell for a huge profit and pay off everything. Kiddo is now three and we just built our dream home. It can be done.  

Comments

And my student loans were never a factor when buying. It was credit cards for debt to credit ratio.  

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@oeildeboeuf that's good to know!  

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@assiniboine63 I learned a lot with a mortgage broker the first time around. I really felt lost. I was nervous about using one, but find one that makes their money from someone else, not one you have to pay. They make money in many ways, so they can be very helpful!  

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@lost31777 I didn’t “get them to not matter”. They just didn’t take them into consideration. When I looked at the strikes against me, they were only credit card utilization. Perhaps it’s different by lender? The first time we used a mortgage broker and the second we went through a builder. Neither time was it an issue and my credit was reported as excellent, only being the credit cards that kept me down a few points.  

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I see what you’re saying, and I’m sorry that happened to you, but I really do think it might vary by lender.  

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Well that’s great. Everything happens for a reason! Honestly I was surprised because I was so sure my student loans would be the factor that held me back. Being a teacher with high credit card balance and student loans. still was approved based on having a high credit score. The only strike or “concern” they listed was the high credit card debt. I had over $40k in student loans at the time. I wish I had the power to say “don’t look at that part” I didn’t get them to not matter  it was all up to the lenders. We went through a credit union, got approved and then ultimately used a mortgage broker to get the best rates and options. We were able to score 3. 75% fixed for 30 years the first time and 3. 20% fixed for 30 years this time.  

Answer 13

We are pregnant with baby #3 & #4! Lol both my husband and I are 25! Yes it’s been a struggle some days but honestly it really does work itself out with having kids! I worked opposite shifts of my husband to avoid daycare costs and we got a roommate (4 bedroom house where the kids will share rooms. Roommate is a family member too so not too bad) to keep the cost of our mortgage down! Just make sure you have good health insurance and enough saved for your deductible! Thankfully my husbands work gives us the whole deductible in an HRA account but before that, I just made payments on the hospital bill from my son. It’s rough some days but my kids are absolutely worth it  

Answer 14

I’d talk to a mortgage broker about what you’d qualify for and what not just so you can get an idea for the upcoming year!  

Answer 15

I would only put off having a baby for a year or two. Just get a better hold of the finances and try to buy a house in your budget first. It SUCKS being stressed about money and buying your first home while having a baby. Just get into a better spot first so you can enjoy pregnancy and being parents. Look into first time home buyer programs. They usually pay the down payment for you and sometimes will even pay for approved repairs to the house you choose (roof, water heater, ac, etc. )

Answer 16

My husband and I had our first daughter at 24. I wish we paid off our debt before kids we are now 29 and still working on paying off our debt and rent still. Having kids is expensive after our 2nd baby I'm a stay at home mom because I would basically make nothing after daycare. Also alot more unexpected expenses comes up with kids and homes

Answer 17

Can you afford a mortgage + car debt + college loans + a baby? That’s the answer to your question. You need to figure out the cost of a mortgage + insurance + down payment in order to figure out a budget. You say that $1500 plus utilities is a lot. Factor in the cost of a baby to that and decide if it’s wise to wait a year or 2 or not. While you say it’s not negotiable, if you can’t afford everything, something has to give and since you don’t have a child, that would be the logical thing to “give” until you’re more financially secure.  

Comments

Seriously take it from us that already have kiddos. If you are more financially secure, life with a child will be SO MUCH BETTER than if you just jump into it. Give yourself a good jump start before you bring a child into this world.  

Answer 18

We lived on 39, 000 a year with two kids. It can be done! I’m a stay at home mom We make more now but that was the start I was also 23 he 24 with our first. It was hard but if you’re willing to give up some fun it can be done

Comments

Also, babies cost vv little in the beginning. If you can breast feed it’ll save you hundreds! Also get hand me down clothes /toys etc. it doesn’t have to be new to work!  

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@veats exactly! That's the plan. God always provides if you care for what he's given you. Hand me downs/used clothes and toys, cloth diapers. Where do you live living on 39k? I feel like we couldn't even live on that now  do you have a house or rent?  

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@assiniboine63 Washington! One of the most expensive places it’s hard! He just got a much better job. We have/had zero debt which probably helped but you just make cuts where you need too and yes God does! We have no idea how we did it looking back. But we did!  

Answer 19

We live in Houston 2 adults, 2 kids 3 animals one bedroom apartment  I had a child at 24 and I don't regret it but as someone said, take your time and if you're financially stable you will be able to give your children and yourself the time that need and do what they want. My kids are 4 and 5 now, we just started TMB and there a lot I'm sacrifing with them and for them. We're only 30k in debt but some days it feels like we're drowning since my together my husband and I make less than 55k a year.  But we are making it through! We want more kids and we want a house but in order to have one or both out financial stability seems to be the most important now otherwise we will dig ourselves into a bigger hole. ♥️ Hope this helps.  

Comments

My husband technically makes 55k but after his 401k and FSA and insurance his take home is 43k i was able to bring in 10k this year from working part time jobs, I'm technically a stay at home mom.  

Answer 20

Oh I just thought about something else. Will you have to put your baby in childcare? Daycare for an infant where I live is $900+ a month for part time (nearly as much as our mortgage! ). How much will your insurance premiums go up? What will you be paying for copays, the hospital stay, diapers etc? Something to consider for the budget.  

Answer 21

I would consider daycare costs and how much your income will change AFTER baby comes as well. I think your goal should be less paying down debt and more about making more money and saving. Make your car payments and student loan payments on time.  

Answer 22

My hubby is 23 and I’m 25. We trying to get rid of his student loans (I’m debt free college student) and then save up for a house and after have a baby. I feel it doesn’t worth bring a baby to this world if you have a lot of debt and have no house where you can raise them up. My opinion

Answer 23

Just wanted to say that I was 19 and my husband was 21 when we got married. I was a mom at 21 and I have no regrets. We wanted to be young enough to enjoy our grandchildren and travel kid-free when we retire. Nothing wrong with having a family young at all but we did get a lot of “you’re too young” comments too. That rent is insane for an apartment- I’d get a house so it’s worth it or move to a cheaper apartment if you need more time to save. My husband and I rushed to buy a house before we started a family and while we can afford the house- we both wish we would have saved more first and gotten a different house and paid off some a little more debt first.  

Comments

@starlin yes! That’s what I was going to say. Rent is insane and no return! So if you can get a mortgage, even a cheap one, you’re at least putting your money somewhere besides a landlord’s pocket. I had my kiddo late. While I wish I had them young, I wasn’t married or didn’t have a partner at that time. The time is right when you’re ready. I hate to say and go against anyone’s advice, but if you wait for the”right time” financially there may never be one.  You weren’t too young. Sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders.  

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@starlin insane rent is relative. They live in Phoenix. it’s a growing area and rent and housing prices aren’t going down. Plus utilities for a house will be more than an apartment .  

Answer 24

Sit down and do some math. Are you going to have a baby shower? How generous is your family? My in laws bought my daughters whole bedroom set, conversion kits included to change the crib to a full when needed. I had a diaper raffled and had enough diapers that lasted me 9 months. I didn’t breastfeed however you shouldn’t count on it since a lot of woman can’t produce enough milk. Factor in avg cost of Formula per month to your list of bills. can you get government assistance? If you’re not financially struggling then fine, have a baby. However it’s super selfish to have one if you can’t provide for it. Accidents happen and people make do. But if you’re literally planning and purposely getting pregnant knowing you can’t live comfortably, that’s just not a good option.  

Comments

And unpopular opinion here, but I don’t think kids are that expensive. I have a 19 month old and all the big purchases I’ve made for her we’re silly unneeded toys. If you live off the basics, they’re really not a whole lot of money . EDIT: childcare is free for me because my mother in law watches her every day. Please take into consideration the amount of money you will have to pay someone while you go back to work

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@shadowgraph46 daycare in major cities isn’t cheap. Therefore, kids aren’t always cheap. Formula if she’s unable to breastfeed. Etc. it all adds up even if you have a perfect plan in place.  

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@shadowgraph46 daycare where I live can cost $1000+ a month. The same as a mortgage.  

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@shadowgraph46 even just to deliver a baby is expensive. I have insurance, work in the hospital that I’m going to deliver in (I’m an RN) so I’m getting a discount and it’s still 2k just for delivery.  

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Day care isn’t cheap. I’m lucky and my MIL watches her m-Friday

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@scheelite I work in the hospital that I delivered in and everything was covered by my insurance. I was induced and there for 4 days before they decided on a csection and I was there for 4 more days. It was awful. 8 days total my bill was $45, 000+. I’m lucky my employer has great insurance

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@shadowgraph46 I think my hospital stay will mostly be covered (we’ll see ) but this is just my OBs delivery fee!  my insurance covers 75%.  

Answer 25

You should figure out your budget before buying a house. You dont want to be house poor. Right now I would lower your retirement to 3% or whatever your match is (Just temporarily). Then I would start asking around daycares for their newborn rates. Unless you've already made plans with family, you'll be spending a lot on daycare or losing an income if you choose to stay home. You'll also need to budget about 100 a month for diapers and maybe 100 a month for formula. (Just a mock, this can go up or down depending on your plans. ) After all that, then see what you can reasonably spend on a mortgage (dont forget to estimate taxes and PMI if needed). And once you get that, find a house that's $200 less a month.  

Answer 26

In the end you are going to do what you want to do BUT I strongly advise you to not only have that 15k as a down payment but also have a 6 month emergency fund. Babies are expensive! You have to think about diapers, wipes, formula (if you aren’t breastfeeding- if you do plan on breastfeeding you will have to pump and pumping while working full time is not ideal for a lot of women) doctor visits, medication when they are sick (and trust me if they are in daycare in home or at a facility they WILL get sick) and when they are sick one of you will have to stay home which means more time off than you expect. Clothes, stroller, car seat, crib all of these things cost a lot of money. We had kids young and I wouldn’t change it at all but I would strongly urge to have a lot of money saved before. Don’t be the people that say “we will figure it out” because chances are you won’t and you will be stressed out and wishing u saved more.  If you are for sure having a baby, While you have free time (no baby) both of you should get second jobs and work you asses off to save as much as possible before having a baby because it will be a lot harder once you do have one.  

Comments

@piggott1 I could not agree more. I live in Germany, meaning we have free health care for children, paid maternity leave and children allowance from the government. and even with all of that, our budget increased 15% with the first baby.  

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@piggott1 and not to forget a mom might plan to breastfeed but our bodies and babies sometimes have a different idea. A friend of mine planned to exclusively breast feed and her milk never came in. Sooo formula it is. If you don’t plan for things like that, the budget can get derailed quickly.  

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@siskind Yes spot on. I was going to include that as well but my post was getting long  

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@piggott1 kids aren’t expensive so long as they go along with the plan for them.  

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@siskind hahahahaha Right. Not expensive if you schedule $10, 000 a year or more. ;)

Answer 27

Check out the Budget Mom. I would work on budgeting first, before the house. Babies are always a blessing.  Good luck!  

Answer 28

Is it dumb to buy a house before paying off student loans? I don't think so. As a renter, you're not building equity. your rent is just GONE. Hubby and I bought a 2nd house as a rental about 4 years ago for just over $100, 000. it's already increased in value and worth about $285, 000. Home prices are not going to go DOWN, so it might be the wise time to buy a home. You may not get your absolutely perfect dream home right now, but you'll be building equity and can "move up" once your student loans are paid off! (And, believe it or not, they WILL eventually get paid off! ) Just don't get influenced by an excited realtor or pushy friends/family who say you can afford something you aren't comfortable with. As for the baby. looking at how adorable you two are, I think the world would be enhanced by the beautiful baby/babies you'll end up making!  

Answer 29

I know you said not to say it but you should wait and be just a little more stable before a baby. Daycare will kill you as you aren't in the bracket to be able to afford it yet. My daughter wanted one sooner too but chose to wait just a bit longer to finish her second degree. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions sweetie. You're only 23. A few years won't hurt.  

Answer 30

Add the cost of daycare, increase in insurance plus copays, diapers on top of your expenses and you’ll see what it’s like

Answer 31

It's not dumb in my opinion to buy a house before paying off student loans. You would be paying rent/ living expenses anyway, might as well make those payments to yourself! You can also decuct the interest you pay. Side note about the baby, ♥️ if I had waited to be financially secure or for the "right time" to have a baby I would have none, and where would my 4 beautiful blessings be? ☺️ Can't picture life without them now and I would not decided to become debt free or financially confident / competent without them

Answer 32

A. You guys are adorable and I hope you have tons of little babies if that's what your heart desires. B. There are going to be living expenses no matter what, and I don't see any problem with buying a house before your student loans are paid off. That's assuming you have done the research ahead of time to make sure you can afford the monthly payment, which it sounds like you've done. C. Keep up the good work and if I could give one bit of advice for budgeting pre-baby. Adjust yourselves to a baby-friendly budget now if possible. Create sinking funds or envelopes or something that would simulate spending money on diapers, wipes, formula, etc. so you can get acclimated to the new budget ahead of time. Same for the house. Do your budget on paper with the mortgage payment factored in as well as utilities, etc. (Of course these would all be estimates at this point. ) This helps eliminate a bit of that scary "unknown" when it comes to huge changes like adding mortgages and babies to the picture. So excited for you guys! Sounds like it's going to be a BIG year or so. Best wishes!  

Answer 33

Do your budget first and then decide about when to buy a house. I don’t think it’s dumb to buy before as long as you can afford it.  

Answer 34

In my experience you're never going to be "ready" so I say go for it. After i had my first I decided to not go back to work and somehow we've made it happen. You definitely have to make sacrifices either way.  

Answer 35

The money will always be there for a little one and no need to plan! It’s amazing what we can do

Answer 36

You're not just buying a house. We bought in 2015, and didnt think ahead about things like appliances (fridge, washer/dryer), we had to buy blinds for ALL THE WINDOWS, and we had to pay the yearly HOA fees. it was thousands more than we planned for ahead of time. Unfortunately all of it went onto credit cards. I'd save a hefty chunk of money for 'other' expenses than just the house.  

Comments

Oh, AND I was pregnant when we bought our house. We had just signed the paperwork and we found out days later we were expecting!  

Answer 37

My husband and I are 27, our daughter is 2, and we’re expecting baby 2 in May. We rent an apartment and when our lease was up last Fall, we considered buying a house. We have just over $100k in student loans still to pay off. However, factoring in all the added costs that come with babies, we realized it wasn’t realistic to buy a house. When you own, you’re responsible for everything, maintenance and all. But when you rent, it’s up to someone else to pay for those expenses. In the end, we decided we won’t buy a house until we’re debt free because we are not financially stable to handle all the things that come with a house plus 2 kids. I won’t tell you to wait on having kids, but I will say to wait on buying a house. It seems like you’re already going to struggle when paying the full rent, then add all the expenses of babies. Just wait, get out of debt, build a 3-6 month emergency fund, save for a down payment, and then buy a house.  

Answer 38

Had my first baby at 25. I’m actually really glad I had her at that age. Being a younger parent has worked great for me. I did buy my first home with debt (credit cards and student loans) I think if I would have waiting until those debts were paid off it would have been more of a struggle financially Because my mortgage is cheaper than rent.  

Answer 39

I dont think its dumb to buy a house. Its an investment; and rather than throwing your money to rent that you NEVER see a rate of return on you're investing in yourself in a sense. I too live in Phoenix and was in your shoes 5, almost 6 years ago. My husband and I bought our house and yes, we were "house poor" for the first year, but it was TOTALLY worth it. our home has since DOUBLED what we paid for it and its only projected to continue to go up. If you EVER have any questions about the region/buying/want to be TBM buddies, please feel free to reach out, I'd be happy to answer any questions/be friends :)

Comments

@weaponeer rent in Phoenix is becoming obnoxious! Every year I shake my head even more ‍♀️

Answer 40

I had my first baby at 27 we were renting and then when my daughter turned 9 months old - we bought a house and have never looked back as she is settled her school is at the end of the road and all her friends are there - there’s a rental crisis here too expensive and not much to choose from - I wanted stability by owning my own home - sit down do the maths and see what you can realistically afford - also not to put a dampener on things but do you have free childcare- if not take into consideration that this could cost up €1000 a month in addition to everything else that you have to buy .  

Answer 41

You will be such great parents.  

Answer 42

I don't think it's dumb. I'd think more about if you buy a house, will that be cheaper than rent once you factor in all the other expenses that come with buying a home. I wish we had waited on buying a home. In our area, an apartment would be about $600 less than what we are paying now for our house and that extra money could be going to debt.  

Answer 43

Just wanted to chime in here and say babies do NOT have to be expensive. Aside from childcare, diapers and clothes and food and all that can be SUPER affordable. People give away baby stuff for free or super cheap EVERYWHERE! I set aside $1, 000 for our first baby and was able to stay within that for crib/baby furniture, stroller, car seat, clothes PLUS a year of diapers (I couponed a ton). We were also anti-shower so we didn't really get anything as gifts other than a few outfits here or there.  

Comments

@bummalo when child care Is another mortgage payment in a lot of places, I wouldn’t consider that “cheap”. I’d say that the “stuff” they need is the least expensive part of raising a child.