Question

What is the going rate for Bridal Shower & a Wedding gift for a family member? We are a family of four & the reception is in Oak Brook at a mid/high end hotel.  

Answer 1

A mid/high end hotel in oakbrook for a wedding is running them around $125-175 a plate. I’d say $400-500 for the wedding gift and about $100 for the shower

Comments

That’s ridiculous. Not the guests fault they picked an expensive venue.  

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@joshia she also mentioned it’s a family member, so you should do at least $75-100 a person. That’s wedding etiquette!  

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@joshia a lot of other people said the same amount as I did!  

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@cantoris8056 you’ve got to be kidding. If you have so much spare money, DONATE

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@guessrope it’s not spare money. wedding etiquette is $75-100 a person minimum. It also depends on how close you are to the people. She asked for the going rate and I answered. Many people have said the same as me.  

Answer 2

My nephew is getting married at the end of the year. I’m thinking at least $100 from each of us so $400 gift from the 4 of us. We will have to travel to Florida for the weekend too so it will be an expensive event.  

Comments

Bridal shower gift will probably be $100 too.  

Answer 3

Wedding gift 100 per person. Bridal shower $50 from both.  

Answer 4

We had a similar Wedding last year and between 2 adults and one child gave $250 for the wedding gift and I spent $150 on the bridal shower gift

Answer 5

$100 per adult person $50-$100 per child depending on their age. If they eat the same meal, $100 per child. If they have a kids meal, $50 per kid. Shower gift- that’s a personal opinion. Close family/ friend $100. Not so close, $50.  

Answer 6

I say give what you want factoring in your relationship and budget. I think the notion of making sure you give enough to “cover the cost per plate” is ridiculous. They invited you because they wanted you to celebrate with them, not as someone to help pay for the cost of the wedding. Have fun and enjoy the festivities!  

Comments

@varlet Torson this!  I say you give what you can afford. They invited you to share their special day, not so that you could cover the cost of your plate.  

Answer 7

Take the location out of the equation. How close you are & how much you can afford should be the focus. Not how much they or loved ones wanted to spend on venue. This goes for weddings, too.  

Comments

@joshia Exactly!  

Answer 8

We always do $100 per person for the wedding itself, slightly more if we are really close. Usually about 100-200 for the wedding shower gift as well :)

Answer 9

Wedding gift is “cover your plate and some”. You also could say no and not rsvp if money is tight.  

Comments

@mauro169 Don’t you think they would like you to attend even if money is tight. If not then they are not close enough friends and family to care

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@guessrope I agree with you 100%. I didn't care what people got me as long as they were there to celebrate the day with us.  

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@guessrope I don’t know. I’m just saying you could say no and not rsvp if money is tight. Some people might go because they want to, because they feel obligated, etc but it’s ok to say no too if that thought hadn’t been brought to her attention

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@mauro169 that’s not true. Give what you can afford. It’s not the guests’ responsibility to cover the cost.  

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@joshia that’s perfectly fine too. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised to cover your plate and some. I’m not putting anyone else down

Answer 10

I usually get something small for the wedding shower and the bachelorette party because it all adds up. I usually spend $30-50 for baby or wedding showers. That usually covers the plate at a shower

Comments

@mauro169 sounds better than most

Answer 11

@mauro169 I don’t think there should be a set amount. They invited you to be with them on this blessed occasion. They don’t assume everyone can afford the numbers I’ve seen above. The thought of not going if you can’t afford the amount of the gift expected. The wedding is a ceremony to be shared with friends and family. Believe me they’re not adding up the cost of each present and if they are they don’t really care who comes but what they bring (wrong)

Comments

@guessrope that’s fine that works for you. I was raised to cover your plate and that a wedding gift is to generate/ set up a new couple with a nest egg/ savings/ what have you. Again, that’s how I was raised which may be very different than others

Answer 12

If it’s a relative $200/wedding and $100 shower

Answer 13

You give what you can afford. Truly.  

Answer 14

Yeah. Give what you can. Best gifts are Etsy. like a door welcome sign with their name or a cutting board with their name.  

Answer 15

I wish you all were guests at my wedding  

Comments

@odom right? When all my friends got married we were all young and poor.  

Answer 16

Thank you ladies for all your insightful suggestions. I truly appreciate it!  

Comments

@fact8 I hope you have a lot of money for all these suggestions

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@guessrope I ended up donating to their Honeymoon fund  

Answer 17

If they have a registry, please shop off of that. There should be a variety of price points available within the registry.  

Comments

@adjourn this!  

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@adjourn Done ✅

Answer 18

I would say at least $50 a person for the wedding gift and for the bridal shower I don’t think that matters as much.  

Comments

@mok3440 sounds right!