+21 votes
by (1k points)
Hi everyone, I'm due with baby #2 in a few weeks, and I would like my husband with me during labor/delivery. We have a 2-year-old at home, and we've been quarantining since the stay-at-home order started. During labor/delivery, who should watch our 2-year-old? My parents live in the area, but they are older and we haven't seen them in person since early March. I think we will ask them to watch our child, but I was wondering if anyone else had other ideas? Also, my in-laws and sister-in-law live out of state and want to visit for the birth and delivery so they can meet their new grandson/nephew -- even if they have to meet him at a distance. If they visit, where would they stay? Our house is small with no spare bedrooms or private spaces. They have an RV, but campgrounds are closed, and I don't know if their RV would be permitted on our street overnight (and our 2-year-old would go nuts knowing his grandparents/aunt are outside without being able to hug them). Are hotels open/safe? In-laws are also over 60 and live in a southern state that has already re-opened, so I'm not sure what would be the safest option for them and us. Thank you!  
Hi everyone, I'm due with baby #2 in a few weeks, and I would like my husband with me during labor/d

21 Answers

+14 votes
by (1.9k points)
 
Best answer
I feel that u should request your in-laws and aunt to postpone their visit for the time being, the hassle and stress of having them around right and making arrangements for their stay and ensuring their safety would be a lot for you to deal with especially postpartum, u would be very busy with the new born and your own recovery . Your parents watching your two year old would be a great option because your son will be comfortable with them and as you have all been in quarantine it reduces the risk factor for your parents and your son .  
+13 votes
by (2.3k points)
If you have been quarantining yourself (and if you haven’t, start now) there should be zero issue with having your parents watch your son.  
+17 votes
by (1k points)
It’s really tough to decide on logistics! I have an almost-two year old and am due tomorrow. We finally made the decision to have my in-laws come from TX to stay with us. I expect to have a quick labor and feel relieved to have someone here with my son so I can leave quickly for the hospital. It’s really hard not having my own parents here but the tested positive for covid a month ago and we want to give them more time before meeting the baby. Let me know if you want to chat more. I know it’s a tough situation!  
0 votes
by (2.9k points)
If your parents have been quarantining, I’d say let them watch your 2 year old. If they live close, I imagine your toddler is comfortable with them. We’re having our second next week and we’ve been having some issues with my parents not taking our quarantine rules 100% seriously, but my in-laws are worse and we don’t want our 19 month old freaking out with someone she isn’t comfortable with, so it has to be my parents. Just a note too, depending on your hospital (but I believe virtually all of them share the same rules right now), there are no visitors for labor and delivery so make sure you let your in-laws know that. I’d also be careful if they haven’t been social distancing. your newborn is extremely fragile and it would be a shame to expose him/her if avoidable.  
+9 votes
by (6.3k points)
I think as long as you’re quarantining it will be fine having your parents babysit. They are asking pregnant women to start quarantining at 38 weeks now anyway.  
+9 votes
by (1.8k points)
My daughter just delivered last week. I had been quarantining since I knew I'd be watching the almost 2yr old. Other visitors just have to wait
0 votes
by (2.4k points)
Not all campgrounds are closed. We have a friend staying at one in Shorewood I belive.  
+1 vote
by (220 points)
We were quarantined for weeks before I delivered, as well as my parents so they would be able to watch our almost 2 year old while we were at the hospital. We've seen everyone else via video chats.  
+2 votes
by (260 points)
I would tell your in laws to wait a month or so, especially with them coming from out of state. I’m due June 9th, my mom will be quarantining for two+ weeks before my due date so she can watch my older girls while I deliver. Then else nobody will be meeting baby until we are home for 2+ weeks. It seems like overkill but i’d rather be safe than sorry.  
+18 votes
by (2.4k points)
They can stay at Harrison House Bed & Breakfast! They are open and from what I understand are doing all they can to make their b&b covid safe
+2 votes
by (360 points)
I’m due in a couple of weeks too and my mom is just going to make sure to stay home for two weeks before I’m due so she can watch my kids. As far as having in-laws visit, since you will have been out of quarantine and in a hospital I’d atleast wait a few weeks before seeing them.  
+1 vote
by (1.2k points)
I'm due next month and after much discussion we agreed also that my in-laws will watch our 16 month old, provided they continue to self-quarantine as they have been until delivery. We won't be having any other visitors for a while after that, depending on what happens here with cases. I imagine we'll wait at least a month, maybe two before even visitors that live close by besides my in-laws, just to be safe. But I think ultimately that's a decision you'll have to make based on your own risk level. I've asked my ob that very question, and that's basically the answer she had.  
+9 votes
by (3.8k points)
Don't fear saying no to family visiting. It's not your responsibility to host especially in this time. They can and should wait until it's completely safe. A newborn's immune system is not worth the risk. I'm not due until end of June but I'm having my cousin watch my daughter while we are at the hospital. My mom has offered but she pretty much refuses to quarantine and has visitors all the time. So unfortunately I'm just telling her no.  
0 votes
by (3.2k points)
I'd definitely have parents watch if they've been following the rules 100%. As for in-laws, depends how much time they have. If they could air bnb a house for a few weeks then they could get here. Quarantine there for 2 weeks to be safe then stay with you after? Honestly, even not in a global pandemic I was extremely cautious on when people could meet my newborn. With everything going on who knows.  
+7 votes
by (3.5k points)
I’m expecting baby #3 in a few weeks myself. We have spoken to my mother and in-laws and they are all beginning to completely self quarantine starting this week so they can watch our children and meet the baby. I would NOT be comfortable with them coming in contact with us otherwise.  
+7 votes
by (2.1k points)
Agree with self quarantined- parents should be fine to stay with older child. I would also postpone out of town visitors for a little while- then some of the previous suggestions (including campground availablilty) would be great! My business "Once Upon A Lullaby" offers classes for childbirth, breastfeeding etc. Just made this video to empower all of you delivering during this time! If you haven't seen it yet. I encourage you to watch! Blessings to all of you new mamas! .  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPG...qHVjw
+20 votes
by (3.2k points)
It seems your parents are best option for watching your 2 year old since your in laws are not familiar with area and the state they live in has reopened. If they plan on meeting you all from a safe distance it should be okay BUT the best option would be to do let them see you all through a video chat whether on your phone or another app (Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype or other similar free apps). When you all come home you want to sanitize before picking upor having your parents bring your 2 year old home. I would call some local hotels nearby and see their availability and precautions they are taking. Congratulations and praying for all of you. You should only have to focus on your immediate family and newest blessing that will be here soon  
+2 votes
by (3.1k points)
I’m due in August. We’ve been having similar discussions. Following
+12 votes
by (6.4k points)
I'm due in July, and just had this conversation with my doctor and family. My doctor recommends that my parents quarantine 3 weeks before my due date and that my husband ask his HR department to exclusively work from home so we can quarantine 3 weeks before my due date. That way we can be confident that we are keeping my folks safe and that my folks are keeping us safe when they come to watch our two-year-old and to meet the new baby. My in-laws live in Florida. Originally, they were planning to come a week or so after the baby was born. Now, there's no way they would risk either her or themselves, and they hope to be able to visit us sometime in the fall (though my MIL said she would be thrilled if that's the case because she's worried it may need to be longer than that). I remember feeling really bad with my first for asking my in-laws to wait a week, but I'm so glad we did because we really needed that time to recover, adjust, and settle. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking your out of town relatives to wait longer in these extremely strange times. If for some reason they insist, I think you would be within your rights to insist that they be completely responsible for figuring out where they're going to stay and that they understand they will only be saying hi through a window or from a great distance, at this time. I know how much it stinks to be having to think and plan and process all of this while also trying to celebrate the joy of welcoming your little one. Sending you lots of strength and positive energy!  
+4 votes
by (1k points)
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! We have lots to think about, and I appreciate the input. :)
+8 votes
by (12.7k points)
I might be crazy but have someone begin full quarantine now and then have them stay with the two year old at home when you go into labor. Have one (or two) people who you know is not a risk and invite them into your circle. Probably best that they stay at home with the two year old and then bring baby home to everyone. That means nobody visits the hospital but hubby. When you come home hopefully rest assure that hubby, parents (or in-laws) are good and have them stay in the RV in the driveway. Or call the police department and tell them your situation that you are having a baby, you have a two year old. Honestly though just get an air mattress for them and have them sleep in that in the living room or spare room (baby’s room). Is that weird?  
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