I see people living in fear. I understand concern over COVID-19 but some people are acting out of their mind with worry. Before the Coronavirus stuff hit really hard, I was kind of worried about it. I kinda thought to myself, "It's gonna suck if my streak ends because I get sick. " My streak ended but not because of the Coronavirus. My streak ended because I got worn down by life. I got worn down by the panic attacks from my anxiety disorder. I got worn down by feeling alone. I got worn down by the suffering. So, I broke. I quit. It cost me everything I had worked for. I undid 3 months of hard work in 3 weeks. So, now I have to start over. I started over two or three times in the last few weeks. It lasted for a few days. Why will this time be any different ? It may not be but if it is, it will be because I am doing it because of my love for my sister. There have been times I have eaten bad after thinking, "I am sick of the suffering. In the end, I am just going to be dead and be in heaven or there is going to be nothing. So, what does it matter if I eat bad ? " Well, it matters to my sister. My health matters to her. Simply put, she loves me. My sister loves me and I love her. @goblet96 Sandler sings a comedy song but one line goes, "She gives you a purpose and she gives you a goal. " So, my sister will give me purpose. I will also do it for myself but I will mainly do it for her. The next time I see her, I want to be able to say, "I did this for you. " Like Ken Block of Sister Hazel sings in All For You, all of my roads lead back to my sister. I am ready to begin walking the road to her. Hope is like lost car keys, easy to lose but you can find it if you look hard enough-Superman It'll all be alright-Kacey Musgraves Everything's gonna be alright-Shawn Mullins
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