I might not go straight from "unsupportive wife" to "mental illness and taking away access to money. " We don't automatically do that with the unsupportive husband situations we deal with in this group; we suggest a *lot of interim measures long before taking away an adult's access to money. My two cents' worth, if you ever want her as a financial ally, do NOT cut her out and infantilize her. She is already economically vulnerable and you can be sure she knows it; don't add to that by totally economically disempowering her. She's an adult. Fortunately there's a lot of real estate in between those two options. A lot of suggestions in this group for unsupportive husbands would also be helpful for an unsupportive wife. She is the one in the economically vulnerable position, and that is *not a nice feeling, especially if you're coping with anything else on top of that. Suggestions I've seen here in group that can help: --Sitting down with the numbers and talking them over with her (not *at her) so she sees the picture for herself; --Enlisting her as a partner (rather than sidelining her and not treating her as an equal, because being disempowered can exacerbate depression, if she's depressed), because you BOTH earn that money--with 3 kids, she works too; --Mutually agreeing on a monthly allowance so she doesn't feel trapped; --Putting together a draft budget and asking for her suggestions on how to strengthen it; --Putting the budget aside temporarily and talking about your goals as a couple, short-term, mid-term, long-term; --Having her make a list of ideas of where she sees you all in a year, two years, five years, ten years, which you two can discuss. And there are so many more ideas in group. Use the Search function and you'll have no end of ideas. It's very hard when your spouse isn't supportive and doesn't seem to be on the same page. Wishing you the best of luck!