Question

So we made A LOT of changes kicking off 2020 one including finally selling our house that has been keeping us house broke for the last 3 years Since January we have been able to pay off $34, 300 worth of debt eliminating 2 credit cards, house debt and penalties (this month alone putting almost $5000 towards our line of credit Point I wanted to make: My husband was NOT ON BOARD! I’ve been following Miko now since this time last year and finally dove into her stuff in August of last year by myself because I was sick of him saying he was going to try it with me and then doing whatever he wanted Then after selling the house and really looking at our financial status he told me he would work on it with me (thank goodness because 2 weeks later we found out we were pregnant lol)! Today I sent him a message saying March is pack your lunch month (I work from home so I don’t have to worry but a HUGE mindless spending habit of his is going out for lunch 2-3 times a week and coffee with the work guys everyday) I also have ALWAYS refused to make his lunch - he is a big boy lol But I really wanted to have fun with this challenge so I told him if he committed with me I’d make his lunches for the whole month of March But GUYS then I joking was like “we should make this a no spend month too” we don’t have any commitments this month other than a fishing derby so really there is no excuses . thinking he’d be like yeaaaa no he likes his misc. budget just like I like mine but his response “ let’s f*cking DO IT”! Where is my husband?! Who has taken him?!  it’s been work trying to get him to see the bigger picture but the momentum is building and he’s actually getting really excited to eliminate our debt this year (we have $40, 000 left minus his truck and a boat - trying to get him to seek the boat  we shall see) but for the first time ever I can see the finish line even as we save away for babies arrival in September I guess what I’m saying is for anyone who feels like they are doing this solo right now just keep tour passion for the end game HIGH and keep going! Your other half will eventually soak up your energy and motivation will spike I promise . mine is as stubborn as they COME if he can I promise anyone can

Answer 1

I might even show your post to my husband! He is half here half there. Says he will follow, but I don’t want him to follow but to walk besides me! Thanks for the encouragement post!  

Comments

@orsa65629 yes show away! I literally used those words with my hubby the one night we were going back on forth on staying committed  totally know the feeling

Answer 2

I struggle with the same thing, partner not wanting to jump on board. There is hope!  

Comments

@setback girrrrl there is hope  just keep doing you my theory was if I paid off all my debt and had disposable income that I used on stuff I wanted without having to make payments it would finally click for him . it’s wild to think we were paying over $2500 a month just in MIN payments  

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@thurman803 it really is crazy isn't it. My partner makes way more than me, and obviously he has more payments with child support etc. however, it is crazy the amount of money just goes down the drain on wasted shit, literally. I love TBM, once I sat down and realized what I made and what was left and how much I was over paying on things I couldn't believe it. I am now trying to teach the kids things now too, how you do not need something every store you go into, or how just because you have money, doesn't mean you need to spend it. My parents growing up were never good with money; however, they always provided for us, but then once I became an adult they claimed bankruptcy and lost everything that every penny they earned went into. Sad reality for so many and unfortunately with social media etc. I think we/lots of people compare ourselves to what others have and try to 'keep up' with the Jone's so to speak. I think it is amazing that you and Cody downsized, not often you hear of this, typically people want 'bigger, and better'. Living that minimalist lifestyle I'm sure has been freeing as fuck. Congratulations to you guys! Keep up the hard work <3

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@setback thanks girl! And literally feel like we are cut from the same cloth. I spent November and December tracking EVERYTHING that went through our accounts like Miko shows and that was a huge eye opener for both of us $8-900 just in eating out for a month that’s on top of groceries lol what HOW! Cody is the same as of right now his income is higher and for the 6 years we’ve been together we just did what we wanted . up until this January we never put a dime into savings  so scary to think about but seeing it on paper really brought it to light Releasing a lot of the “social standards” we were trying to live up to has been a total game changer honestly feel it played a massive roll in us finally getting pregnant! Stress is a killer and finally letting go of what people thought of us and doing what we want ugggh not having to keep up with the Jones’s feels so damn good lol

Answer 3

Mine is stubborn too, he also gets mad at me for working on my budget notebook so much. We only have our mortgage to pay off, but we're both retired already, and I just want to done with it. 17 months, can't wait!  

Comments

@si7 ahh omg you got this  

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Thanks Leslie!  

Answer 4

Not the boat!  But for real good job on all the payoff! Sounds like you’ve put a lot of work into it. I’m glad you could get your hubby to get on board with you! We are huge boaters, I would cry every time the sun came out it we had to sell ours. It was our one and only debt besides the house. We worked hard for it, put 20k down and paid off the remaining 60k in 2 years. It’s our fun outlet. ☀️

Comments

@triage49 girl trust me I could justify it if we used it but it’s legit been a lawn ornament for the last 2 years  love that you guys enjoy yours so much it really is such a good way to calm and get away from the world

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@thurman803 lawn ornaments are no good at that price tag  SELL IT  

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@triage49 right girl I’m trying to sell the idea haaaaard LOL

Answer 5

This is such a great story! My husband was similar. He owns a business and his mentality is we don’t need to be on a budget I’ll just make more money. we lived for a few years like that even though I knew it was wrong. Last year he has some major problems arise in his business with people not paying him, an extra rainy winter (he’s construction), and subcontractors stealing money etc etc. well we had no money for almost a year. fell behind on many payments, went into business debt to just stay afloat. all this to say he learned his lesson! His mindset has completely changed. He now says you don’t become rich my making more money, you become rich by being frugal and knowing where you’re money is going. In 4 months we’ve paid off almost all debt (one vehicle and a small student loan left) and we’ve saved $6, 000. He literally said you’ve got this I trust you just let me know what the numbers are. I know some people want there spouses “involved” but he’s just not the numbers guy. He prefers me to just handle it since he’s got so much going on running a business and I’m 100% okay with that. He is “involved” because he trusts me and does his best to follow the plan.  

Comments

@die70 omg I love this so much! Honestly I feel like you have to hit a hard time (different for everyone) in order to have the wake up call that was the house for us And my hubby is the same I do all the budgeting and legit tell him where he needs to put it each pay week! We compromised on his misc. budget he still wanted to have some fun which I am totally down for so we talked about a budget that we were both comfortable with and he’s let me take the lead on the rest

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@thurman803 that’s perfect! Everyone’s plan will look a little different! It’s about coming to an agreement and sticking to it!  

Answer 6

I just wanted to respond to another one of your comments saying you feel like you have to hit a hard time. For us, that was eating out all the time. We were going out to eat like 3-4 times a week or picking up fast food because we weren’t meal planning and when we did try to make dinner at home, more often than not it was “well the meat’s still frozen and we’re hungry so let’s just go get something. ” I had brought up budgeting before to my husband but he was very resistant because he thought budgeting = no fun ever. Finally one day when we were out at dinner, my husband looked at me and said “I’m tired of being poor. ” We both knew we made more than enough to cover everything yet we were living paycheck to paycheck. I brought up budgeting and cash envelopes again and he raised his concern again about having fun and I told him we still would have fun, it would just be PLANNED fun. He agreed to give envelopes a try and immediately in that first month we found ourselves with $2000 extra that we had been throwing away

Comments

@robertaroberto omg this makes my heart explode! They usually say we take action in times of extreme inspiration or desperation just that feeling of being sick and tired of being sick and tired can spark something insane that we used to make excuses for so easily before Super proud of you guys even just knowing this is the beginning  

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@robertaroberto this gives me hope! Our main issue is eating out and we even meal plan (but he and our girls would rather eat out more often than not. BAD habits. and I’m the only one on board with eating at home).  

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@giordano we still have our weak moments (like last night ) but keep at it! You’ll be able to get it under control. We intentionally plan for at least 1 meal a week out because we know we can’t just go cold turkey and that way we get a break from cooking along with satisfying any cravings.  

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@robertaroberto yup we had date night every week and go out for dinner it’s a huge non negotiable in our relationship! Plus it’s fun to know we can do it and work on our goals

Answer 7

I can relate so well to this. It seems like it took forever for my husband to be down with TBM or budgeting in general. It's a whole new ballgame with him actually participating.  

Answer 8

So I am curious if you sold your house where do you live that you have no house debt

Comments

@cochabamba21 we chose to rent until we find our forever home back in our hometown!  

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And I am guessing the rent and utilities ends up being cheaper than your mortgage and utilities

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@cochabamba21 by almost $800 a month!  

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@thurman803 wow that is crazy amazing.  

Answer 9

I love that you talked about selling your house that made you guys house-broke! So many people don’t want to admit their house is a problem! People keep telling us to buy a house-house (we own a condo) but I keep telling them we cannot afford a house-house (in the area we live in). Meanwhile other people I know are house poor and they don’t know why.  

Answer 10

I just had a long conversation about my husbands spending on hunting. He spent almost $5000 this past year. This doesn’t include his hunting dog that he had to have and no longer uses to hunt. We could have went on a great vacation with that. I explained I wanted our kids to have experiences growing up. He actually listened. He still talks about buying a boat all the time. I get motion sickness and have no desire to ever own one. We just got out of consumer debt this month. I am hoping to start saving some money. Not as quickly as we would have. Expecting baby 3 in a month and I am going from working part time to as needed.  

Comments

@mahatma63287 hunting can be so expensive!  

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@mahatma63287 yup mine hunts and fishes  it’s now in our sinking funds

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@thurman803 we have that in a sinking fund also. He built a new deer stand for him and our daughter last year. He has been better when I tell him we don’t have the money, he will find something of his to sell to cover the cost.  

Answer 11

I so needed to hear this today! Congratulations, great work!  

Comments

@soricine95337 thank you  

Answer 12

I think I'm going to show your post to my stubborn Hot Mess and the comments too. He is such a compulsive spender and he fights me on many things to do with spending and budgeting, it is so frustrating. I'm happy to hear your husband is finally on board. I keep praying that mine will "get it" before I kill him. Just kidding. maybe.  

Answer 13

Same thing happed with us. We just sold our house and moved into a apartment. Hopefully the housing will go down in the next few years so we can buy again. We will be able to pay off quite a few things and hopefully save up for a new place in the next few years.