Question

Hopefully this is allowed, but any moms in here (especially first time) ever use a birth doula?! I REALLY what to invest in one and could quickly get it paid off. I also only usually hear very good things about them, but also having a lot of guilt when it’s $1000 I could put towards debt—which I have been chipping away at really well! Just would love some thoughts/inputs.  

Answer 1

100% worth it! My husband and I did the Bradley birthing classes, and he was amazing during my laboring at home and the early stages at the hospital. But I vividly remember the point in labor where I needed my doulas guidance and needed my husband to just comfort/encourage me.  

Comments

@stoll0 as I recall, I questioned it as one more cost, but after learning and meeting our doula, I was on board.  

---

@pasquinade thank you so much for your input!  

---

@stoll0 ironically, it was the supervising doctor that came barging in like bull in a china shop that was the only disruption!  

---

@pasquinade  and she got one heck of an evil eye, didn’t she  

---

@pasquinade a Doctor—not shocked  

Answer 2

I didn’t use one but we went to an info session and interviewed 5 of them. I personally didn’t connect with any of them because there were 4 local hospitals and the hospital I was giving birth at wasn’t very doula friendly, so every doula I interviewed asked if I was willing to switch hospitals. BUT if we did connect with one, I would have strongly considered it. In the end, I’m happy it was just my husband and I because he did such a great job getting me through it and advocating for me. I’d suggest interviewing a bunch and if you feel good about the doula, go for it.  

Answer 3

Yep. And I regret not using one for every birth, especially my first. They are worth it. Find the right one for you. Most doulas can set up a registry on their site for your family to also contribute to.  

Answer 4

I had one. She was a student finishing up her training and it was free! She was amazing. I hooked up with her at the birthing classes—they were talking about doula services and I knew I was interested. We clicked when we first met, and when I learned she needed 3 (I think) clients to get her certification it was the perfect solution.  

Answer 5

I did not for my first and I had a less than stellar experience. Everything went well medically but it still left me hesitant and nervous going into my second. I hired a doula for my second and it was such a different experience. She knew so much and was really able to keep me relaxed and comfortable. She had suggestions I never would have thought about and was able to explain options I didn’t know existed. She also visited after I got home to assure me everything was fine with me and helped with knowing when I needed a lactation consultant and got me connected. It was a night and day experience and gave me so much confidence for my third. I really recommend a doula yo every first time mom at a minimum.  

Answer 6

Definitely look into which ever doula you go with! I’ve heard lots of amazing experiences, and one horrendous one. Just pleaseeee look into whoever you go with and try to get personal references from people who used said doula.  

Answer 7

Birth experiences are really important. Your labour and elivery could change your life drastically (for better or worse) Mama and baby are so important. Consider it investing in yourself and family. Baby over everything IMO! There's tonnes of baby related things you can do second hand to help offset costs if you *really* feel the need! ♥️ I didn't personally use one, I only used a midwife but as someone who's read about various experiences. I'd say if it can help you have the best you can, then I'd say go for it!  

Comments

Also, definitely research them!  

---

@titanium646 thank you so much! I have done extensive research and gone back and forth, but really leaning towards investing the money. I met with another doula yesterday and really connected with her!  

---

@stoll0 that is super important. I was blessed to have a lovely pregnancy, birth, fourth trimester (minor bumps in each) but it can be such an incredible experience. And I think if there's a chance that a doula would help, I'd say do it! Amazing if you've made a connection too! ♥️ Goodluck!  

Answer 8

Follow Madison Vining. her story is beautiful!  

Comments

@abamp17 thank you so much! I love any extra resources!  

Answer 9

Shes on Instagram and has a blog

Answer 10

I loved my doula and would definitely hire her again! It’s let’s dad have someone with experience help them help you.  

Comments

@mauser and this is exactly what I want! My SO is just a little weirded out still by hiring a doula. He thinks it’s odd having a stranger there—but like she said yesterday, she will actually be the only familiar face! No clue who the nurse will be and can’t guarantee my midwife will be the one on call!  

---

@stoll0 so we met with the doula multiple times prior to the birth to discuss what we wanted and to practice different stances and massages for natural pain relief. I think maybe your husband will be more comfortable after meeting someone that has been through a shit ton of births.  

---

Also before he meets your doula, I would mention to her that you are trying to get your husband on board and mention that you want her to stress how seasoned she is and also how she will help him. She should be able to make him feel included prior to the birth and then make him feel more comfortable and excited to have her. My husband was so happy to have an expert who was on our side and was there to kindly call the doctors out, if they did anything we didn’t want. Ours went perfectly, but we had plans in place for signals to ask the doctors to leave to discuss things in depth with the doula.  

Answer 11

I think it’s a great idea!  

Answer 12

I didn’t because of financial reasons, but I really regret it. I firmly believe that a doula would have better helped me advocate for myself. I had some issues where the hospital didn’t honor my birth plan and didn’t fully disclose what they were doing in the moment. It was so chaotic that I didn’t ask the questions I had or be more assertive. Every friend I have that has used a doula sings their praises

Answer 13

I used a midwife both times. I didn’t have a doula with my midwife. My children’s father was a great coach and helper for both births. Just my experience tho. I have friends who a doulas and I just didn’t feel like I needed someone doing that job.  

Answer 14

My hubby was the best doula a woman could ask for! He was so involved and didn’t get annoying lol. I was so high from the epidural during the Labor I had the best day of my life!  

Answer 15

We used the same doula for three different babies. Took a lot of pressure off of my husband, as she was able to help him find ways to help me labor more comfortably. All natural births (no meds). We have no regrets!  

Answer 16

I am a pretty serious penny pincher, however for me & my family hiring a doula for my first baby was definitely worth the investment. My family is super supportive & my mom was a retired RN, but both she & my hubby looked at me like I was on death’s door during labor because I was in so much pain. My doula was super helpful during labor telling me what to expect & giving us suggestions. She was also great to advocate for me & talk through some big decisions & things before (I decided to cancel a big trip because I was showing signs of early labor & my son was born 2. 5 months early) and after. She was there to offer support & process my birth experience after. I’m a mental health professional & I felt literally crazy in those few months following the birth with my hormones changing & facing the huge transition of having a baby. $1000 is a pretty common price, but my doula had just moved to the area, so she was trying to build her clientele & only charged $700. I had worked with her in the past, so I already trusted her. You could also probably save by hiring someone who has completed all their coursework & just needs to get their clinical hours. I had great support of family & friends who lived nearby, but if you don’t, you may consider hiring a postpartum doula to help you with baby, night feedings & household chores.  

Answer 17

Worth. It. I was pretty messed up by my first birth (severe preeclampsia/pulmonary edema, six weeks premature delivery, emergency c section), I wanted some extra support during labor - someone in the room with me for whom birth was a regular normal occurrence- someone with calm reassuring energy when I knew we would be nervous. I attempted a VBAC but we ended up in another c section, my doula wasn’t allowed in the delivery room (because the hospital only allowed one person with me) but my doulas support (before during and after labor) was still worth every penny and something I will always be grateful for.  

Answer 18

I wouldn’t spend the money. Advocate for yourself! You don’t need a doula to advocate. For birthing techniques or comforts maybe you can read up on the internet for whatever technique you want? I had five hospital births without a doula and I would have never wanted an extra person in the room. I always wanted just me and DH.  

Comments

@mcnabb that sucks when they don't respect the needs of the birthing person.  

---

@topeka she was def trying to help, she just kept suggesting different positions and telling me things and all I wanted was for her to not speak one word lol

---

@mcnabb yep! And most women do need that, so I get why she was doing it, but when you told her to go away, that should have been that haha.  

---

@mcnabb I’m definitely not in financial bind. I’ve put away $8000 in a few months for maternity leave and am currently dumping about $2000 a month extra onto loans. Not including my PTO and sick time. Doulas are great for support AND advocating when I’m exhausted and not in the right mindset.  

---

@stoll0 if u have the money and u want one def get oen

Answer 19

You have to find the right one but once you it’s the most amazing way to have a baby. You will never get the exact birth experience you want but you only have this baby one time so it’s worth any amount of money to try and do it how you want to! I like doctors personally but my friend is a birth photographer and dang those doulas are impressive!  

Answer 20

My first baby is due in April, I want natural and am so glad I have a doula. We are also in the Bradley birth method which is a 10 week class (seriously informative) and I feel more at ease knowing when labor starts I’ll be able to call her and make sure everything is okay instead of going to the hospital early to sit and wait. Hoping to labor in the comfort of my home and spend only a little bit in the hospital.  

Comments

@chair the Bradley Method is great!  

---

@chair Bradley method is fabulous!  

---

@intransigence5802 every week my husband and I leave saying how much we learned. I love how they break it down but give way more information than some of the stuff I’ve looked up on the internet. I will recommend to any future expecting moms.  

---

@chair definitely! And I would say it is amazing at teaching the husband how to support you during labor. Instead of checking into the hospital the minute you feel a contraction. We labored at home most of my labor - weren’t to the hospital finally and I was 6 cm. Labored for just four more hours at the hospital!  

---

@intransigence5802 when I first told him I wanted natural he was like are you sure? I don’t want to see you in pain and it’s amazing how many people I’ve met really push for epidural/pain meds. After taking a few classes he’s much more comfortable with my decision and not to sound cheesy but it’s really helped with communication on what makes me feel better (I can be a little hard head and try to handle pain on my own, but the different techniques with him have been really helpful) I just promised him I wouldn’t wait until the baby is crowning to go (we are literally 5min from the hospital so I’m waiting as long as I can)

Answer 21

I had used a doula with my first. She was absolutely amazing and worth every penny. If you're planning on having baby at a hospital, doulas are wonderful advocates for your rights and safety. Mine taught me a lot about different positions I could be more comfortable in and was so, so positive!  

Answer 22

A doula is worth it if you don’t have someone with you that can speak up for you. My mom was pretty outspoken and advocated for me. However twice they ignored me and I wish I would’ve had a doula with me. I feel it would’ve made the delivery much easier. Example they made me push for hours when baby wasn’t ready. I feel it’s worth it because you never know how things will go. Doctors and nurses are great but they are busy in and out providing for multiple patients. And a doula is there with you every step of the way.  

Answer 23

My sister had a doula and I don’t think she would have had it any other way. In my opinion, if something will make you more comfortable during your birthing experience, it’s worth it.  

Answer 24

I had a doula and she was fantastic. I will say that your obgyn practice is crucially important to have the birth experience you want.  

Comments

@dowsabel I’m actually switching from an OB to a midwife! I love my OB, but my views have changed a lot and I feel like this is best! Still a hospital birth!  

---

@stoll0 great decision.  

Answer 25

I wish I had one for my second birth. They were so busy and it was scary. Left alone a lot. My son’s heartbeat was dropping. I was close to an emergency c-section. The midwife chewed out the nurses for not getting her sooner. A doula would have made that much less scary.  

Answer 26

Yes! Worth every penny!  

Answer 27

Definitely worth it! Another vote YES!  

Answer 28

Yes! Some will charge less based on their experience and location. I volunteer doula at a hospital and I am not certified but many are looking for families to get experience and have lower fees.  

Answer 29

I paid $1200 for doula and plancenta encapsulation. I was a first time mom & by far best investment I ever made! 0 regrets for using the money toward that. My doula was my #1 go to she had so much more experience then myself or my husband. I had horrible experiences with doctors during pregnancy so she was my go to. She helped keep me so calm & was the one guiding me through the pushing. If I didn’t have her I probably would’ve had issues because I had an emergency induction was still able to deliver vaginally & after she was the one that told me about my daughters tongue tie affecting her breastfeeding and saved our nursing. Doctor didn’t even catch it. Anyway. Best decision ever.  

Answer 30

Oh yes! Ask for a doula who does sliding scale!  

Answer 31

I was in the same mindset. My husband was actually the one who convinced me to hire a doula because I was hesitant due to the cost. Looking back, I wouldn’t have wanted to do it without my doula and she was worth her weight in gold. Every person I’ve spoken to who has used a doula has had nothing but good things to say, no one has said their doula was unnecessary.  

Answer 32

Only thing I regret with my first baby; not spending the money on a doula! It would have given us a very different (better) and possibly more spiritual experience. I have considered how different it would have been for my husband! Having someone there to guide him and give him confidence in his role would have been a game changer! I’m all about no debt and it’s why we didn’t. You only get so many delivery stories.  

Comments

@spiegel so you feel like your birth with the doula was significantly better? This is what I always hear! Plus going into this for the first time being so clueless is terrifying!  

---

No, I never had a doula. But I had the opportunity to. It would have changed our experience and I think that had we had one, my husband and I may have had more kids than 3 (second delivery was c-section and twins). I wanted 5 kids, but births were very challenging and had we had someone who was there for just us and not hired by a hospital then I believe our experience would be one my husband would have sought one more time.  

Answer 33

Do it! Being properly supported in birth and the postpartum period (don’t forget the postpartum period) is SO important. Your physical and mental well-being in birth and postpartum will set the tone for the beginning of motherhood. If you start with a well supported base where you feel strong and loved then you’ll be better set up to parent and eventually to make more money (if you’re not well then it’s hard to work hard). I’m a postpartum doula so if you have any questions please feel free to PM me. It’s money well spent because you’re investing in yourself, your child and family.  

Answer 34

I hired a doula for my VBA2C and she was amazing! She helped me so much! No regrets!  

Answer 35

DOULAS. ARE. BOMB! Having had an incredibly traumatic birth experience, and an incredibly amazing rock this world birth they are definitely worth it for you and your partner. Birth happens maybe a handful of times in a lifetime, and it should be the best day of your pregnancy! I really believe how you were made to feel on the day you give birth shapes you as a mother. Doulas empower you and your family with knowledge and support, it’s not something I would feel bad about paying.  

Comments

@omni5722 this is amazingly THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

---

@stoll0 You’re very welcome! Being a doula, childbirth educator, and breastfeeding educator myself I might be a little biased lol But my husband was SO thankful for the help of our doula, and I actually really hired our doula for him  Really our goal is to make your birth partner look like a rockstar and be able to support the birthing woman best. I hope you have a joyful birth ❤️ Congratulations on being a momma!  

Answer 36

I percent wish I would have gone with my gut & gotten one. Our birth experience was traumatic & left me unable to carry more children naturally unless I have procedures done & sent my son to the NICU For four days with birth trauma. We always wanted two kids but after that experience neither my husband nor I want to go through that again. I know my case is extreme but I believe full heartedly if I would have put the money towards a doula I would have had the advocate I desperately needed. & I’ll tell you I am a strong lady & very vocal so I thought with that & my husband we would good to go. GET THE DOULA! It is 100% an investment in your family. ♥️

Comments

@lichtenfeld I am so sorry to hear that was you experience! Thanks for sharing your story though! It even reassures me more that this is the best route for us to take!  

---

@stoll0 yes ma’am. Do it & don’t look back for one second!  

Answer 37

YES! Best investment ever. My births would have even incredibly different without her. My husband wasn’t keen on it at first, saying he could be my support, but I kept on suggesting it and I’m so glad he did because he almost passed out both times  

Comments

@jetty hahaa my SO is not a medical guy and knows it! That’s why I can’t believe he is 100% on board! Supportive of what I chose, but still! I think he will benefit equally if not more lol

---

@stoll0 he probably won’t realize it until you are in labor  

---

@jetty typical right!?  

Answer 38

Get the doula! Goodness I can’t tell you how badly I wish I would have had one with my first two births. So much wrong could have been avoided.  

Comments

@acme9 really!? Do you mind me asking what? It’s reassuring to hear from moms that have had births with and without doulas

---

@stoll0 my first birth turned in a cesarean for no reason at all except medical intervention. I was young and didn’t have anyone to advocate for my wants and needs. The docs just did what they wanted and eventually called it because my “baby was too big”. Second baby was a repeat cesarean because I was told that once a cesarean, always a cesarean. And I believed it. ‍♀️ My third and fourth were vaginal births, one at home with a midwife and her team, and I had people there to advocate for me and make sure that nothing was done to me or even suggested to me that I was uncomfortable with. Labor and birth are a very vulnerable time and if someone would have come up to me and offered pain medication, I probably would have accepted. But I know my body doesn’t do well with them and it would have slowed labor way down, and probably resulted in another cesarean. My 4th baby was also 9+lbs, way bigger than my first that was “too big”. I so wish I would have known a thing or two and had someone there to just speak out for me when I couldn’t. I always advocate for doula’s and midwives!  

---

@acme9 this so interesting! I have been reading a lot about unnecessary c-sections and this is exactly what I’m wanting to avoid! So sorry that happened to you, but how awesome you were able to have 2 VBACs and positive birth experiences! This just confirms my want is more of a need

Answer 39

I had one at my third birth - best investment ever.  

Answer 40

I did with my last 2 kids. Homebirth with a midwife and doula. Well worth it

Answer 41

Loved my doula. Got her extra cheap because she need some more hours to sign off her certification in the US. (She was military wife and had been practicing for years overseas).  

Answer 42

100% recommend. Hold off paying down debt to make it happen without accruing more debt to pay for one! So worth it

Comments

@paratyphoid I can easily cash flow this so it makes me feel better!  

Answer 43

Soooooo worth it. Invest in your birth and your health!  

Answer 44

I didnt get one with my first, but am going to have one with my second. She has been so supportive in helping me prepare for my birth! I say its 100% worth the money!  

Answer 45

I didn’t with my first two and longed for some more support and so we did with my third. LOVED it!  

Answer 46

It’s totally worth it! Especially if you plan to do a natural birth. They are there for questions and to talk about fears and get keep you focused on your goals when birth time comes. Don’t feel guilty about it. Paying off debt is great but you gotta live life as well.  

Answer 47

I used a student doula who needed experience to finish her course. She charged $300. Maybe you can find a student like I did. In hindsight, I will say that I had my hubby and midwife there and that I didn’t feel like the doula contributed too much. That was just my experience though. But everyone’s birth is different

Comments

I second this! Or ask if you can trade something. My doula gave me a discount in exchange for writing a recommendation letter and a review on their website.