Question

So apparently I'm now too skinny according to the boyfriend ☹ Before he called me pleasantly plump and said I had thunder thighs which I really hated. So I've lost 30lbs and I'm happy now. That's what matters right?!  

Answer 1

He should love you no matter how you look

Answer 2

Yep! How you feel in your own skin is the only thing that matters.  

Answer 3

You have to have wanted this for you first.  

Comments

@collectivity most definitely! I've only ever lost weight for me. How I look is very important. to me

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There you go  good job

Answer 4

He will never be happy for you and will keep you second guessing yourself. So be happy and proud of yourself no matter what he says.  

Answer 5

Both comments are rude.  

Answer 6

You’re gorgeous both ways.  

Answer 7

He’s probably insecure . don’t let him sabotage your success. Otherwise, say goodbye  . there are plenty of supportive fish in the sea and SELF LOVE is most important! You deserve to be treated with respect!  

Answer 8

Derogatory comments when you were heavier, derogatory comments now that you are slimmer. This boyfriend is someone who wishes to control you by minimizing you.  

Answer 9

Discovering what you can do "face to face" may make a difference.  

Answer 10

My first recommendation is couples counseling to learn more respectful communication for him and how to set appropriate boundaries for you . If that doesn’t work or he refuses to go - get yourself a rockin’ outfit and find yourself a man who will appreciate you for you, and speak to you respectfully regardless of size!  

Answer 11

Sounds a bit jealous.  

Answer 12

Happiness comes from within so id say he needs a reality check unfortunately. He should support YOU no matter what.  

Answer 13

Maybe you need anew boyfriend

Answer 14

He sounds like he is insecure and jealous.  

Answer 15

Sounds like you need a new boy friend!  

Answer 16

Do it for yourself and your health.  

Answer 17

Lose the weight and lose the boyfriend. WinWin!  

Answer 18

Dump him. He should have never said ANY of that other than I love you and you are perfect. I want you to be healthy. Seriously. My first husband would have said those hurtful hateful things. Took me 13 years to figure out he’s damaged. Second time was the charm. Regardless, do not tolerate this behavior. Ever.  

Comments

I agree it wasn't the right way to say things but maybe he did prefer her a bit more plump. it is for her to have a talk with him to take her the way she is. I wouldnt gonas far as dumping him. but she should talk to him

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@collectivity I told him he didnt have to touch me if I was too skinny and boney. lol

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Hahaahah men are creature of habits. I am sure he just need to get used to the new you. if not well his loss

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@collectivity I highly doubt he prefers her plump or else he would never have called her thunder thighs. That’s verbal abuse!  

Answer 19

Yes happy is good!  

Answer 20

Sounds like you need a new boyfriend

Answer 21

Maybe you need to lose a hundred + more pounds‍♂️

Comments

@neckwear I kept telling my now ex-husband that was never happy with me that I could lose 180 more lbs. best thing I ever did.  

Answer 22

Absolutely, if he doesn’t love you for you than find someone who does. Life’s too short to stay with a man that criticizes you when pleasantly plump, thunder thighs, and now too thin. You deserve someone who sees you for you. Love your new self, you worked hard for her so don’t let a single nay sayer bring you down!  

Comments

@chihli , my thoughts exactly. Seems like there's no pleasing him. He's criticizing everything  

Answer 23

You should not have to ask - You know how you feel - His type are a dime a dozen

Answer 24

What matters is are YOU happy with your results? Are you willing and happy to start in the next phase ? Are you at your goal weight? Yes it’s nice when others comment on your success but it’s only YOU who knows deep down where you want to be. You know your family history and what could be if you don’t reach you goal. It’s only you who know best. Be happy with what you want not anyone else. Congrats on the 30 lbs an don’t give up if you haven’t reached where you went to be. You got this

Comments

@conal . I actually surpassed my goal by about 13lbs. I'm quite happy with where I am now and I've been sitting at this weight now (120lbs) for about a month. Starting phase 2 now.  

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All the best to you on phase 2 you got this  

Answer 25

You health is for you. You are living in this body. He gets the side benefits

Answer 26

It may be that he’s worried you’re so attractive now you’re going to go out and find another man. Which in my opinion you should. ‍♀️

Answer 27

New boyfriend time for an upgrade lol

Answer 28

It sounds like you look too good and now he feels insecure

Answer 29

Sounds like you need to loose some more weight. aka the boyfriend.  

Answer 30

Girl your beautiful and I think he's scared to lose you now .  

Answer 31

If you're in a healthy body fat range, then you're healthy! That's what matters!  

Answer 32

I think it’s time to get rid of the boyfriend, you are beautiful and look great !  

Answer 33

It’s how you feel that matters. I reached my goal weight and everyone said “you look so skinny” or you look “gaunt” I felt good but put a few extra (20lbs) back on. Now I don’t feel comfortable. I need to get back to where I felt healthy.  

Comments

@snowden1 exactly it’s all how you feel. Not out to impress it’s your health that matters not anyone else’s. You got this too. Congrats on making your goal and if you are at it again you know you can do this. All the best

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@conal thank you.  

Answer 34

Good thing he’s showing his true colors while just a bf.  

Answer 35

Think you need a new boyfriend. Wouldn’t be happy with someone who said I had thunder thighs

Answer 36

I think you need a new boyfriend. He sounds like an asshole. You can do better.  

Answer 37

Boyfriend needs to learn inner beauty! You should be praised for that awesome accomplishment!  

Answer 38

We just can’t win as women ! Be happy with the way you look it matters how you feel

Answer 39

Sounds like you need a new man!  

Answer 40

Girl, no one who loves you should call you anything but beautiful.  

Answer 41

That’s all that matters ! You’re doing this for you ❤️

Answer 42

Yes and if you feel great inside even more

Answer 43

You worry about you and how you feel. I have an opinion on the man but I'll keep it to myself as it's none of my business. Lose as much or little weight as you like. Main thing is you feel good, are healthy and happy . Congrats btw!  

Answer 44

No boyfriend that truly loves you would say you have thunder thighs. That's horrible. If you're happy that's all that counts! Trade up girl

Answer 45

Really? He’s no man!  

Answer 46

I agree that what matters is your happiness ❣️

Answer 47

Time to lose another 150-200 lbs. depending on the size of the boyfriend.  

Answer 48

Time to lose the boyfriend too.  

Answer 49

So agree - he shouldn’t have been calling you thunder thighs or calling you too skinny. Sounds like someone who will always be critical. Might want to rethink this relationship. Wish you the best. ❤️

Answer 50

Pleasantly Plump I could live with but calling you thunder thighs? NooOoo! I’ve heard way too many crime-related stories that start out that way. #SSDGM If he finds anything else to pick on, I wouldnt stand for it. I’m glad you are feeling good about yourself. Thats what matters ❤️

Answer 51

What matters is for you to love yourself and honor who you are at any weight- real love doesn’t use manipulative tactics to control another person

Answer 52

Umm byyyyye ✌ find someone who loves you EITHER way!  

Answer 53

If someone I loved called me thunder thighs he'd be missing some teeth and me.  

Answer 54

It’s adjustment period for some people we lose the weight so quickly it seems drastic to them.  

Answer 55

He's stupid n insecure

Answer 56

Whay matters is what you think! So Yes! And if you feel great then that's awesome

Answer 57

You’ve changed. You feel good. That’s great. Don’t ditch the boyfriend like some say! Jeesh! Adjust to the lifestyle and embrace your relationship, you did this for you and no one else it’s just a lot to take In from a spouses perspective.  

Answer 58

None of his business. Run if you start feeling like you have to change to please him.  

Answer 59

Mine tells me he misses his chunky monkey all the time.  

Answer 60

You do you boo. You need to love and honor yourself first! If you feel great then good for you! He will love you for you.  

Answer 61

Why would you be with anyone who said you have thunder thighs? He clearly is verbally and emotionally abusive if he keeps criticizing him. Maybe time to drop the boyfriend along with the weight.  

Comments

@wheedle it’s important to do what pleases you.  

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@faust I’m sure it does not please anyone to be abused.  

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@wheedle you are right. Just be strong and take care of yourself - you are worth it.  

Answer 62

You put it out there. LEAVE NOW! You’ll never find what matters if you stay.  

Answer 63

Yes. He’s abusing you emotionally. Sounds toxic.  

Answer 64

I had plenty of people tell me “you’re too skinny you can stop losing now”. I’m single so it was not a SO. Just family Colleagues. I think when they see the change they get worried about you, as in your health. Of course some spouses may feel threatened and insecure. Afraid that they will lose you. Try to be reassuring but don’t give up your health and happiness to compensate for his insecurities. Let him see how happy you are and how your joy brings new life to the relationship.  

Answer 65

It’s about YOU! And how you feel in your own skin. That would be the day I listen to a man about my weight.  

Answer 66

Time to throw the whole man away

Answer 67

Yep! And maybe it’s the boyfriend that’s the real problem

Answer 68

Seriously, it sounds like he’s never going to be happy with you. Right one he’s picking on your body. What next? Tell him how this makes you feel and if he keeps it up anyway, show him the door. Life is too short to try to please anyone but yourself. ❤️

Answer 69

Sounds like you need to make him an ex bf. Because that's wrong and my husband would never say anything about my weight. Even when I was at my heaviest or smallest.  

Answer 70

Hey. This journey should be about you and how you feel. It’s for no one else. Congrats on your weight loss and I’m glad you’re feeling happy.  

Answer 71

Sounds like your boyfriend is afraid u look so good he may loose u. Rock on girlfriend!  

Answer 72

You need to replace him with 30 more lbs of muscle on another guy this isn't about him

Answer 73

No. What matters is that your boyfriend is an asshole. Just like the old clothes that no longer fit you, neither does he. Ditch him.  

Answer 74

Great job on the weightloss. Now lose this boyfriend that makes any negative comment regarding you. Can you imagine living with his insults for the rest of your life? You deserve better no matter what your thighs look like.  

Answer 75

Thanks for asking but you should not have to ask. Love you first no matter what and value yourself and be happy for you. (Noticed I didn't include toxic man in this equation)

Answer 76

Do what you do for you. Dont worry about what anyone else says.  

Answer 77

Probably sees your weight loss as a thread. Fear of loosing you now that you feel better, look better, more confidence. And how’s HIS weight? Maybe he doesn’t like what HE sees in the mirror but didn’t do anything about it (like you have)? All these questions you need to ask yourself as you say goodbye to him and hello to the new you. you got this!  

Answer 78

Hes afraid you will be attractive to someone else

Answer 79

Not very kind or caring if he said you had 'thunder thighs' and knew you hated it. Just sayin'.  

Answer 80

Time for a new boyfriend.  

Answer 81

The only thing you Need to lose is the boyfriend!  

Answer 82

Find another guy. one who loves you for you and loves all about you and your body, no matter its size.  

Answer 83

Sounds like you could loose a lot of weight if you let him go.  

Answer 84

He called you “pleasantly plump” AND said you had “thunder thighs”? Um, he needs to go!  

Answer 85

I agree

Answer 86

Sounds like a douchebag.  

Answer 87

Yes, what matters is what you are comfortable with

Answer 88

That's the only thing that matters

Answer 89

Time to get new boyfriend

Answer 90

On either end your weight is what he talks about and critically no less?! Of course when we react we are only hearing about 1 aspect of him. However both of his responses raise major red flags for me about his value and respect for you.  

Answer 91

Dump him.  

Answer 92

Exactly! You need to be happy with you. Please don't allow him to discourage you